Trans Hangout Thread

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

  Hide contents

she's built incorrectly 

 

 

Spoiler

is that a yes or no? or maybe

 

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

  Hide contents

is that a yes or no? or maybe

 

no

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

no

oh

well is the game suposed to be somehwat depressing but mainly creepy and lonely but also wholesome?

and idk why but the game makes me feel both loved and lonely

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

oh

well is the game suposed to be somehwat depressing but mainly creepy and lonely but also wholesome?

It's whatever you want 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

It's whatever you want 

okie

[Hmmm lies she/her]

30 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

okie

Oh, chapter 3 is a pretty big jump in difficulty, good luck. (Took me over 300 deaths on my first playthrough, although I was like 10-12 at the time) 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

37 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Oh, chapter 3 is a pretty big jump in difficulty, good luck. (Took me over 300 deaths on my first playthrough, although I was like 10-12 at the time) 

...

chapter one took me like close to 900 death

chapter 2 was like 300 or 400.

I think i'm on ch 3?

Spoiler

the hotel?

 

's so funnnn

i is finally getting used to the controls uwu

Spoiler

damn this creepy guy is definitely insane lol

 

Spoiler

TRAAAANNNSSSSS

 

uwu i have 1606 deaths already :3

not finished ch. 3 yet

Edited March 30 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

50 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

...

chapter one took me like close to 900 death

chapter 2 was like 300 or 400.

I think i'm on ch 3?

  Reveal hidden contents

the hotel?

 

's so funnnn

i is finally getting used to the controls uwu

  Hide contents

damn this creepy guy is definitely insane lol

 

  Hide contents

TRAAAANNNSSSSS

 

uwu i have 1606 deaths already :3

not finished ch. 3 yet

I have... So many more... chapter three is hard though.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

uwu i have 1606 deaths already :3

Well the way I see it, that's persistence! I know people who'd probably give up after like 50.

Chapter 2 is probably my favorite of the ones you've seen so far, but the whole game is so peak. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

18 hours ago, Hmmm lies said:

Well the way I see it, that's persistence! I know people who'd probably give up after like 50.

Chapter 2 is probably my favorite of the ones you've seen so far, but the whole game is so peak. 

yeah true :3

yeah that one was pretty fire

 

Edit:
 

@Aeoryi

(Celeste spoilers)

Spoiler

Uh-oh, there's a mirror!

 

Edited March 30 by Usseewa

[Keke They/he]

Ugh

i feel super dysphoric 

i hate it

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

7 minutes ago, Through the living keigs said:

Ugh

i feel super dysphoric 

i hate it

*hugs a lot*

anything u needa talk abt or anything?

dysphoria sucks

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

22 minutes ago, Through the living keigs said:

Ugh

i feel super dysphoric 

i hate it

*hugs*

*hugs*

*hugs*

Spoiler

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs*

 

[Keke They/he]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

*hugs a lot*

anything u needa talk abt or anything?

dysphoria sucks

Algh i just need like masc validation 

55 minutes ago, Through the Living Ink said:

*hugs*

*hugs*

*hugs*

  Reveal hidden contents

*hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs* *hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs**hugs*

 

*Hugs hugs hugs hugs*

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

bro my pfp is giving me dysphoria i think

dammitall

 

it was a decent aprilfools but it makes me uncomfortable so..

[Keke They/he]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

bro my pfp is giving me dysphoria i think

dammitall

 

it was a decent aprilfools but it makes me uncomfortable so..

Oof *hugs*

yeah im not gonna use my chando art cause it did the same thing 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Through the living keigs said:

Oof *hugs*

yeah im not gonna use my chando art cause it did the same thing 

yah fr

ima prolly leave it blank for an hour or so till i can change it back to normal

cuz using taln's prolly counts as impersonation 

[Keke They/he]

Just now, Usseewa said:

yah fr

ima prolly leave it blank for an hour or so till i can change it back to normal

cuz using taln's prolly counts as impersonation 

Yeah *hugs*

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

bro my pfp is giving me dysphoria i think

dammitall

 

it was a decent aprilfools but it makes me uncomfortable so..

Do you want me to give you a pfp?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

Do you want me to give you a pfp?

thx for the offer but I'll just reput my old one when i get the chance

 

actually maybe for april fools, actually 

[Ink and Embers Any pronouns]

So, uh, I came out to five of my friends a month and a bit ago and asked them if they could use my chosen name while we were together, and it's been a month and they haven't. I get what they're doing because we don't actually see each other much when there aren't other people around, but there have been a few times now when there really is no one else and they deadname me anyway.

