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Posted (edited)

See below for trans resources and info!

 

Welcome all trans people! And people who aren't sure if they're trans!

This is a space for us to talk about stuff. We decided to make a separate thread from Certified Gay Disasters (CGD) since we were kinda dominating that thread's conversation.

Mainly this is for trans or questioning people, but of course anyone can chime in. It's just that we made this thread us trans people to talk, since CGD is for all LGBTQ+ people (and allies and stuff), and we realized/had it pointed out that we were basically overrunning it with trans talk.

Let me know if you have any suggested edits to this post. I also may edit it in the future of course.

 

- Trans Resources -

Remember, you don't need dysphoria or intense dysphoria to be trans! I'll write more about this soon... because I think this is a very important thing to mention.

The Gender Dysphoria Bible (GDB) - READ IT!! This is written by a trans woman and is basically explaining some basics of gender, different types of dysphoria, and some stuff about hormones and Hormone Replacement Therapy (HRT). It can help if you are having doubts, think you aren't "trans enough," or just in general. Read it and maybe you'll relate! It's also okay if you don't relate, or not a lot. Trust me.

Depersonalization in Gender Dysphoria - This has a lot of accounts/experiences from trans people, as well as an explanation of, well, depersonalization in gender dysphoria lol. It was pretty helpful for me.

 

Feel free to ask us any questions or talk about your experiences!

- Lily :3

Edited by Usseewa
Posted (edited)
5 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

They don't believe me, I think. They don't use my chosen name or pronouns (I haven't asked them too either). I don't think it makes me feel better because it just feels like they know me better than I know myself and that's why they're acting that way or like I have to earn their respect 

Well...maybe think about asking them. If you don't want to, that's fine, but I think it's worth a shot at least. Or at least consider it. But also you probably know your family better than I do.

Only you can know what and how you feel. Maybe someone (like a therapist) can help coax it out of you, but ultimately it's you answering the questions and you saying what you feel.

Edited by Theory
Posted
Just now, Theory said:

Well...maybe think about asking them. If you don't want to, that's fine, but I think it's worth a shot at least. But also you know your family.

Only you can know what and how you feel. Maybe someone (like a therapist) can help coax it out of you, but ultimately it's you answering the questions and you saying what you feel.

I've wanted to talk to them about pronouns and stuff for over a month. But I had a in-depth talk with my dad and I asked him "what would it take for you to see me as trans" and he basically said that nothing would change his mind. Plus, it feels like it's forcing others to do things because I feel different or whatever

 

Posted
1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

I've wanted to talk to them about pronouns and stuff for over a month. But I had a in-depth talk with my dad and I asked him "what would it take for you to see me as trans" and he basically said that nothing would change his mind. Plus, it feels like it's forcing others to do things because I feel different or whatever

 

What about your mom? I recall you saying something about her opinion/stance based on your dad's? Have you talked to her? Do you know why your dad is unwilling? Is he anti-trans or anti-LQBTQ+ in general? Is he/has he been supportive of you before (in general)?

Are you feeling imposter syndrome or doubting yourself?

Posted

Oh uh hi, I guess I've been summoned here. I guess that's nice, but I'm gonna be honest, I'll probably chill in CGD for the most part, though you can always tag me if you want my help here

Posted (edited)
1 minute ago, Hmmm lies said:

Oh uh hi, I guess I've been summoned here. I guess that's nice, but I'm gonna be honest, I'll probably chill in CGD for the most part, though you can always tag me if you want my help here

Cool, cool. We'll see how this works out anyway

Spoiler

Cool Cool Cool GIFs | Tenor

 

Edited by Theory
Posted
3 minutes ago, Theory said:

What about your mom? I recall you saying something about her opinion/stance based on your dad's? Have you talked to her? Do you know why your dad is unwilling? Is he anti-trans or anti-LQBTQ+ in general? Is he/has he been supportive of you before (in general)?

She said that my dad just isn't seeing it in me and that's why he doesn't believe me. He's a skeptical person by nature, but I don't think he's against LGBTQ or trans people directly. He has not been supportive at all and I don't think he ever will be

And then even though my mom is supportive I'm still afraid of like, being different in front of her. 

Posted
1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

She said that my dad just isn't seeing it in me and that's why he doesn't believe me. He's a skeptical person by nature, but I don't think he's against LGBTQ or trans people directly. He has not been supportive at all and I don't think he ever will be

And then even though my mom is supportive I'm still afraid of like, being different in front of her. 

Hmmm, idk. Maybe direct them to a convincing YT video or the GDB?

7 minutes ago, Theory said:

Are you feeling imposter syndrome or doubting yourself?

 

Did you finish the GDB?

Posted

I’m sorry guys but I just had to say how funny it looks that y’all all have the same character for your pfps

This thread looks like irl Shallan

Posted
1 minute ago, Hoid Slayer said:

I’m sorry guys but I just had to say how funny it looks that y’all all have the same character for your pfps

This thread looks like irl Shallan

Frfr

Also, "GUYS"?????????????????? Jk I'm fine w/that lol

Posted
Just now, Theory said:

Hmmm, idk. Maybe direct them to a convincing YT video or the GDB?

I... don't know if they're willing to listen or care.

