The Knights Awkward

[Mistrunner]

Speak again the hallowed oaths:

 

Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays.

 

This guild is for those of us who will pledge our allegiance to the cause of... well... being awkward. Our best friends are fictional characters. We stay up late at night, watching the comforting blue glow of our various devices as we look up obscure things on The Coppermind. We read and reread books for traces of Hoid and various awesomeness.

 

The Knights Awkward must rise again.

 

The orders are as follows (spoiler tags for length)

 

Referencecaller

            I will read all Brandon, even if it is not Cosmere

            I will remember WoB's that have been forgotten

            I will link to all my sources, even if they are obscure

 

Theoryweavers

            I will speculate even if there is nothing to speculate upon

            I will ask the questions which have not been asked

            I will connect that which has not been connected

           

Oregonbreakers

            I will not fail to recognize the Reconerverse in spite of the Cosmere

            I will ask the Question in order to answer it

            I will attempt to kill Nighthound so long as he lives

 

Alleywatcher

            I will offer cookies to those who have not been spiked initiated

            I will sustain the knowledge of Hemalurgy because it is fun

            I will seek to avoid being avoided in dark alleys

 

Forumlurker

            I will read that which has not been read

            I will stay silent amongst many words

            I will enjoy without being upvoted

 

Spambringer

            I will B Ł Â Ç K M A G ï C love charm? marriage problems? REPORTED

 

Quipsmiths (Herald: Hoid)

I will make fun of the unmakefunnable
I shall be frustrating when people hate me for it
I will not reuse jokes on pain of being dunked in a highstorm

 

Shipwards

I will ship the unshippable

 

Theorydancers

 

I will remember WOBs that have been forgotten
I shall refuse to have a social life as long as Realmatic Theory is undiscovered
I shall go to every signing and search out evidence

 

 Convertshapers

I will convert those who are not

I will convince those without to buy two copies

I will loan my extras to anyone without

Rolesmiths

 I will bind others together with fictional narratives

I will battle on, even if my fictional characters fall around me
I shall raise my strength stat to defend those without, even at the cost of my resources

Thanks to Curiosity, Winter Cloud, and BramFinem!

Edited June 21, 2015 by mistrunner

[Brightness Random she/her]

With a flourish, Brightness Random entered and knelt before mistrunner. "M'lady, I ask your permission to join this guild. I am already confident in my ability to live the first oath: Books before friends. 17th Shard before the real world. Release dates before birthdays."

[July]

Hhm... I am fairly sure that Granny Hoid would not mind if I joined.

 

(Bowing before Mistrunner)

May I Phoenix become a Knight Awkward? 

Books before friends.

17th Shard before the real world.

Release dates before birthdays.

Edited May 21, 2015 by Phoenix

[Mistrunner]

Mistrunner nods regally.

 

"Your Words are accepted. The Knights Awkward have been refounded. Popularity shall be defeated."

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"Greetings. I am Queen Elsa Steelheart, queen of the Newcago Court. Would the Knights Awkward be interested in an alliance?"

[Mistrunner]

"I am Mistrunner. The Knights Awkward would like an alliance, as long as we don't have to attend any meetings. We have books to read, as you know."

[Mistrunner]

"If I remember correctly, she is the leader of the Pack of the Cosmere. The Knights Awkward accept the alliance, as we are a new and rather small guild that would rather not be ripped apart by wolves."

[Queen Elsa Steelheart she/her]

"I am Mistrunner. The Knights Awkward would like an alliance, as long as we don't have to attend any meetings. We have books to read, as you know."

 

"Excellent. Thank you."

[July]

I have a question, do any of you fellow Knights Awkward wear aluminum foil hats and when your friends ask you if you are a government conspirator you say, "No, I am protecting myself from emotional allomancy"?

[Kairos]

The door opens, and a green-eyed youth strolls in.

"Books before friends. 17th Shard before the real world. Release dates before birthdays.

I will make fun of the unmakefunable. May I enlist in the orders of Awkwardness to better pursue the refining waters of annoyance?"

[July]

To further show my allegiance to the Knights Awkward I shall say the words of my order (I have an electronic, soft cover, and hardcover of almost all of Brandon's books)

I will convert those who are not

I will convince those without to buy two copies

I will loan my extras to anyone without

[Mistrunner]

Mistrunner replies, "You may join, as long as you keep your annoying jokes away from those of us reading. However, I doubt that will deter you Quipsmiths."

