Trans Hangout Thread

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

Yes this

 

 

 

Also, unrelated, but actually putting on nail polish and not removing it is probably the best thing I've done so far - I might even go to school with like, hyper pink nails tomorrow 

(I know I've said this thrice but I wanted to emphasize how awesome it is)

I recommend school! its epic.

im very happy 4 u :3

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Theory said:

I recommend school! its epic.

im very happy 4 u :3

I might put on some less pink color though...

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

4 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

I might put on some less pink color though...

Maybe, whatever makes u comfortable :3

 

Guess what!!! I wore a fairly girly outfit (or at least a stylish one) and someone (a stranger) complimented it! She said she loved it! Made me feel good :3

 

edit: why do I keep reading "fairly" as "fairy" lol

Edited January 28 by Theory

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

(edit: I'm Lily, btw. I just changed my pfp and username.)

 

Since it's been like a day...

Does anyone kinda feel like they "wasted" their childhood? Like they didn't do everything they could've? I mean I barely had any friends. I didn't really do sports (except once). I think I had a friend over once...idk. Idk...I guess..., do ppl even do things during their childhood? Maybe not. Hopefully I'm not wasting my life rn. I still got that feeling though. I say "got" because it was recent (past few months), but I don't necessarily feel it now. Like I should be doing stuff, but instead I...don't. And then the days go by. Yet another day, little-to-nothing accomplished. Not doing any of the goals I wanted to. Procrastinating. Being here on the forum when no one else is. And when was the last time I read? I haven't read in...weeks. At least not more than a chapter. I mean, I wasn't feeling depressed. But maybe I am now? Or I'm just using this as a journal/vent? When am I gonna do stuff? Maybe soon. And (school)work... Why. And why are the weeks so long? How is it only Wednesday? And then I waste my precious time trying to beat a highscore. At least I did something today. But only because I had to. And I have another thing to do, which I should instead of writing this. Also I feel like I'm just making myself depressed. I probably am. Or at least anxious. Or something. I need things to do in my free time/procrastination time aside from 17S. Ughh. It's not like I can tonight though, for I gotta read something...

At least I got another outfit compliment today. That was nice.

Maybe I just need a little time to get adjusted.

Oh Almighty, I am not looking forward to a certain thing(s)...

I have ideas—great ones, in my opinion—but am not acting on them. I was. Before. Ugh. At least I have the Shard. You guys are awesome. I hope. Hopefully I'm awesome too..

I also talked to some people a little today. That was cool. I felt kinda comfortable around them.

I've hoped people would, like, say "wrong bathroom" when I walk into the.........men's room......but they don't. And probably wouldn't. Yeah.

What am I? Like..yeah.

Idk if this is even suited for this thread but wtvr..

Also I hate my voice. If anyone actually thinks I'm a woman, and then I speak, what will they think?

Anyway I'ma get to work I guess. See you in like an hour or two or three or less if I break.

 

Edit: clearly that didn't last. Since I still feel feelings and can't focus that much, I'll add new thoughts-thought to this. If I can remember them...

Oh yeah

So, I want to feel emotions—strong ones. I guess I'm just choosing the wrong ones (anger, anxiety, depression, etc.)

Though I was feeling, like, extra-happy in the past few days, but now I'm exhibiting signs of anxiety.

I want to like be emotional and stuff? Anyway maybe Ado is having a bad influence on me.

 

@Aeoryi pls

Edited January 29 by Usseewa

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

25 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

(edit: I'm Lily, btw. I just changed my pfp and username.)

 

Since it's been like a day...

