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Way of Kings film rights acquired!


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Don't know if anybody else saw this, but it's probably one of the most amazing things you will ever read.





In an official PR broadcast today, Dreamworks Studios announced the acquisition of film rights for Brandon Sanderson's NYT best-selling fantasy novel, "The Way of Kings."

"We're very excited to bring The Way of Kings to the screen," Dreamworks CEO April Firston says. "We're dedicated to giving this epic story the exposure it deserves, and plan on staying completely true to the book, unlike that hack Peter Jackson."

Initial reports are that the book will be split into seven 4-hour long animated movies, each to be directed by M. Night Shaylaman. Ben McSweeney, interior artist for the original book, is quoted as saying, "Well, they got the rockbuds right, so that's something, I guess." Brandon Sanderson didn't have time to comment, as he's currently working on fifteen additional tie-in novels taking place over a thousand-year time span in eight different interconnecting worlds.

Casting is still underway, but Robert Pattinson is rumored to be in talks to voice Kaladin, and Pauly Shore has expressed interest in Hoid. Eighteen musical numbers will be added, including "Why Can't I Just Die," "What the Hell Are These Symbol Headed Things?" and "Livin' La Vida Roshar."

EDIT: Obviously this was an April Fool's joke. Happy Spring everyone, and stormfather forbid what I've written above should ever come to pass. Thanks to /u/virgiliart and /u/catastrophesnail for brainstorming on ideas.

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Also, here's the lyrics to the joke song, as well as a debate about Poopspren:


She's into superstitions, Windrunners and chasmfiends.

Each storm-brought premonition, makes me wonder what I've seen.

She's into new sensations, new kicks in the pale stormlight.

She's got a new addiction for every day and night.

She'll make you take your clothes off and go dancing in highstorms.

She'll take your breath away with each song that she performs,

like an arrow to your brain. Come On!

Upside, inside out she's livin la vida Roshar

She'll bind and lash you down, livin la vida Roshar

Her dress is green as broams, her eyes are light as a star

She will wear you out, livin la vida Roshar. Come On!

Livin la vida Roshar, Come on!

She's livin la vida Roshar.

Woke up in Kharbranth City somewhere down beside the sea,

She took my spheres in ten quick heartbeats

In a blaze of cold stormlight.

She never drank the water and made me order orange wine

Once she's had a taste of light she'll never be the same

Yeah, she'll make you go insane.



[+]mistborn 134 points135 points136 points 17 daysago (17 children)



17 days



You got it wrong. I'm not busy because I'm writing other books, I'm working on the licensing deals! Cardboard shardplate! Official Bridge Four loincloths! "There's spren in my poop" toilet paper!


[+]BrianMcClellan 23 points24 points25 points 16 daysago (0 children)


16 daysago

Moichendising, Moichendising, where the real money from the movie is made!

[+]AlphaNeonic 16 points17 points18 points 16 daysago (0 children)


16 days


Don't forget Szeth's 'lil Assassin Playset, complete with Oathstone and tissues to mourn your victims.

[+]DeleriumTrigger 8 points9 points10 points 16 daysago (0 children)


16 days


Pre-ordering poopspren toilet paper


[+]Rutthed 10 points11 points12 points 16 daysago (7 children)


16 days


Serious question: are there poopspren, and how would they fare in indoor plumbing situations?



[+]mistborn 41 points42 points43 points 16 daysago (5 children)


16 days


Well, it depends on how you're defining spren. In the books, they don't make a distinction, but there are several varieties. At the basic level, everything has an identity--a soul, you might say, but more than that. This is based on how it is viewed, and how long it has been viewed that way. Feces would have this, but wouldn't have a very strong cognitive identity because of its transitional nature.

Other types of spren, the type that characters see and interact with, are cognitive ideals or concepts which have taken on literal personification over time. These are usually related to forces or emotions, and don't relate to this particular topic.

And that's far more than I ever expected to say on this...


[+]FellKnight 14 points15 points16 points 16 daysago (1 child)


16 days


Never have I been more interested to read about poop...

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  • 11 months later...

Man I was glad when I realized that this was a joke. For a moment I thought it might be serious and my heart just screamed Noooooooooooooo!. Oddly enough it sounded similar to when Darth Vadar expressed a similar sentiment upon Sidious informing him that Padme was dead.

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it was waaay over the top, so i got the joke immediately.

Anyway, I wouldn't believe it if it was announced officially. mistborn, the wheel of time... many movies were announced and never released.

Now I share the same attitude of the authors of good omens when a movie for it was announced


EDIT: I'm quoting from memory so exact words may be different, and I'm not 100% sure on who said what


neil said that he would believe it when he was sitting in the movie teather watching the end titles, and terry said he wouldn't believe it even then


Edited by king of nowhere
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