I know they're being careful because they interact with my family a bunch and my family aren't great with trans folk, especially enbies, but I feel like they've forgotten. Despite being out for over a month, I've never actually been called my chosen name to my face, which feels kind of painful. I don't know what to do because on one hand I'm glad they aren't calling me my chosen name because it means others are less likely to find out, but on the other hand, I really wish they would. I was so happy when I came out but it feels like nothing's changed, or if anything it's worse because now the deadnaming is active.

I just don't know what to do or say. It happened. I'm changing schools soon and hopefully people there will be less in contact with my family so I can tell more people. We'll see. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Okay guys so do you mind sharing like what experience(s) or thoughts or something helped you realize (confidently) that you are trans? Like what helped with the doubts? Even if you still have them, how did you move past them enough to like idk. (sorry for potentially weird/confusing wording.)

 

10 minutes ago, Ink and Embers said:

So, uh, I came out to five of my friends a month and a bit ago and asked them if they could use my chosen name while we were together, and it's been a month and they haven't. I get what they're doing because we don't actually see each other much when there aren't other people around, but there have been a few times now when there really is no one else and they deadname me anyway.

I know they're being careful because they interact with my family a bunch and my family aren't great with trans folk, especially enbies, but I feel like they've forgotten. Despite being out for over a month, I've never actually been called my chosen name to my face, which feels kind of painful. I don't know what to do because on one hand I'm glad they aren't calling me my chosen name because it means others are less likely to find out, but on the other hand, I really wish they would. I was so happy when I came out but it feels like nothing's changed, or if anything it's worse because now the deadnaming is active.

I just don't know what to do or say. It happened. I'm changing schools soon and hopefully people there will be less in contact with my family so I can tell more people. We'll see. 

I 100% have had this experience, unfortunately. I'm not sure if they, like, actually believe I'm trans despite all the supportive comments that were maybe just false platitudes (is that the right term?) They haven't used any pronouns or name to my face or around me, though one time they slipped up but corrected it to say like "your" instead of "his" or something (it's been a bit so I forget the exact words). They also... deadname me "behind my back" (other people have told me that this person deadnames me when talking to them about me). They could just be trying to be careful or whatever like you said, but I highly doubt it. And why avoid pronouns and names entirely to me? Maybe they're uncomfortable? But they don't have... a great... history or whatever.

Honestly I kinda feel similarly to you with like one or two decently close people, including the one I mentioned above. I would try bringing it up and asking them to use your new name, and saying how it really doesn't make you feel good to you. If they're uncomfortable from your name or something, it's my opinion that they kinda need to get over it/deal with it because your uncomfortable too and like you matter, you know? Like remind them or something. Sometimes it can help to hear it from the person (in this case, you). Like, I'll reluctantly admit that I sort of had(/have?) this experience also but from the other side. I don't know what it is but it just felt... sort of like a bystander effect I guess. Idk. Like maybe they're waiting for the other person to use your name or something, which will never happen because they're too waiting. Maybe this is wrong idk. Also it doesn't excuse it imo. Just saying idk. I'm not rlly proud of it either.

Changing schools sounds good, I'm happy (as long as I read this right, and you're happy about changing schools?)

Edited April 10 by Usseewa

[Aeoryi she/her]

50 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Okay guys so do you mind sharing like what experience(s) or thoughts or something helped you realize (confidently) that you are trans? Like what helped with the doubts? Even if you still have them, how did you move past them enough to like idk. (sorry for potentially weird/confusing wording.

1. You are not portraying the characteristics of being trans because you identify with the label, the label identifies with you because of your characteristics. Even if you were to suddenly be yanked of the trans label you'd still be interested in the same things and at that point does it even matter? Nah. 

2. Wanting to be trans means that you are trans by definition. 

3. Being frustrated with a part of yourself that you cannot change implies that you are not faking it and thus have no control over it; you can hate being trans because it is a part of yourself that you cannot change. 

4. Worrying about whether you are or aren't is futile.

I do hoped this helped though

I have more too

Edited April 10 by Aeoryi

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

18 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

1. You are not portraying the characteristics of being trans because you identify with the label, the label identifies with you because of your characteristics. Even if you were to suddenly be yanked of the trans label you'd still be interested in the same things and at that point does it even matter? Nah. 

2. Wanting to be trans means that you are trans by definition. 

3. Being frustrated with a part of yourself that you cannot change implies that you are not faking it and thus have no control over it; you can hate being trans because it is a part of yourself that you cannot change. 