Does anyone kinda feel like they "wasted" their childhood? Like they didn't do everything they could've? I mean I barely had any friends. I didn't really do sports (except once). I think I had a friend over once...idk. Idk...I guess..., do ppl even do things during their childhood? Maybe not. Hopefully I'm not wasting my life rn. I still got that feeling though. I say "got" because it was recent (past few months), but I don't necessarily feel it now. Like I should be doing stuff, but instead I...don't. And then the days go by. Yet another day, little-to-nothing accomplished. Not doing any of the goals I wanted to. Procrastinating. Being here on the forum when no one else is. And when was the last time I read? I haven't read in...weeks. At least not more than a chapter. I mean, I wasn't feeling depressed. But maybe I am now? Or I'm just using this as a journal/vent? When am I gonna do stuff? Maybe soon. And (school)work... Why. And why are the weeks so long? How is it only Wednesday? And then I waste my precious time trying to beat a highscore. At least I did something today. But only because I had to. And I have another thing to do, which I should instead of writing this. Also I feel like I'm just making myself depressed. I probably am. Or at least anxious. Or something. I need things to do in my free time/procrastination time aside from 17S. Ughh. It's not like I can tonight though, for I gotta read something...

At least I got another outfit compliment today. That was nice.

Maybe I just need a little time to get adjusted.

Oh Almighty, I am not looking forward to a certain thing(s)...

I have ideas—great ones, in my opinion—but am not acting on them. I was. Before. Ugh. At least I have the Shard. You guys are awesome. I hope. Hopefully I'm awesome too..

I also talked to some people a little today. That was cool. I felt kinda comfortable around them.

I've hoped people would, like, say "wrong bathroom" when I walk into the.........men's room......but they don't. And probably wouldn't. Yeah.

What am I? Like..yeah.

Idk if this is even suited for this thread but wtvr..

Also I hate my voice. If anyone actually thinks I'm a woman, and then I speak, what will they think?

Anyway I'ma get to work I guess. See you in like an hour or two or three or less if I break.

 

Edit: clearly that didn't last. Since I still feel feelings and can't focus that much, I'll add new thoughts-thought to this. If I can remember them...

Oh yeah

So, I want to feel emotions—strong ones. I guess I'm just choosing the wrong ones (anger, anxiety, depression, etc.)

Though I was feeling, like, extra-happy in the past few days, but now I'm exhibiting signs of anxiety.

I want to like be emotional and stuff? Anyway maybe Ado is having a bad influence on me.

 

@Aeoryi pls

I’m sitting in my room wasting my childhood rn

[Aeoryi she/her]

Today someone asked me if I was the "femboy dreams kid" and I mean I didn't say no

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

Today someone asked me if I was the "femboy dreams kid" and I mean I didn't say no

?

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

?

When I was in psych I talked about my weirdest dream which was when I wore a skirt and I remembered it because it was neat and then the people I told it to said I had hidden femboy desires for the rest of the year

and that was last semester, so when someone asked me about it I was shocked and then they said "oh, you aren't a femboy, right?" And I said "no comment"

90% sure she thinks I'm a femboy now

29 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Also I hate my voice. If anyone actually thinks I'm a woman, and then I speak, what will they think?

Androgenous range is fairly lenient tbh it's all about the confidence.

30 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Does anyone kinda feel like they "wasted" their childhood? Like they didn't do everything they could've? I mean I barely had any friends. I didn't really do sports (except once). I think I had a friend over once...idk. Idk...I guess..., do ppl even do things during their childhood? Maybe not. Hopefully I'm not wasting my life rn. I still got that feeling though. I say "got" because it was recent (past few months), but I don't necessarily feel it now. Like I should be doing stuff, but instead I...don't. And then the days go by. Yet another day, little-to-nothing accomplished. Not doing any of the goals I wanted to. Procrastinating. Being here on the forum when no one else is. And when was the last time I read? I haven't read in...weeks. At least not more than a chapter. I mean, I wasn't feeling depressed. But maybe I am now? Or I'm just using this as a journal/vent? When am I gonna do stuff? Maybe soon. And (school)work... Why. And why are the weeks so long? How is it only Wednesday? And then I waste my precious time trying to beat a highscore. At least I did something today. But only because I had to. And I have another thing to do, which I should instead of writing this. Also I feel like I'm just making myself depressed. I probably am. Or at least anxious. Or something. I need things to do in my free time/procrastination time aside from 17S. Ughh. It's not like I can tonight though, for I gotta read something...

