Trans Hangout Thread

[Hmmm lies she/her]

5 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

wow you did so much more stuff than I did before getting HRT that's crazy

the more I think about it the less of a chance I think I have which sucks because things are like only going to get worse 

Wait wdym? What did I do that you haven't?

[Aeoryi she/her]

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Wait wdym? What did I do that you haven't?

You mentioned

Quote

 You've changed my legal name and gender, been using she/her pronouns for a long time now, bought me plenty of fem clothes, are actively trying to change my name in Social Security, and bring me to the RYA thing. 

that's like, much farther than I have gone tbh

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Anyone else like dance and shake their hips and spin around sometimes? I guess I'm just happy rn for some reason idk why. And listening to cool/upbeat music.

5 hours ago, Aeoryi said:

wow you did so much more stuff than I did before getting HRT that's crazy

the more I think about it the less of a chance I think I have which sucks because things are like only going to get worse 

Everyone goes at their own pace, no? You shouldn't, like, compare yourselves to others. At least not like this. I guess.

Edited January 26 by Theory

[Aeoryi she/her]

13 minutes ago, Theory said:

Anyone else like dance and shake their hips and spin around sometimes? I guess I'm just happy rn for some reason idk why. And listening to cool/upbeat music.

Everyone goes at their own pace, no? You shouldn't, like, compare yourselves to others. At least not like this. I guess.

Yeah, but there's a point at which your going... Too fast.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Yeah, but there's a point at which your going... Too fast.

Huh? ...like me...?

also wdym 

and was that in response to the first or second para?

Edited January 26 by Theory

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Theory said:

Huh? ...like me...?

also wdym 

and was that in response to the first or second para?

Second one 

I kinda think I'm either not moving fast enough or not having it take long enough idk which

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

Second one 

I kinda think I'm either not moving fast enough or not having it take long enough idk which

Yeah, it can be hard. I think I struggle with that a little too. I mean....,idk ehat i mean im listening to a fire song tho so i cant think

ur gonna do hrt right?

u could always like talk to ur siblings idk. u said two would be supportive right?

[Aeoryi she/her]

7 minutes ago, Theory said:

Yeah, it can be hard. I think I struggle with that a little too. I mean....,idk ehat i mean im listening to a fire song tho so i cant think

ur gonna do hrt right?

u could always like talk to ur siblings idk. u said two would be supportive right?

yeah but I have to get my parents on board. It's a requirement. 

and I'm afraid this might be when they say no.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

yeah but I have to get my parents on board. It's a requirement. 

and I'm afraid this might be when they say no.

Are u 18 yet? I think you might not need their consent if so, idk.

[Aeoryi she/her]

1 minute ago, Theory said:

Are u 18 yet? I think you might not need their consent if so, idk.

I need to be 19 where I live to be considered provincially an adult, since provincial government deal with healthcare. So that's not an option.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

I need to be 19 where I live to be considered provincially an adult, since provincial government deal with healthcare. So that's not an option.

Oh..

Well...maybe...just ask ur parents? If ur ready. Idk tbh, srry. We should do a body-swap...

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Theory said:

Oh..

Well...maybe...just ask ur parents? If ur ready. Idk tbh, srry. We should do a body-swap...

idk. I just. Don't know if I can trust my parents (or in this case, just my mom). Well, I think I can trust them, but like, not with everything

I wish I could just ask my parents but like it's... incredibly difficult for me to do that and it takes so much courage to talk to them about anything 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

Just now, Aeoryi said:

idk. I just. Don't know if I can trust my parents (or in this case, just my mom). Well, I think I can trust them, but like, not with everything

I wish I could just ask my parents but like it's... incredibly difficult for me to do that and it takes so much courage to talk to them about anything 

Well...maybe like just type out a text and then hit send without thinking but then turn off ur phone and shove it under the covers or smth. And don't look. Maybe till it buzzes. Idk.

Soo...lemme get this straight (gay), u trust ur mom more than dad? Or the other way around? I mean...if u don't trust ur parents (at least with this), then maybe listen to that.

[Aeoryi she/her]

2 minutes ago, Theory said:

Well...maybe like just type out a text and then hit send without thinking but then turn off ur phone and shove it under the covers or smth. And don't look. Maybe till it buzzes. Idk.

I could yes

but I feel like I'd miss something or something 

I think it's cowardly

3 minutes ago, Theory said:

Soo...lemme get this straight (gay), u trust ur mom more than dad? Or the other way around? I mean...if u don't trust ur parents (at least with this), then maybe listen to that.

my dad doesn't think I'm trans and he's not willing to believe it. If I brought up Hormones with him there's a good chance I'd probably get like, conversion therapy'd or something. He's not ready to accept that I'm trans and he's not ready to accept that I'm different than he thinks.

