uwu The Last Post Loses

[Verdance he/him]

Wait whats wrong @GG0z

[GG0z He/Him]

13 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

Yeah that’s a problem I have to. 
It’s like I can’t not think about every single way everything can go wrong and what I’ve done to cause it. 
 

I get this… 

I find it easy to forgive others, but impossible to forgive myself, and I find every single way Im wrong. 
One thing you could try to think is about how willing you are to accept and forgive others- then think that if you would forgive others, why not yourself? 
sorry if that made no sense 

Im not the best at words

Thanks, Star, I… that helps a lot. I think I learned to not forgive myself because of violin, and noticing all of the mistakes I make.

I still can’t words, but I’ll try. This helped a lot and I want to return the favor to you, but I don’t know how. I’ll try it, but already after seeing this, just thanks, as I don’t think the proper word exists

11 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Wait whats wrong @GG0z

Random spurt of sadness. Don’t know how else to say it. It’s been happening more and more often these last few weeks. 

Sometimes I just kinda stop caring about anything for a few hours, and it’s a bit creepy

[Conure1243 He/Him]

Is it... anywhere along the lines of being harassed for using weaponized incompetence...

When you're genuinely trying hardest?

But then you still feel bad, and don't object, because you feel like you should be better?

Edited 9 hours ago by Conure1243

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, GG0z said:

Thanks, Star, I… that helps a lot. I think I learned to not forgive myself because of violin, and noticing all of the mistakes I make.

I still can’t words, but I’ll try. This helped a lot and I want to return the favor to you, but I don’t know how. I’ll try it, but already after seeing this, just thanks, as I don’t think the proper word exists

Random spurt of sadness. Don’t know how else to say it. It’s been happening more and more often these last few weeks. 

Sometimes I just kinda stop caring about anything for a few hours, and it’s a bit creepy

Called mood swings

smol child becoming man

or smt

i have epic swordfight with puberty, puberty is winning

[GG0z He/Him]

Just now, Verdance said:

Called mood swings

smol child becoming man

or smt

i have epic swordfight with puberty, puberty is winning

It feels… more extreme than just mood swings, cause I have already experienced those

[Conure1243 He/Him]

3 minutes ago, GG0z said:

Random spurt of sadness. Don’t know how else to say it. It’s been happening more and more often these last few weeks. 

Sometimes I just kinda stop caring about anything for a few hours, and it’s a bit creepy

Oh crap sounds like my depression

Like you know you should feel incredibly horrible/stressed or smth, but you just...

feel nothing?

[GG0z He/Him]

Just now, Conure1243 said:

Oh crap sounds like my depression

Like you know you should feel incredibly horrible/stressed or smth, but you just...

feel nothing?

Yep. Exactly what it feels like for me. Just a blankness or a void.

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, GG0z said:

It feels… more extreme than just mood swings, cause I have already experienced those

Depression mood swings 

Where they add depression to the random pool of emotions the emotion monkey can pick from for no reason whatsoever other than making your life painful

[Conure1243 He/Him]

Just now, GG0z said:

Yep. Exactly what it feels like for me. Just a blankness or a void.

Oh

Ohhh.

Yeah,

I've felt like that for... years now. Sometimes months at a time

If I really knew how to help...

I probably wouldn't be struggling with it too

Edited 9 hours ago by Conure1243

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

say more

[Through The Living Star She/Her]

4 minutes ago, GG0z said:

Thanks, Star, I… that helps a lot. I think I learned to not forgive myself because of violin, and noticing all of the mistakes I make.

I still can’t words, but I’ll try. This helped a lot and I want to return the favor to you, but I don’t know how. I’ll try it, but already after seeing this, just thanks, as I don’t think the proper word exists

Random spurt of sadness. Don’t know how else to say it. It’s been happening more and more often these last few weeks. 

Sometimes I just kinda stop caring about anything for a few hours, and it’s a bit creepy

I’m really glad something I said helped. 
I definitely know what you’re going through- I’ve felt the same thing. 
just know that we care and if there is anything we can do, just let us know. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Conure1243 said:

Oh

Ohhh.

Yeah,

I've felt like that for... years now. Sometimes months at a time

If I really knew how to help...

I probably wouldn't be struggling with it too

how do you know when something relates to you and

if it's not immediately obvious does that 

mesn thst it doesn't?

[Conure1243 He/Him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

how do you know when something relates to you and

if it's not immediately obvious does that 

mesn thst it doesn't?

I don't think I fully understand what you mean...

Either way...

We have similar... base emotions? I've never believed anybody fully relates perfectly?

[Verdance he/him]

4 minutes ago, GG0z said:

Yep. Exactly what it feels like for me. Just a blankness or a void.

