Curious Anamaximder he/him Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Punography- post your puns here! When chemists die, they barium. Jokes about German sausage are the wurst. I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time. How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it. I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me. This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down. I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words. They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O. PMS jokes aren't funny; period. Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations. We're going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz. I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me. Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils? When you get a bladder infection urine trouble. Broken pencils are pointless. I tried to catch some fog, but I mist. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus. England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool . I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest. I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx. All the toilets in New York 's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on. I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough. Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes. Velcro - what a rip off! A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy. Venison for dinner again? Oh deer! 8 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curiosity he/him Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 I find puns terribly corny. They aren't too pleasing to the ear. However, they're my field of expertise. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbird he/him Posted June 9, 2015 Report Share Posted June 9, 2015 Here, have two cow puns. What do you call a cow without legs? Ground beef What do you get when a cow tries to jump over a barbed wire fence? Udder destruction 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curiosity he/him Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 What do you call a cow with only two legs? Lean beef. Well, that joke was cheesy. I hope that you were in no whey insulted. Of course, I cud have reduced the sharpness, though I thought it was rather mild. I thought it was rather cultured, in fact. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kasimir he/him Posted June 10, 2015 Report Share Posted June 10, 2015 This was actually a real pun my prof made in our philosophy of culture lecture "I hope you didn't join this class if you care about Marx." 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King he/him Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 I told my pastor a pun the other day. It made him cross. * drops microphone * 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThirdGen Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 I heard some intruders kidnapped Donald Trump, but police caught 'em on the Brooklyn Bridge. I can't blame them for failing, really. Bridge is the hardest trump-taking game. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kobold King he/him Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 Can someone help me make a pun about guns? I'm shooting for subtlety. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlion Blight he/him Posted June 27, 2015 Report Share Posted June 27, 2015 Can someone help me make a pun about guns? I'm shooting for subtlety. I don't know, might trigger some pretty bad puns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Honor Spren she/her Posted June 30, 2015 Report Share Posted June 30, 2015 What do you call an antelope without a face? I got no I deer Death is certainly a grave matter Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
+Slowswift he/him Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft? A flat minor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel she/her Posted July 1, 2015 Report Share Posted July 1, 2015 The entire chemist one is: what do you do with a sick chemist? If you can't curium or you can't helium then you might as well barium. The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking. The invention of the broom swept the nation. The invention of the whiteboard was remarkable. But the discovery of fire sparked it all. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Honor Spren she/her Posted July 2, 2015 Report Share Posted July 2, 2015 Why is that you can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThirdGen Posted July 2, 2015 Report Share Posted July 2, 2015 (edited) Why is that you can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna? On the contralto, it's quiet possible. ... I'm so sorry. Edit: A couple GoT puns to redeem the above. What do you call dandruff on Hodor? Bran flakes. Why did Tyrion give a speech at the wedding? He was a brave little toaster. Edited July 2, 2015 by ThirdGen 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kestrel she/her Posted July 2, 2015 Report Share Posted July 2, 2015 Honestly, guys, those music puns are very flat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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