4. Worrying about whether you are or aren't is futile.

 

Not sure if this means anything, but I've (somewhat secretly) always wanted to be a "cute anime"... person. At the time my mind was cute anime guy, but yk. Honestly the image I had in my head was probably more androgynous or something, idk. Then this one time I got a pfp but didn't really like it probably because it was too masculine tbh. Anyway uhhh

(Also I don't mean "cute anime" in an unrealistic sense, not really. Lile I've met some people I'd... like to look more like, if that makes sense.)

(Okay maybe slightly unrealistic but tbh I don't know what people can look like irl cuz I avoid looking at people sometimes to avoid seeming weird or something.)

 

1. I can have trouble identifying what characteristics are what, and sometimes I'm like "what does gender even meeeaaannnnnn!!" Also, "interests" can be hard to define for me. Like, how do I know what I actually enjoy and heat I'm doing cuz I'm "supposed to" to "fit in" or whatever. It seems like you're trying to stress this point, but I'm really sorry I kinda don't get it. The label and identify thing.

2. It seems like lots of people (*cough* gdb *cough* reddit *cough*) say stuff like "cis people don't question their gender" or something. It just doesn't seem like that could be right tho, like is it really that simple? I'd think cis people question their gender, at least for a bit. For me, I tend to think about stuff for longer sometimes though.

2.5. For me it's hard to define why exactly I want to be a girl, and so then if I even do. Like when I "imagine myself as a girl," what will change (socially)? Will I be more socially-comfortable or outgoing or whatever? I want to be. I want to be friendly (or, more friendly?) and comfortable and idk. Also, I... don't really have many cis "role models" or examples in my life. So.. how do I know what it's like to be a woman and what about it I want? Also, a bit separate perhaps, but I struggle to think of how something made me feel in the past. Like when I remember some of the times people called me a male or whatever pre-transition, how do I remember how that made me feel? Because what I "should" have felt was uncomfortable or something, right? But how do I remember if I did or not?

3. I don't think I hate being trans, except perhaps in the sense of "I'll never truly be a cis woman." I do, however think I was in the past and maybe still am frustrated that I.. can't really change my body. But, not perhaps in a straightforward dysphoric way, at least not in mindset. Like, as I said I always wanted to look/be cute, but only had some rare moments when I looked in the mirror and my hair looked just right and the clothing looked nice and... cough probably no facialhair cough. Speaking of facial hair, my face always felt, like, "dirty" or something when I needed to shave. Idk. I have this one photo of me from idk a year or two ago where I actually kinda like how I look. Then there's this other one that makes me want to puke, and did at the time as well. Also... I've never really tried to be stereotypically masculine, though that's not necessarily "a sign," right? I did actually, a few times, but looking back they might've just been performative or something, trying to reinforce "I'm male... hehe" or whatever. Other than that, I mean I was never into, like, weightlifting or anything like that (to build muscles). I might've felt like I should/had to though? I need to think on that more. Though for some reason I always, uhm, wanted to be... thin/skinny/slim/not bulky, though not necessarily overly so. Just not big and muscular, or whatever. Idk. I do remember.. when I made my intro post here on the Shard, someone I think "misgendered" me (at the time, I... was identifying as male anyway, and that person used he/him pronouns for me), and to be fair I didn't even have any pronouns displayed (cuz I didn't want to). But I just didn't like it. I didn't point it out or anything, probably cuz it was unnecessary, but I just tried to laugh it off to myself kinda. Yeah. Idk I just feel like I'm trying to prove I'm trans, to myself. This is the kinda stuff the HRT ppl wanna hear, I think. And myself. I also fear the echo chamber... Okay so I remember something. Back when I was younger, and even recently too, I'm fairly sure I wanted to be placed with girls in, like groups/teams/projects etc., like at school and other places. I also had or thought I had crushes on people at different times, and when I had a crush I obviously wanted to be grouped with that person, but yeah. Is it, uhm, weird that I've always been interested in... the female body? Like idk, how it's different from the male one, you know. Growing up I was kinda too scared to ask some of these questions though, so yeah. Anywho... idk how far we can stray into that territory... I guess I felt like I should know this stuff (and maybe ppl should anyway idk) but yeah idk. Also I kinda uhh always worried/thought something was wrong with me mentally but never brought it up to anyone.