The issue is I have to have parental consent. And my mom would make sure my dad didn't like, interfere with this at all (she's said this before).

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

6 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

And my mom would make sure my dad didn't like, interfere with this at all (she's said this before).

How do you mean? Like interfere with your dad's opinion?

Do you need consent from both parents?

7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

conversion therapy

?

7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

but I feel like I'd miss something or something

How do you mean?

7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I think it's cowardly

I mean...I do it. I don't quite shove my phone under the covers tho. But I get super nervous waiting for the response. (This applies for many things, for me.)

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Theory said:

How do you mean? Like interfere with your dad's opinion?

Do you need consent from both parents?

no like if she was onboard he would be onboard 

I don't know if I need consent from both parents but if mom is fine with it dad would probably not make a big fuss out of it

(Conversion therapy is a kind of "therapy" that attempts to "cure" being trans (or gay, queer, etc) through various means, most typically exposure to religion. It's currently like, a human rights violation and notable for being a terrible practice)

2 minutes ago, Theory said:

How do you mean?

I'd forget a key detail or something and regret it later

 

3 minutes ago, Theory said:

I mean...I do it. I don't quite shove my phone under the covers tho. But I get super nervous waiting for the response. (This applies for many things, for me.)

I'd get super nervous asking my parents for anything. I don't know. It just feels like they won't believe me, and I just don't want to face that truth. (Whether that is true or not is not necessarily certain though)

[Hmmm lies she/her]

1 hour ago, Aeoryi said:

You mentioned

that's like, much farther than I have gone tbh

Oh, right.

Well, ok. Maybe things are different. But you don't have to follow the same path as I do. And also, you haven't transitioned at all, right? I think you would feel a lot better even if all you did was socially transitioned, and like lived as a girl.

I'll try and help more later

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

9 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

if mom is fine with it dad would probably not make a big fuss out of it

Well that makes it easier, doesn't it?

9 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I'd forget a key detail or something and regret it later

You could...add it if you remember later..? I mean, unless you spend forever making an essay on why they should let you start hrt/accept that you're trans, then a text should be fine. Hopefully.

9 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I'd get super nervous asking my parents for anything. I don't know. It just feels like they won't believe me, and I just don't want to face that truth. (Whether that is true or not is not necessarily certain though)

At least then you'll know, instead of worrying about it. Why are you so nervous?

9 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

(Conversion therapy is a kind of "therapy" that attempts to "cure" being trans (or gay, queer, etc) through various means, most typically exposure to religion. It's currently like, a human rights violation and notable for being a terrible practice)

You...really think they'd do something like that?

 

Spoiler

Storms, I hope ur in one of the blue places (in more ways than one...)

Edited January 26 by Theory

[Aeoryi she/her]

3 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Oh, right.

Well, ok. Maybe things are different. But you don't have to follow the same path as I do. And also, you haven't transitioned at all, right? I think you would feel a lot better even if all you did was socially transitioned, and like lived as a girl.

I'll try and help more later

Yeah we have very different paths. 

I haven't transitioned at all, at least not in real life. Which is what matters. I would probably feel better if I socially transitioned or whatever, but then again that's not necessarily completely easy to do.

The issue is that social transition is basically impossible at the point I am now at without like, majorly screwing multiple aspects of my life over and also like even then like even if I did the best I could do could I really even actually ever be a girl? Idk

Just now, Theory said:

Well that makes it easier, doesn't it?

7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I'd forget a key detail or something and regret it later

You could...add it if you remember later..? I mean, unless you spend forever making an essay on why they should let you start hrt/accept that you're trans, then a text should be fine. Hopefully.

Ok, so, my mom has no issue with accepting that I'm trans. My dad has an issue with it. I don't really want to deal with him, so I haven't, and so I just have basically left him behind.

A text would be fine, but it's also not exactly human, right? It doesn't express emotion particularly well. 

2 minutes ago, Theory said:

At least then you'll know, instead of worrying about it. Why are you so nervous?

I feel like I kinda only have one chance to make this work otherwise it'll just be an uphill battle trying to prove things they're already dismissed

3 minutes ago, Theory said:

You...really think they'd do something like that?

No, because it's illegal in Canada and a crime and literally illegal to do something like that in Canada. But like he would still freak out if I mentioned I wanted Hormones. 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Ok, so, my mom has no issue with accepting that I'm trans. My dad has an issue with it. I don't really want to deal with him, so I haven't, and so I just have basically left him behind.

Then...I don't see the problem. I get the impression that your dad would begrudgingly be on board as long as your mom is? From your previous message? But also... depending on how much you/your mom have/has told him, he may see it as "coming out of nowhere." Idk.

4 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

A text would be fine, but it's also not exactly human, right? It doesn't express emotion particularly well. 

