Trans Hangout Thread

[KaladinTheKingOfHeralds He/Him]

Thank you for that. That’s probably the most real thing I needed to hear today. So since im a bit new and don’t know that many people, whos in this chat?

10 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

That's okay! It is, after all, entirely up to you who you want be.

Edited April 28 by KaladinTheKingOfHeralds

[Verdance he/him]

2 minutes ago, KaladinTheKingOfHeralds said:

Thank you for that. I honestly needed to hear that. So since im a bit new and don’t know that many people, whos in this chat?

Well, a lot of people. It’s flexible in population, although probably the most rigid in terms of topic, at least from my experience. 

Aeo, Usseewa, Hmmm Lies, Akimiko, are regulars from my outsider perspective 

[KaladinTheKingOfHeralds He/Him]

5 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Well, a lot of people. It’s flexible in population, although probably the most rigid in terms of topic, at least from my experience. 

Aeo, Usseewa, Hmmm Lies, Akimiko, are regulars from my outsider perspective 

I met Aeo but none of the others except for u

Edited April 28 by KaladinTheKingOfHeralds

[Hmmm lies she/her]

9 hours ago, KaladinTheKingOfHeralds said:

Thank you for that. That’s probably the most real thing I needed to hear today. So since im a bit new and don’t know that many people, whos in this chat?

Heya! I'm pretty iconic here, but less active than I used to be. Still, I read just about every message even if I don't always have time to post.

9 hours ago, KaladinTheKingOfHeralds said:

I will admit, I used to have a history of wanting to be a transfem but then I decided not to so I know what to talk about and what not to talk about that might offend yall

Respectfully, that's not exactly a very cis thought to have, at least in my experience

Apologies if I'm being too prescriptive, but I myself, when I was like 13-14 wished I was a trans girl, but thought I wasn't. I'm not trying to tell you what your identity is, but I think it's worth exploring. I wish I had that advice when I was younger...

[Akimikoisthecutest]

12 hours ago, Verdance said:

On anything. My phone, my laptop, my gmail account. Control freaks.

That's scary

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

14 hours ago, KaladinTheKingOfHeralds said:

I met Aeo but none of the others except for u

I sporadically appear and am nonbinary and baffled  (more of a lurker on here though)

Nice to meet you! How are you?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

On 4/27/2026 at 12:25 PM, Aeoryi said:

The dreaded "we need to talk about what you're doing online" conversation

oh god please no

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

In good news, my friends have started using my name!!! I'm really really really really really really really really really really really happy about this!!! It doesn't even feel weird to me, which surprised me because I thought it would take me a while to get used to, but I guess I've been calling myself it in my head for so long it feels natural? So yay! Good news here! How are y'all doing?

[Aeoryi she/her]

On 5/6/2026 at 11:47 AM, Ink and Embers said:

In good news, my friends have started using my name!!! I'm really really really really really really really really really really really happy about this!!! It doesn't even feel weird to me, which surprised me because I thought it would take me a while to get used to, but I guess I've been calling myself it in my head for so long it feels natural? So yay! Good news here! How are y'all doing?

 Congrats!

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

On 5/6/2026 at 2:47 PM, Ink and Embers said:

In good news, my friends have started using my name!!! I'm really really really really really really really really really really really happy about this!!! It doesn't even feel weird to me, which surprised me because I thought it would take me a while to get used to, but I guess I've been calling myself it in my head for so long it feels natural? So yay! Good news here! How are y'all doing?

Hey, that's great!

 

I'm still pushing off trying to get HRT

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

So yeah so I started HRT. afew weeks ago

oh it was last week huh well yes

and i think im gettting the mood swings

 

I just suddenly get very sad and feel it in my throat and how I feel when I want to cry but holding it back.

I just get sad and can... kinda identity triggers but it seems more weird like not directly caused by specific thing, or maybe yes but idk

And angry, I get angry which idk yeah...

And... idk

and its i think normal to get mood swings stuff from hrt at least at the start and maybe longer

so hopefully , and not cuz im not trans or something..

idk..