Just now, Theory said:

Did you finish the GDB?

No. I never read more than the one chapter. I don't know if I'm struggling with imposter syndrome but I know I could take it all back if I really wanted to 

Posted
3 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

I’m sorry guys but I just had to say how funny it looks that y’all all have the same character for your pfps

This thread looks like irl Shallan

HAHAHAHAH we are irl shallan 

Posted
2 minutes ago, Theory said:

Frfr

Also, "GUYS"?????????????????? Jk I'm fine w/that lol

It’s my automatic response 😭

Guys is genderless

Posted (edited)
7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

I... don't know if they're willing to listen or care.

They should care. You're their daughter; parents should care.

7 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

No. I never read more than the one chapter. I don't know if I'm struggling with imposter syndrome but I know I could take it all back if I really wanted to

May I ask what your seeming hesitation is?

https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en/printable

Well, are you feeling you aren't "trans enough" (no such thing) or not "real" or starting to doubt yourself (perhaps bcz of ur family idk)

4 minutes ago, Hoid Slayer said:

It’s my automatic response 😭

Guys is genderless

Ik, ik. Same here.

 

@Aeoryi I would at least read the chapters I highlighted here:

Spoiler

image.thumb.png.0402df4636732f888968c2d52d57741a.png

 

Edited by Theory
Posted
5 minutes ago, Theory said:

They should care. You're their daughter; parents should care.

Soooo as a cis guy I’m not the best person to be talking about this topic but I 100% concur

As your parents, it’s their job to love and accept you - every part of you

Alright y’all bye bye you can forget I was here 👀

Posted
15 minutes ago, Theory said:

They should care. You're their daughter; parents should care

They care about other things just not everything. They do care, I think, and they mean well, but they don't tolerate everything. To them this is some entirely fake new thing.

Posted (edited)
2 minutes ago, Aeoryi said:

They care about other things just not everything. They do care, I think, and they mean well, but they don't tolerate everything. To them this is some entirely fake new thing.

Did you see my edits? How long have you known/suspected you were trans? Did you tell them that?

Edited by Theory
Posted
2 minutes ago, Theory said:

Did you see my edits? How long have you known/suspected you were trans? Did you tell them that?

Far too long

But it doesn't matter to them anything that conspires online because it's not real to them. I have an extremely hard time trying to convince them that anything online matters. I did mention that it wasn't a recent development but I don't think it made a difference.

Posted
1 minute ago, Aeoryi said:

Far too long

But it doesn't matter to them anything that conspires online because it's not real to them. I have an extremely hard time trying to convince them that anything online matters. I did mention that it wasn't a recent development but I don't think it made a difference.

Did you simply "mention" it? I find that sometimes I can hint at something or mention it in passing but the person doesn't catch on or doesn't actually get what I'm saying. Sometimes it's better to be direct or repeat yourself if they don't seem to know what you mean. For instance, I did this sometimes when talking about my anxieties because, honestly, I was embarrassed by them or thought they made me a bad person, or didn't want them to worry, etc. etc. But if I just explained the fears in a general way, or not fully, then it didn't help as much as when I - later - clarified, elaborated, or double-checked. Idk if that's what you're dealing with, but it could be.

Honestly, using the online space to express your gender through pronouns or name or etc. is one of the signs your trans, but also one of the things that is recommended when you're questioning.

Lastly, if you've known for what sounds like a long time, then...say that. If they think it's a "trend" or "phase," then saying "I've known for years" or even "I've known for months" might help.

Is my advice helpful at all?

Posted
7 minutes ago, Theory said:

Did you simply "mention" it? I find that sometimes I can hint at something or mention it in passing but the person doesn't catch on or doesn't actually get what I'm saying. Sometimes it's better to be direct or repeat yourself if they don't seem to know what you mean. For instance, I did this sometimes when talking about my anxieties because, honestly, I was embarrassed by them or thought they made me a bad person, or didn't want them to worry, etc. etc. But if I just explained the fears in a general way, or not fully, then it didn't help as much as when I - later - clarified, elaborated, or double-checked. Idk if that's what you're dealing with, but it could be.

Yes, I kinda just mentioned it. I haven't had any in depth conversation about it really and I'm afraid to have them, because I'm afraid that my parents never will take me seriously 

7 minutes ago, Theory said:

Honestly, using the online space to express your gender through pronouns or name or etc. is one of the signs your trans, but also one of the things that is recommended when you're questioning.

I did it pre-questioning tbh

7 minutes ago, Theory said:

Lastly, if you've known for what sounds like a long time, then...say that. If they think it's a "trend" or "phase," then saying "I've known for years" or even "I've known for months" might help.

Issue is they don't see it

8 minutes ago, Theory said:

Is my advice helpful at all?

Yes, it is quite helpful

Posted
52 minutes ago, Theory said:

May I ask what your seeming hesitation is [for reading the GDB]?

Can you address this?

@Aeoryi

Posted

Oh god this becoming another TLT

I follow almost everyone here, so I will get pinged on it no matter if i'm following it or not *sighs*

Posted
1 minute ago, Theory said:

Can you address this?

@Aeoryi

I don't know... Just that the things people have said about it makes me more hesitant to take it at face value

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