[July]

As a Knight Awkward do I have any special awkward surges?

[July]

Conversion: The surge of converting.  Makes others more willing to listen to the speaker

Relcussion: The surge of relcuting.  Turns the user invisible (for reading purposes of course)  

[Mistrunner]

As a Knight Awkward do I have any special awkward surges?

The Surge of staying up until 3:00 AM reading Sanderson novels.

The Surge of reading in general.

The Surge of Theorizing.

... and many more we do not know of yet.

[Kestrel she/her]

[i have found it

my people

No clue if I'll rp. We'll see.]

[+Slowswift]

I NEED THIS. HOW DO I JOIN.

 

Or, you know, if you want... or I could just go...

[Guest]

The door to the hall opened with a nearly silent squeak, and Kipper slipped in. On stealthy feet, he edged his way along the wall. He gasped in amazement, as he saw...

To be continued on Sunday...

Edited May 22, 2015 by Guest

[Mistrunner]

I NEED THIS. HOW DO I JOIN.

 

Or, you know, if you want... or I could just go...

Congratulations. That's how you join.

 

Welcome to our guild!

 

Edit: Well, you have to say the first oath.

Edited May 22, 2015 by mistrunner

[Voidus]

Voidus entered the new guildhall, carefully he examined his options.

Feeling too stifled by any one order, he cloned himself twice then spiked the orders of Oregonbreakers and Theoryweavers out of his clones.

"As may have been obvious, I am an Alleywatcher, and now something more. I shall be more awkward by far than has ever been imagined! I shall stay up til 6am and sleep during hours I should be studying so that I may consume more of the glorious cosmere, I shall forgo all friendship excepting those forged on the forums I shall be very very awkward!!!!"

Voidus paused briefly, his new spikes leaking blood over his clothes.

"So um.... can I join?"

[Bort he/him]

The door slammed open, to many whispered cries of "Shshshshsh!" In shuffled a... book? It was a huge tome, covered in dust, but bearing an image of a spear wielding Radiant on the front. As the book shuffled towards Mistrunner's throne (comfortable reading chair), it became more obvious that there were stubby little fingers holding onto the book.

 

When it stopped in front of Mistrunner, the book lowered itself to the floor, and a pair of thick, heavy, spectacles appeared from behind it, attached to a small head sprouting mad white hair in many directions. The head disappeared behind the book, and an arm came our from behind the left side, disappearing again as the head reappeared. Did whatever that was just bow? It was impossible to tell when he was behind the book.

 

A wavering voice spoke from behind the book. "I am Bortholemew the Blind, and I am here to join the Knights Awkward, if you will have me.  I am a Forumlurker, and I have spoken the first two oaths. Books before friends. 17th Shard before the real world. Release dates before birthdays. I will read that which has not been read." 

Edited August 4, 2015 by Bort

[Curious Anamaximder he/him]

Hi! Can I join as a Theorydancer?

Edited May 22, 2015 by Venture Mistborn

[Guest]

Forget that, I don't have time for RP right now.

Well, I would join the Knights Awkward, because I do like to join Guilds, but unfortunately for your guild membership, I'm the most charismatic and friendly person I know. Can't be helped. Perhaps I can join as the Knights Awkward/Dark Alley liason?

[Elithanathile he/him]

A young man in tattered yellow robes, looking as though he hasn't washed them in months, and wearing a look of aged idiocy walks into the newly furnished grand hall of the Knights Awkward. He bobs his head in a sort of greeting, and opens his mouth.

 

"I did done do these now. Cans I joinings? Bokks are goot.

 

I haz kitty.

 

Whats are we talkings?

 

I iz awkwords."

 

He takes your dazed silence as agreement, and leaves to look for the attic, so he can Leap Of Faith  off into a wagon of hay. The knights awkward have risen again. And they should really screen their members more carefully.

Edited May 22, 2015 by Bridge Boy

[Silverblade5 he/him]

    I will read that which has not been read

            I will stay silent amongst many words

            I will enjoy without being upvoted

*Bows*

 

May I have the privilege of joining this noble order?