 

idk idk but idk

its hard to think its so so so hard to think because i just spiral and end up hating myself or every thought i have and i dont know what's right

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

wait guys can someone define trans for me

does it mean like not cis, or someone who fully made the transition or what

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

1 minute ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

wait guys can someone define trans for me

does it mean like not cis, or someone who fully made the transition or what

It means anyone who doesn’t use the gender/pronouns assigned at birth so I notice the he/they pronouns so if you wanted to you could consider yourself as trans bc you are genderqueer in some way

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

8 minutes ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

wait guys can someone define trans for me

does it mean like not cis, or someone who fully made the transition or what

Izzy gave a good answer.

I'll also respond to your second part. Someone can be trans and have not taken any steps at all to transition (whether socially, medically, or otherwise). It could be they just realized, they haven't realized yet, or they can't transition for certain reasons..

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 hours ago, CoderDrag0n8 said:

wait guys can someone define trans for me

does it mean like not cis, or someone who fully made the transition or what

Transgender just means that you don't identify with the gender you were assigned when you were born. I would argue that pronouns are not exclusive to being transgender; I know many, many people who use pronouns like "they" who do not identify as a gender different than that assigned at birth. 

Transition is not required to identify as trans, nor is there really a clear point at which a transition ends. Consider this: if one needs a major surgery in order to be trans, and they need to be trans to get that major surgery, how would that even work? There's really no requirement for the label transgender other than that you're not cisgender, basically.

2 hours ago, Usseewa said:

So yeah so I started HRT. afew weeks ago

oh it was last week huh well yes

and i think im gettting the mood swings

 

I just suddenly get very sad and feel it in my throat and how I feel when I want to cry but holding it back.

I just get sad and can... kinda identity triggers but it seems more weird like not directly caused by specific thing, or maybe yes but idk

And angry, I get angry which idk yeah...

And... idk

and its i think normal to get mood swings stuff from hrt at least at the start and maybe longer

so hopefully , and not cuz im not trans or something..

idk..

 

idk idk but idk

its hard to think its so so so hard to think because i just spiral and end up hating myself or every thought i have and i dont know what's right

If you're on progesterone (which is probably unlikely, but possible), it could be caused by that. In which case, you should meet with your HRT provider and discuss with them about that. 

But changes in mood and stuff is a known effect of HRT. Not a well studied one, but something that is known to happen. especially if you have drastic changes in hormones you'll probably experience mood swings (for example, if you were to stop abruptly, that would also cause mood swings). 

Fun fact: hrt doesn't actually care whether you identify as transgender to work. It just works regardless.

[Verdance he/him]

3 hours ago, Usseewa said:

Izzy gave a good answer.

I'll also respond to your second part. Someone can be trans and have not taken any steps at all to transition (whether socially, medically, or otherwise). It could be they just realized, they haven't realized yet, or they can't transition for certain reasons..

Explain hasn’t realized it yet

cause i thought that this was essentially the most subjective and individual empowering thing possible

how could someone be trans and not realize it

4 hours ago, Usseewa said:

So yeah so I started HRT. afew weeks ago

oh it was last week huh well yes

and i think im gettting the mood swings

 

I just suddenly get very sad and feel it in my throat and how I feel when I want to cry but holding it back.

I just get sad and can... kinda identity triggers but it seems more weird like not directly caused by specific thing, or maybe yes but idk

And angry, I get angry which idk yeah...

And... idk

and its i think normal to get mood swings stuff from hrt at least at the start and maybe longer

so hopefully , and not cuz im not trans or something..

idk..

 

idk idk but idk

its hard to think its so so so hard to think because i just spiral and end up hating myself or every thought i have and i dont know what's right

Also are you okay?

Why would you hate yourself right now

legitimately you have come so far, you deserve to be happy right now

[Aeoryi she/her]

8 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Explain hasn’t realized it yet

cause i thought that this was essentially the most subjective and individual empowering thing possible

how could someone be trans and not realize it

Tbh I've seen and heard a lot of trans people say that they were never cisgender even before they realized they were transgender 

[Verdance he/him]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

Tbh I've seen and heard a lot of trans people say that they were never cisgender even before they realized they were transgender 

Maybe im misinterpreting 

i have always seen it as a part of someone’s identity that is malleable 

a lot of people would say that there is only absolute truth and relative truth, but i saw this as an absolute truth relative to the person

as in, the only thing that matters is what the trans person says, that is the absolute truth, so if they once were cis and saw themselves as cis then they were cis

but apparently that’s wrong? Help me understand because this seems like i may have made a mistake or possibly disrespectful assumption 

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Verdance said:

i have always seen it as a part of someone’s identity that is malleable 

Spoiler

okay in actuality it's kinda complex

There are people who are cisgender for a good section of their life and then become transgender, because people change over time. There is no doubt about that.