Familiar, sometimes

More lethargy and an arrogant unmotivatedness to do anything but the feeling is not uncommon

[Aeoryi she/her]

tw

Spoiler

I would rather, on my worst days, leave behind the world than face the present

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

im just tired rn exhissyed so i csnt tell what i feel but there's a lingering sadness or anger like i want to cry for some reason like my face is in a tense frown i think, i can feel it and idk..

[GG0z He/Him]

3 minutes ago, Conure1243 said:

Oh

Ohhh.

Yeah,

I've felt like that for... years now. Sometimes months at a time

If I really knew how to help...

I probably wouldn't be struggling with it too

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Star said:

I’m really glad something I said helped. 
I definitely know what you’re going through- I’ve felt the same thing. 
just know that we care and if there is anything we can do, just let us know. 

You are the best. All of you. Can’t think of anything else, really, but it does help, no matter what.

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

say more

I guess I have also been hating myself more and more frequently, and not liking anything I do. I could get an A for a class, and still think that I should have done better. I feel like I am always doing worse than I could be. Pretty much, my brain is screaming “do better” at me almost every day now.

Feels scary, too

[Conure1243 He/Him]

Just now, Usseewa said:

im just tired rn exhissyed so i csnt tell what i feel but there's a lingering sadness or anger like i want to cry for some reason like my face is in a tense frown i think, i can feel it and idk..

Yeah, somewhat similar...

My first time I was experiencing something like that, I felt a tiny bit of joy for months...

I hated it, because I was supposed to be stressing over the homework I had the next day...

Now I just feel slightly sad, but otherwise empty... if anything at all...

While depression is happening, I guess

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

tw

  Hide contents

I would rather, on my worst days, leave behind the world than face the present

 

In a different sense, i agree

to be trapped in the past, or be sure my hope is valid, alas

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

im just tired rn exhissyed so i csnt tell what i feel but there's a lingering sadness or anger like i want to cry for some reason like my face is in a tense frown i think, i can feel it and idk..

*sadness*
i hope you feel better

listen to some happi music

 

 

in other news even though i have graduated and have college plans that dont rely on it at all, im retaking the SAT tomorrow 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, GG0z said:

You are the best. All of you. Can’t think of anything else, really, but it does help, no matter what.

I guess I have also been hating myself more and more frequently, and not liking anything I do. I could get an A for a class, and still think that I should have done better. I feel like I am always doing worse than I could be. Pretty much, my brain is screaming “do better” at me almost every day now.

Feels scary, too

sounds kinda like perfectionism, perhaps

i have it too i think

it honestly depends, sometiems the A makes me feel good and sometimes it's just another A or i coulds done better or it doesnt matter or it was fluked or im surprised or it's too low or

lately ive tried to care less about my grades

but...

i guess i still NEED to keep them all A's.... ehich im doig i think bjt

idk

 

and like perfectionksm stops me from starting soentimes and thats another thing

[GG0z He/Him]

Just now, Conure1243 said:

Yeah, somewhat similar...

My first time I was experiencing something like that, I felt a tiny bit of joy for months...

I hated it, because I was supposed to be stressing over the homework I had the next day...

Now I just feel slightly sad, but otherwise empty... if anything at all...

While depression is happening, I guess

I also feel like I deserve to feel this way, too. Empty and a faraway sadness.

 

As in I deserve the sadness, because I have should have done better in everything

[Verdance he/him]

Yall haven’t finished school yet

[Aeoryi she/her]

well don't cling onto your sorrows. try to do things that make you happy or at least distract you more often. that'll help. 

 

[Conure1243 He/Him]

Just now, GG0z said:

I also feel like I deserve to feel this way, too. Empty and a faraway sadness.

 

I don't know what to say

But GG0z,

You do NOT deserve to feel like that.

No person deserves that!

Storms, from what I know about you, I wish I could be as cool as you!

[Through The Living Star She/Her]

1 minute ago, GG0z said:

You are the best. All of you. Can’t think of anything else, really, but it does help, no matter what.

I guess I have also been hating myself more and more frequently, and not liking anything I do. I could get an A for a class, and still think that I should have done better. I feel like I am always doing worse than I could be. Pretty much, my brain is screaming “do better” at me almost every day now.

Feels scary, too

Is it like, a crushing sense of “I need to be perfect”? Where you fixate on every mistake and problem and think “what could I have done better?” Like it’s never enough? 
that’s kind of what I have, so if it’s not, sorry if this makes no sense. 
so, the one thing that I’ve found for at least me that helps is trying to find what you did right. Like, maybe you got a really high score on a test. Or something else good. If you try to focus on the good, you’ll find less and less to criticize yourself about. 
I get that it’s not always your choice, that your head kind of circles back to it unconsciously, but just try to find the good, I guess. 

sorry if that doesn’t help 

i can’t words