I'm personally fine with texts, and they work fine for me. However, for more serious stuff, I usually end up having in-person conversations afterward. Maybe ur right abt the emotion. But honestly if you literally can't do it face-to-face, a text is the next-best thing imo. Or even a voice (or video) call. I mean, I've never rlly done that but it might work if you want the voice aspect.

6 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I feel like I kinda only have one chance to make this work otherwise it'll just be an uphill battle trying to prove things they're already dismissed

I mean, maybe if they dismiss you but you persist enough, they could change their minds?

Tbh it sounds like u needa confront them more.

8 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

No, because it's illegal in Canada and a crime and literally illegal to do something like that in Canada. But like he would still freak out if I mentioned I wanted Hormones. 

Phew. I would hope they wouldn't do it even if it wasn't...

[Aeoryi she/her]

Just now, Theory said:

Then...I don't see the problem. I get the impression that your dad would begrudgingly be on board as long as your mom is? From your previous message? But also... depending on how much you/your mom have/has told him, he may see it as "coming out of nowhere." Idk.

My dad doesn't seem to see it. And neither does my mom, I think. She just has more of a tolerance for this kind of thing

1 minute ago, Theory said:

I'm personally fine with texts, and they work fine for me. However, for more serious stuff, I usually end up having in-person conversations afterward. Maybe ur right abt the emotion. But honestly if you literally can't do it face-to-face, a text is the next-best thing imo. Or even a voice (or video) call. I mean, I've never rlly done that but it might work if you want the voice aspect.

I have used text before but it's like it feels much more important to

2 minutes ago, Theory said:

I mean, maybe if they dismiss you but you persist enough, they could change their minds?

Tbh it sounds like u needa confront them more.

Well like my enby sibling told them that they were non binary like 7 years ago and they haven't done anything since that shows that they even care

It's not even that I have to wait, because to them waiting seems to be what they want. Like, I don't know, it's like if I said I was trans now and then later it doesn't make a difference because I'm not acting trans to them so 

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

3 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

My dad doesn't seem to see it. And neither does my mom, I think. She just has more of a tolerance for this kind of thing

I have used text before but it's like it feels much more important to

Well like my enby sibling told them that they were non binary like 7 years ago and they haven't done anything since that shows that they even care

It's not even that I have to wait, because to them waiting seems to be what they want. Like, I don't know, it's like if I said I was trans now and then later it doesn't make a difference because I'm not acting trans to them so 

Uhmmm....

I'm just gonna say what I've been thinking for days...

Ur parents don't sound that wonderful.

[Hmmm lies she/her]

16 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I haven't transitioned at all, at least not in real life. Which is what matters. I would probably feel better if I socially transitioned or whatever, but then again that's not necessarily completely easy to do.

The issue is that social transition is basically impossible at the point I am now at without like, majorly screwing multiple aspects of my life over and also like even then like even if I did the best I could do could I really even actually ever be a girl? Idk

Ugh, that sucks. Maybe, at the very least, you could get some fem clothing to wear around the house? Maybe if you appeared more feminine to her, they would see it as more real? This shouldn't be necessary, but if it works...

5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

Like, I don't know, it's like if I said I was trans now and then later it doesn't make a difference because I'm not acting trans to them so 

I mean, I think you need to be more assertive. It's not over yet, I think if you take more of a stand for yourself, they'll hopefully at the very least try to understand, and see how much you care about this.

I know it's scary, but I think Lily made some good points on how to deal with that.

[Usseewa ✾ She♡Her ✾]

I just had a horribly wonderful idea.

Make them read this thread.

[Aeoryi she/her]

6 minutes ago, Theory said:

Uhmmm....

I'm just gonna say what I've been thinking for days...

Ur parents don't sound that wonderful.

They're both great people imo just because they're bad at being supportive of me being trans doesn't mean they're awful

2 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

Ugh, that sucks. Maybe, at the very least, you could get some fem clothing to wear around the house? Maybe if you appeared more feminine to her, they would see it as more real? This shouldn't be necessary, but if it works...

I should but like... my dad might notice and I have siblings (2/3 would literally not care though, and the third one is always working a job or two)

that being said like the other day she asked me why I had paint on my nails and like ... what do you think lol
maybe I could just paint my nails and not care about what they say though

not a bad idea though

4 minutes ago, Hmmm lies said:

I mean, I think you need to be more assertive. It's not over yet, I think if you take more of a stand for yourself, they'll hopefully at the very least try to understand, and see how much you care about this.

I know it's scary, but I think Lily made some good points on how to deal with that.

Hmmm. I... am unsure how to show that I care about this and then convince them that this is worth caring about too

4 minutes ago, Theory said:

I just had a horribly wonderful idea.

Make them read this thread.

God I wish I could I wish I could so much

but like there's... idk it'd probably do worse than better in the long run