However, there is also a fairly large group that simply never really formulated an opinion on their gender to begin with. Are they considered cisgender? Or do we not know that yet?

[Verdance he/him]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

  Reveal hidden contents

okay in actuality it's kinda complex

There are people who are cisgender for a good section of their life and then become transgender, because people change over time. There is no doubt about that.

However, there is also a fairly large group that simply never really formulated an opinion on their gender to begin with. Are they considered cisgender? Or do we not know that yet?

This is really complicated 

I have not met anyone of the group you mentioned but tbf geographically that makes sense 

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Verdance said:

This is really complicated 

I have not met anyone of the group you mentioned but tbf geographically that makes sense 

if it helps it's almost exclusively a retroactive kind of thing with people saying they've always been trans

[Verdance he/him]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

if it helps it's almost exclusively a retroactive kind of thing with people saying they've always been trans

Hmmm

thanks for elaborating

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

7 hours ago, Honors Spectral Image said:

It means anyone who doesn’t use the gender/pronouns assigned at birth so I notice the he/they pronouns so if you wanted to you could consider yourself as trans bc you are genderqueer in some way

7 hours ago, Usseewa said:

Izzy gave a good answer.

I'll also respond to your second part. Someone can be trans and have not taken any steps at all to transition (whether socially, medically, or otherwise). It could be they just realized, they haven't realized yet, or they can't transition for certain reasons..

Mmmmm that makes sense. Thanks for the input!

4 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

Transgender just means that you don't identify with the gender you were assigned when you were born. I would argue that pronouns are not exclusive to being transgender; I know many, many people who use pronouns like "they" who do not identify as a gender different than that assigned at birth. 

Transition is not required to identify as trans, nor is there really a clear point at which a transition ends. Consider this: if one needs a major surgery in order to be trans, and they need to be trans to get that major surgery, how would that even work? There's really no requirement for the label transgender other than that you're not cisgender, basically.

If you're on progesterone (which is probably unlikely, but possible), it could be caused by that. In which case, you should meet with your HRT provider and discuss with them about that. 

But changes in mood and stuff is a known effect of HRT. Not a well studied one, but something that is known to happen. especially if you have drastic changes in hormones you'll probably experience mood swings (for example, if you were to stop abruptly, that would also cause mood swings). 

Fun fact: hrt doesn't actually care whether you identify as transgender to work. It just works regardless.

Wait explain that to me. Someone can use they/them pronouns but still identify with gender assigned at birth?

3 hours ago, Verdance said:

Explain hasn’t realized it yet

cause i thought that this was essentially the most subjective and individual empowering thing possible

how could someone be trans and not realize it

Also are you okay?

Why would you hate yourself right now

legitimately you have come so far, you deserve to be happy right now

There is a term in the community called 'egg' which means a trans person who has not realized it yet.

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, CoderDrag0n8 said:

Wait explain that to me. Someone can use they/them pronouns but still identify with gender assigned at birth?

yeah! Pronouns are kinda like clothes. Men can wear skirts and not be trans (such as femboys (or Scottish kilts))

or the other way around! women can wear traditionally "masculine" clothing and not be trans! (such as tomboys!) 

pronouns are kinda like clothes in a way where you wear the ones that fits best for you, the ones you like best. Whether or not they correlate to gender or wvafever doesn't matter

 

[CoderDrag0n8 He/They]

15 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

yeah! Pronouns are kinda like clothes. Men can wear skirts and not be trans (such as femboys (or Scottish kilts))

or the other way around! women can wear traditionally "masculine" clothing and not be trans! (such as tomboys!) 

pronouns are kinda like clothes in a way where you wear the ones that fits best for you, the ones you like best. Whether or not they correlate to gender or wvafever doesn't matter

 

Huh. That kind of... confuses me. But I guess that makes sense. Huh.