At least I got another outfit compliment today. That wa

I would say no moment of my life was wasted. Every second of your life is important, no matter how little or how much value it has.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

6 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

When I was in psych

I never took psych cuz it'd probably give me horrible anxiety.

7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

femboy

Femboy is like...feminine boy? Or wtvr?

8 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Androgenous range is fairly lenient tbh it's all about the confidence.

I'm not confident in my voice. I hate it and avoid speaking sometimes. Also I doubt it sounds at all feminine. It probably sounds like-

9 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I would say no moment of my life was wasted. Every second of your life is important, no matter how little or how much value it has.

I guess...

But what about days and weeks and months?

 

Anyways ima go workoutandshowerandthenreadthatstupidreadingthing

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

never took psych cuz it'd probably give me horrible anxiety

It intrigued me being honest 

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

Femboy is like...feminine boy? Or wtvr?

Femboy is a term that has been rising in usage recently that generally tends to be an identity for effeminate boys (check it out on wikipedia)

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I'm not confident in my voice. I hate it and avoid speaking sometimes. Also I doubt it sounds at all feminine. It probably sounds like-

my voice is garbage ok testosterone screws with your voice so much

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

But what about days and weeks and months?

How exactly does one "waste" time? Do you waste time not doing things you might value later? Do you waste time doing things you regret in hindsight? Do you waste time by doing nothing at all? 

every moment is an experience you get to have. Even if, by metrics made by others, you are not spending your time wisely, at least you get to have that time to exist. That's valuable enough.

Is the shard a waste of time for me? I don't know if it's that clear cut. Other people don't see it the same way I do, so to them it seems obviously useless. They don't place their personal value on a forum. But for me, I can recognize all the things that the shard gave me- negotion skills, people skills, how to interact with rules, creating characters that have depth, and story. I think that a lot of the aspects about myself that I do like can be traced partially to the shard. Is it a waste of time to me? I don't know. 

 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

It intrigued me being honest 

Femboy is a term that has been rising in usage recently that generally tends to be an identity for effeminate boys (check it out on wikipedia)

my voice is garbage ok testosterone screws with your voice so much

How exactly does one "waste" time? Do you waste time not doing things you might value later? Do you waste time doing things you regret in hindsight? Do you waste time by doing nothing at all? 

every moment is an experience you get to have. Even if, by metrics made by others, you are not spending your time wisely, at least you get to have that time to exist. That's valuable enough.

Is the shard a waste of time for me? I don't know if it's that clear cut. Other people don't see it the same way I do, so to them it seems obviously useless. They don't place their personal value on a forum. But for me, I can recognize all the things that the shard gave me- negotion skills, people skills, how to interact with rules, creating characters that have depth, and story. I think that a lot of the aspects about myself that I do like can be traced partially to the shard. Is it a waste of time to me? I don't know. 

 

maybe its not doing what i think i should (and think i want) to. maybe input too much pressure on myself sometimes. idk

and the shard is practically the only time i interact with ppl (like, actually interact. not sitting through a lecture or something.)

for psych i was honestly interested in it but still

i hate the concept of having a limited life and maybe not being able to do everything u want to. a decent amount of my depressed times stem from pondering death/life. ive gone to bed several times feeling depressed or maybe even crying idk cuz that. luckily not right now.

i like the shard but've been taught to see basically any form of social media as bad and wasteful. but what if its the only way i get human interaction? (aside from family. which then decreases as i spend more time online...)

and once in a while i get sick (not physically) from online

yah

[Aeoryi she/her]

15 hours ago, Usseewa said:

and once in a while i get sick (not physically) from online

limit yourself

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Why dies facial hair have to both be a thing and grow back so fast 

anyway

im writing this with a nosebleed lol

7 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

limit yourself

I guess...but i don't have much else to do outside of on my phone or computer (which includes writing)

i should rlly get back into reading...

maybe continue that book now that im not rly depressed. not currently.

how've y'all been?

