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Posted

Here's one that got really weird really quickly

Quote

Shallan embraced Adolin, and Pattern buzzed with annoyance  "And you, Aesudan?" The woman's face was stern. Adolin frowned, his face red, his eyes bright. He could have said something, or at least done something, but instead he simply smiled. "You're a pretty woman." "You know, Aesudan, if you want, you could be my husband." The woman cocked her head and gave Adolin a surprised look. "If you're looking for a husband, that is." "But—" "And if you're not," Adolin repeated, "I want you to be my husband. Not just because you're pretty, but because I want to be a husband, too. And I know you can be." "Why didn't you just ask to be my husband?!" The woman's mouth fell open and she was suddenly red-faced. She quickly stepped back. "No, I didn't," Adolin said. "I was just

 

Posted (edited)
2 hours ago, The Last Post said:

I made a thread for this

Every single one of these kills me with laughter. This is my new favorite thing. Link the thread here? :lol:

Edit: nvm found it 

Edited by AonEne
Posted

AI predicts the end of The Stormlight Archive:

Quote

Dalinar Kholin burned them all.

The people were the ones who had the most to lose.

The Dragon Reborn had a sense of what to do, and was determined to save as many as he could. He had decided to use the power of the Oath Rod in his duel with Kaladin. If the people of Alethkar wanted to kill Kaladin, they could only do so by removing the Oath Rod. To save the people of Alethkar from their suffering, he would use the power of the Oath Rod and remove his own lifeblood to end Kaladin's, taking the responsibility for the deaths. He was also confident that Kaladin would win, as it had been long since Kaladin had shown himself weak enough to be killed.

Dalinar Kholin knew he was wrong. He had always believed Kaladin to be strong, but Kaladin had not proved his point yet. Kaladin's fight with Dalinar had proved that Kaladin was

 

Posted

I might have broke it:

Quote

Szeth-son-son-Vallano wore white on the day he was to kill a king, and black on the day he was to do the same, for the king wore black to kill the king, and white to do the same, for the same reason.

A king who has slain a king is also killed, as he who kills a king is also a king.

A king who has slain a king is killed by the same thing as the king who is killed, as the king who is killed by the king is also a king, but he who kills a king is killed by something else, as the king who is killed by the king is also a king.

And a king who is killed by the same thing as the king is killed, is killed by the same thing as the king who is killed, as the king who is killed by the king is

 

Posted

 

It's... beautiful.

Quote

One day breadmunks had a bunker party, but they ran out of void-apples. They went to the woods and got a giant bunch of apples, but the void-apples were all dead and rotten, so they went back to the bunker.

In one sense, this is a metaphor for "doublespeak" (a.k.a. the art of pretending to have a complicated meaning, when really you only mean a single, simple one). It's an allegory for the difficulty of making sense of the world when we are surrounded by such complexity. But as a metaphor for the human condition, it's a particularly relevant one. If one day breadmunks had a bunker party, but they

 

Posted
12 hours ago, Faceless Mist-Wraith said:

Szeth-son-son-Vallano wore white on the day he was to kill a king, and black on the day he was to do the same, for the king wore black to kill the king, and white to do the same, for the same reason.

that just broke my mind

Posted (edited)

*Dalinar* *summons perpendicularity*

*Kaladin* *Kills people trying to kill Dalinar*

*Shallan* *Summons a fake army*

*Adolin* yeah good luck with that guys, I'm gonna follow that cool giant thingo over there cause you've got this covered.

*Radiant* Sure

*Veil* Nope nope nope

*Shallan* Mild identity crisis, honey go do that ill be back soon.

*Veil* Really tho? will you?

Edited by FictionSpren
Posted
Quote

How do you 'accidentally' kill a noble man in his own mansion?
With a knife in the chest. Or, rather, a pair of knives in the chest.
 As I said, a noble was just going to eat dinner at the mansion. I'm going to tell that to my Master."
"How many knives does your Master have? And why are they here? Are they the ones you were going to have her kill?"
"Hmm? Ahh, I don't have any knives. I'm only using this one. I'm not going to kill my Master like that."
"What's with that, the knife is a family heirloom. You can use it to kill any one of your family, that is one of the reasons you were invited to this country."
"Eh? No, the reason is… It's because of the incident…"
"Yes. This knife was made with a very special alloy, only made in

 

Posted

How rude of your ‘frieds’. Also, may I ask, are they deep-fried or just normal? :P

Posted
5 hours ago, Handerfle said:

Even during a reread:

B3CA7844-7688-489E-B7CB-FDA2E49D122A.jpeg.aae4fc134432cff0362b4f8ce2e88043.jpeg

This was exactly what happened to me Saturday night with my reread of Oathbringer—1AM and everything...

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