Popular Post Shaggai Posted January 12, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 12, 2015 In the vein of Chuck Norris Facts... Brandon Sanderson once made a magic system that was perfectly consistent and understandable. He never released the book, because it kept convincing people that they could fly. Brandon Sanderson has never confirmed nor denied that his ink can cure all wounds. Brandon Sanderson gives cookies to the Dark Alley. Brandon Sanderson has an Honorpen. Brandon Sanderson is waterproof. Once, Brandon Sanderson was having trouble writing a book, so he wrote the sequel without telling anyone. 55
Guest Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson can RAFO you before you even open your mouth.
RawToast225 he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson invested Chuck Norris with his supernatural abilities. 14
Popular Post Kobold King he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 12, 2015 Chuck Norris attends Sanderson conventions cosplaying as Kelsier. 26
gjustice99 she/her Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 (edited) Brandon Sanderson and his sanderbots can write books faster than you can think of possible scenarios. Brandon Sanderson can write a plot twist that no one in the universe (not even Chuck Norris) could see coming. Edited January 12, 2015 by gjustice99 7
RawToast225 he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson writes best sellers in his sleep. 10
gjustice99 she/her Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson writes best sellers in his sleep. So that's how he accidentally wrote a book 9
Popular Post Khyrindor he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 12, 2015 And Chuck Norris took it without question or retaliation. 18
RawToast225 he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson bots beat the crap out of Chuck Norris. 6
Popular Post Argent he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 12, 2015 Come on, guys, piggybacking on Chuck Norris' fame to make Brandon more impressive is easy. You can do better than that When the first book of a new series comes out, Brandon Sanderson outlines and finishes the entire series as a writing exercise. New releases in the series are simply the other authors publishing crude summaries of Brandon's outlines. Brandon Sanderson once had a bear more epic than Pat Rothfuss', but he gave it to Pat as a sign of respect. Brandon Sanderson doesn't invent new magic systems anymore, he simple recalls the ones he created when he was using the pseudonym Adonalsium. Brandon Sanderson inhales oxygen and exhales Divine Breaths. When he was young, Brandon Sanderson woke up in the middle of the night with a mild nosebleed. The napkin he used to wipe it off became known as Nightblood. When Brandon Sanderson needs to fuel his Allomancy, he drinks a vial of metal. Not metal flakes. A vial of liquid metal. When Brandon Sanderson attends events wearing superhero T-shirts, he is secretly a little afraid that people will recognize him as the face of every superhero ever. Brandon Sanderson is actually the father of the fantasy genre. The only reason Tolkien gets the credit for it is because when Brandon first decided to be a professional author, he went back in time and gave Tolkien his ideas, so that the genre could develop and mature for a few decades before he started publishing. He only did that so his readers would have something else at least a little enjoyable to read between his own releases. 55
Popular Post vineyarddawg Posted January 12, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson actually invented the perfect magic system a really long time ago, but we just call it "the laws of physics." 63
Fatebreaker he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson wasn't born, he wrote himself into existence. The sun rises each morning because Brandon Sanderson wrote it so. It it said if Brandon Sanderson were to right a bad novel, everyone who read it would die. However, this is Brandon we're talking about, so we don't ever have to worry. 13
Popular Post Kobold King he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson wrote a math program, but teachers complained that it was "too awesome" because students didn't want to focus on their other studies. Brandon Sanderson's wit is sharp enough to pierce the inner layers of a neutron. Brandon Sanderson once fell asleep at his keyboard with a word document open. We now call the sequence of keys his nose pressed "Sanderson's Laws of Magic." Brandon Sanderson employs a team of orangutans to re-write his novels before publishing, to filter out as much awesomeness as they can. This is to prevent readers' standards from being permanently raised, preventing them from enjoying other novels. The strategy is successful only 30% of the time. NASA wishes to send a new Pioneer probe out of the solar system, laden with signed Sanderson novels instead of the traditional plaque. Brandon Sanderson turned down a Nobel Peace Prize because he was too busy writing The Way of Kings to fly all the way to Oslo. After reading the finished novel, the committee offered to mail the prize to him. Reading Brandon Sanderson novels to plants makes them grow faster. Heaven is God's personal collection of Sanderson novels and memorabilia, which the righteous are allowed to peruse after death. 39
vineyarddawg Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Reading Brandon Sanderson novels to plants makes them grow faster. This is true, but not in the way that most people think. If you read a Brandon Sanderson novel to your plants, they will grow extremely slowly for about 6 months, then one day you will wake up and see that they've turned into a fully-grown mature plant overnight. 15
AndrewStirlingMacDonald he/him Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Once, Brandon Sanderson was having trouble writing a book, so he wrote the sequel without telling anyone. This is the best thing I've ever seen. 13
Guest Posted January 12, 2015 Posted January 12, 2015 Brandon Sanderson actually invented the perfect magic system a really long time ago, but we just call it "the laws of physics." If I could up vote this twice, or more, I would.
Shaggai Posted January 13, 2015 Author Posted January 13, 2015 This is the best thing I've ever seen. In case anyone hasn't seen it
TheOneKEA Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 Brandon Sanderson wrote Words of Radiance by cutting down a tree and slicing it into sheets of paper. When he did so, the first draft of the story was already there. Brandon Sanderson already won all the Hugos, but he ran out of space to display them so he gave them away. Brandon Sanderson accidentally recorded a 16-hour Writing Excuses podcast that was so awesome it spontaneously created three Bestsellers. Brandon Sanderson doesn't need electricity to power his computer. The stories are so awesome that they warp reality and spontaneously generate electricity. The electricity he doesn't use runs the printing presses at Tor. Brandon Sanderson once walked through a bindery with a worn pencil, a single sheet of paper, and a pocket dictionary. The bindery burneD to the ground, but no one was harmed because they fled when they saw Brandon coming. 11
Curiosity he/him Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) I can't help but think that Brandon would be VERY embarrassed if he ran into this thread. He seems so grateful that people even read his books, even if they are really good. Edited January 13, 2015 by Curiosity 10
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 I think he understands. This thread has the potential to be incredibly awesome.
Popular Post TheOneKEA Posted January 13, 2015 Popular Post Posted January 13, 2015 Brandon Sanderson once made a thunderstorm change direction by threatening to write a novella that disclaimed its existence. The thunderstorm was diverted so hard that it rained out in one minute and dissipated immediately. The resulting water irrigated the entire state of Utah for a week. Brandon Sanderson had writers block once. It was the worst ten seconds of his life. Brandon Sanderson created a magic system that solved P=NP. 28
Guest Posted January 13, 2015 Posted January 13, 2015 (edited) Brandon Sanderson once Worldhopped back in time and Invested (as in Investiture) some money. The money has been responsible for every major global financial event since. Edited January 13, 2015 by inexorablePanda
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