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

Why dies facial hair have to both be a thing and grow back so fast 

anyway

im writing this with a nosebleed lol

I guess...but i don't have much else to do outside of on my phone or computer (which includes writing)

i should rlly get back into reading...

maybe continue that book now that im not rly depressed. not currently.

how've y'all been?

If I were you I would pick a project that you can do on your own time and is fun, for me that’s two things 1. World building and drawing maps and history for a world I’m making 2. I’m using a big dry erase board to summarize the history of the cosmere basically

Or go on a hike or a walk I prefer hikes bc they’re away from people

If your in America I’m sure you can find at least a state park nearby if not a national one, being outside helps me feel alive

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Honors Ghost said:

If I were you I would pick a project that you can do on your own time and is fun, for me that’s two things 1. World building and drawing maps and history for a world I’m making 2. I’m using a big dry erase board to summarize the history of the cosmere basically

Or go on a hike or a walk I prefer hikes bc they’re away from people

If your in America I’m sure you can find at least a state park nearby if not a national one, being outside helps me feel alive

I have projects, kinda, but don't continue them. For coding, I always have like 10 things I wanna do and rarely finish something (if I even start it)

Also I haven't coded in a while

I don't like going outside. At least didn't. Also it's too cold rn

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

1 minute ago, Usseewa said:

I have projects, kinda, but don't continue them. For coding, I always have like 10 things I wanna do and rarely finish something (if I even start it)

Also I haven't coded in a while

I don't like going outside. At least didn't. Also it's too cold rn

Hmmm, idk then i also have multiple projects going on and I rarely finish them but they’re fun to work on anyways, and I can’t believe you don’t like going outside smh (jk not judging) it’s one of my favorite things, I sit outside for at least five minutes every night before I go to bed

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Honors Ghost said:

Hmmm, idk then i also have multiple projects going on and I rarely finish them but they’re fun to work on anyways, and I can’t believe you don’t like going outside smh (jk not judging) it’s one of my favorite things, I sit outside for at least five minutes every night before I go to bed

That sounds nice... and healthy...

Ur weather is probably better.

Sometimes I make myself anxious and stuff because I have too much I want to do but don't do any of it.

[Akimikoisthecutest]

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

I have projects, kinda, but don't continue them. For coding, I always have like 10 things I wanna do and rarely finish something (if I even start it)

 

 

 

Spoiler

 

Edited January 29 by Akimikoisthecutest

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Akimikoisthecutest said:

 

Spoiler

 

ftfy

Huh lol

Ive been a programmer for yeaarssss

longer than u've been alive

nah jk

but a long time

or at least interested in programming -related stuff

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

3 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

That sounds nice... and healthy...

Ur weather is probably better.

Sometimes I make myself anxious and stuff because I have too much I want to do but don't do any of it.

Nurp it’s snowing it’s totally not safe but it helps me sleep

[Akimikoisthecutest]

2 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

longer than u've been alive

 

How long do you think I've been alive for?

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

How long do you think I've been alive for?

Nice try

Edited January 29 by Usseewa

[Akimikoisthecutest]

Just now, Usseewa said:

Nice try

Longer than you unless you've been lying or something.

???

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Akimikoisthecutest said:

???

I assume you're referring to "nice try"? I say that sometimes when someone asks for personal info. Not always tho since their intent is (probably) not (always) malicious.

If you mean the second part...I assume you mean "unless you've been lying"? I mean unless ur not actually what you said you are (based on what you've said, you are in either in high school or younger.)

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

Just now, Usseewa said:

I assume you're referring to "nice try"? I say that sometimes when someone asks for personal info. Not always tho since their intent is (probably) not (always) malicious.

If you mean the second part...I assume you mean "unless you've been lying"? I mean unless ur not actually what you said you are (based on what you've said, you are in either in high school or younger.)

There’s no way your older than fifteen