4. Yep.. It's just hard to not worry, idk.

 

 

(sorry, this kinda ended up being a long post somehow)

(thanks)

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

Not sure if this means anything, but I've (somewhat secretly) always wanted to be a "cute anime"... person. At the time my mind was cute anime guy, but yk. Honestly the image I had in my head was probably more androgynous or something, idk. Then this one time I got a pfp but didn't really like it probably because it was too masculine tbh. Anyway uhhh

Ok fair. probably have had similar experiences

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

1. I can have trouble identifying what characteristics are what, and sometimes I'm like "what does gender even meeeaaannnnnn!!" Also, "interests" can be hard to define for me. Like, how do I know what I actually enjoy and heat I'm doing cuz I'm "supposed to" to "fit in" or whatever. It seems like you're trying to stress this point, but I'm really sorry I kinda don't get it. The label and identify thing.

ok here's a good example if someone wants estrogen is that because they identify as trans or do they just want estrogen because that's what would make them more comfortable with their own body? 

Like what do you want to wear? Just wear that! Who cares what you are! Just do what makes you happy. What you would like. 

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

2. It seems like lots of people (*cough* gdb *cough* reddit *cough*) say stuff like "cis people don't question their gender" or something. It just doesn't seem like that could be right tho, like is it really that simple? I'd think cis people question their gender, at least for a bit. For me, I tend to think about stuff for longer sometimes though.

cis can refer to:
a) those who have never questioned their gender and are this assuming what they were assigned at birth
b) those who have questioned their gender and decided they are content with the gender they were assigned at birth

It's interchangeably used with both definitions.

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

2.5. For me it's hard to define why exactly I want to be a girl, and so then if I even do. Like when I "imagine myself as a girl," what will change (socially)? Will I be more socially-comfortable or outgoing or whatever? I want to be. I want to be friendly (or, more friendly?) and comfortable and idk. Also, I... don't really have many cis "role models" or examples in my life. So.. how do I know what it's like to be a woman and what about it I want? Also, a bit separate perhaps, but I struggle to think of how something made me feel in the past. Like when I remember some of the times people called me a male or whatever pre-transition, how do I remember how that made me feel? Because what I "should" have felt was uncomfortable or something, right? But how do I remember if I did or not?

This is a good thought but it doesn't answer the argument. What do you think it means?

1 hour ago, Usseewa said:

3. I don't think I hate being trans, except perhaps in the sense of "I'll never truly be a cis woman." I do, however think I was in the past and maybe still am frustrated that I.. can't really change my body. But, not perhaps in a straightforward dysphoric way, at least not in mindset. Like, as I said I always wanted to look/be cute, but only had some rare moments when I looked in the mirror and my hair looked just right and the clothing looked nice and... cough probably no facialhair cough. Speaking of facial hair, my face always felt, like, "dirty" or something when I needed to shave. Idk. I have this one photo of me from idk a year or two ago where I actually kinda like how I look. Then there's this other one that makes me want to puke, and did at the time as well. Also... I've never really tried to be stereotypically masculine, though that's not necessarily "a sign," right? I did actually, a few times, but looking back they might've just been performative or something, trying to reinforce "I'm male... hehe" or whatever. Other than that, I mean I was never into, like, weightlifting or anything like that (to build muscles). I might've felt like I should/had to though? I need to think on that more.

I think you're... not getting the point here. 

I also want to add that not every cis guy is into hyper masculine things... most people are probably uncomfortable with being pressured into engaging with that stereotype

Quote

Though for some reason I always, uhm, wanted to be... thin/skinny/slim/not bulky, though not necessarily overly so. Just not big and muscular, or whatever. Idk. I do remember.. when I made my intro post here on the Shard, someone I think "misgendered" me (at the time, I... was identifying as male anyway, and that person used he/him pronouns for me), and to be fair I didn't even have any pronouns displayed (cuz I didn't want to). But I just didn't like it. I didn't point it out or anything, probably cuz it was unnecessary, but I just tried to laugh it off to myself kinda. Yeah. Idk I just feel like I'm trying to prove I'm trans, to myself. This is the kinda stuff the HRT ppl wanna hear, I think. And myself. I also fear the echo chamber... Okay so I remember something. Back when I was younger, and even recently too, I'm fairly sure I wanted to be placed with girls in, like groups/teams/projects etc., like at school and other places. I also had or thought I had crushes on people at different times, and when I had a crush I obviously wanted to be grouped with that person, but yeah. Is it, uhm, weird that I've always been interested in... the female body? Like idk, how it's different from the male one, you know. Growing up I was kinda too scared to ask some of these questions though, so yeah. Anywho... idk how far we can stray into that territory... I guess I felt like I should know this stuff (and maybe ppl should anyway idk) but yeah idk. Also I kinda uhh always worried/thought something was wrong with me mentally but never brought it up to anyone.

yeah well that's... indicative of something. But my point moreso is that if you've ever tried to, per say, fix yourself because you think you're broken for being Trans