Mental health club!

[Through the Living Hope]

8 hours ago, Dabi said:

I’ve come to just need hugs. I need some rn

I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I’m sitting in a temple parking lot trying to figure out how to calm myself down

 

I just need hugs

6 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

*hug*

*hug*

Edited March 21, 2025 by Spark of Hope

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

6 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

That is… a lot. It’s horrible when you have a million other people trying to tell you how to do your job, especially when you’re a leader. Everyone always comes to you with their own problems, and then seems disappointed when you aren’t perfect in return. But you don’t have to be perfect. And your reaction here is entirely justified.

I’m sorry things got so bad that it had to ruin this experience for you. It’s up to you to decide whether to resign or not, but I would think about talking to them about the situation.

But that doesn’t have to be now. Right now, you just need a break. You deserve it.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

7 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

Hot dang

yeah, you should quit

*hugs*

[Keke They/he]

9 hours ago, Dabi said:

I’ve come to just need hugs. I need some rn

I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I’m sitting in a temple parking lot trying to figure out how to calm myself down

 

I just need hugs

 

7 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

*hug*

Hugs omg dabi.

People need to take a fricking chill pill. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

10 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

*squeeze*

geez . . .

Please quit when the show is done 

[echo74 she/her]

22 hours ago, Dabi said:

I’ve come to just need hugs. I need some rn

I’m stressed, I’m tired, and I’m sitting in a temple parking lot trying to figure out how to calm myself down

 

I just need hugs

 

21 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

*big hug*

that sucks bro

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

21 hours ago, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

Jeez

*hugs*

being head of things can suck

[Existential]

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

1 minute ago, Dabi said:

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

*more hugs*

no apologies for venting

[echo74 she/her]

6 minutes ago, Dabi said:

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

*hugs*

bruh

sometimes people are just the worst

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 hour ago, Dabi said:

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

BRUH

oh my gosh I swear

Who was it

*hug*

[Existential]

2 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

BRUH

oh my gosh I swear

Who was it

*hug*

Elijah

He left with one of the vista techs for half of act 2, from intermission to drive. No one knows what they were doing

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, Dabi said:

Elijah

He left with one of the vista techs for half of act 2, from intermission to drive. No one knows what they were doing

oh my gosh

[strmblsd he/him]

I have to be at my school in less than 8 hours

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

1 minute ago, strmblsd said:

I have to be at my school in less than 8 hours

yay . . .

For what?

Comps?

*hug*

[strmblsd he/him]

4 minutes ago, Through The Living Glass said:

yay . . .

For what?

Comps?

*hug*

Yaaahhhhh ASL competition!!!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

Just now, strmblsd said:

Yaaahhhhh ASL competition!!!

. . .

THAT'S A THING???

dang dude

You should go to bed then (like I am rn) 

*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug*

Goodnight, and good luck tomorrow!

[strmblsd he/him]

1 minute ago, Through The Living Glass said:

. . .

THAT'S A THING???

dang dude

You should go to bed then (like I am rn) 

*huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuug*

Goodnight, and good luck tomorrow!

Thank youuu and yes it is a thing!!! And I'm maybe gunna or maybe watch movie goodnight 

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

1 hour ago, Dabi said:

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

VIOLENCE

CAN I PUNCH

[Existential]

2 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

VIOLENCE

CAN I PUNCH

feel free

Okay i go bed now

gn yall

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

Spoiler

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

[Throw TheLiving Silverware he/him/il/lui]

55 minutes ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

*huuuuuuugs*

I... dont really know what to say. But I hope things can eventually get better. And I hope sleep has found you by now, but if not, calm music + a book can help.

*bug long hug*

[Existential]

3 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Hide contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

*big hugs*

I hope you can get there soon

Getting everything done I mean

I wouldn't suggest the other thing though

Watching your life flash... It's not fun, I can say that much. Once was enough for me and I would never wish that upon anyone else. 

*bigger hugs*

(also yes I am fully aware it is 4:30 in my time zone rn, glass don't be mad please. Don't question it)

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

6 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Hide contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

So sorry I didn’t see your call last night I will try my best to help with anything anytime I can

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

7 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

*hugs* 

That’s pretty dang awful. I’m so sorry