Mental health club!

[Hoid Slayer He/Him]

10 hours ago, Dabi said:

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

Dang

You are entirely justified for losing your mind right now. Like I said earlier, what you really deserve right now is a break. I hope things get better for you.

7 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Hide contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and it’s totally normal for your brain to guilt trip you. Our brains always tend to run free when we’re trying to sleep, and that can lead to dark and disturbing thoughts.

When I was younger, I suffered from something like this. I would be fine all day, but as soon as I settled down and closed my eyes to sleep, my brain would immediately jump to thoughts of death and oblivion. I don’t know if there’s really a solution to this, but personally, I just did everything I could to think about something else until the habit disappeared. I think what you need, though, is a better method for falling asleep. Try reading a book (Lord of the Rings would make me conk out instantly ) or use another strategy. But screens are not the long-term solution.

As for your suicidal tendencies: please don’t. There are so many reasons to stay alive, even when we can’t see them all immediately. It’s not just what’s happening in your life right now; think about all the people whose lives you could improve in the future, people you haven’t even met. Think of how you could improve your own life. This time will pass. But the future will always be there.

Finally, maybe getting help would honestly be for the best. I don’t know you’re situation like you do so I could be wrong, but if that might help, it’s worth considering.

And of course, we are always here for you.

 

[Keke They/he]

12 hours ago, Dabi said:

Oookaaaaay 

play this like reddit

UPDATE:

So I calmed down, I felt fine this morning, I slept way too long and I’m still tired, but that’s a different thing, I might have sleep apnea .  So, today was an interesting day. I got to the show and everything was fine, and then we got to intermission. I had to yell over our god mic to get kids off the stage, as our teacher said to. Then someone gets on comms and asks me why I did it, I said the teacher said to, and I listen to her. Then he goes, “Well you were supposed to have a sound technician at every rehersal, and you didn’t. So that’s a lie.” And I just lost my mind. I’m actively not talking to him, and then I learn he disappeared for most of Act 2 and I was pissed. And he dissapeared and took one of the female techs with him and I’m like NUH UH. YOU CAN’T GET MAD AT ME THEN DISSAPEAR. LIKE COME ON DUDE.

anyways, that’s my rant. Sorry for doing this twice in a row, I’m just like losing my mind rn

 

9 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

Spoiler

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

[echo74 she/her]

10 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Reveal hidden contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

*big hugs*

i'm sorry

that sounds awful

please don't kill yourself

if you have to, rant here every day

but please don't kill yourself

*huge hugs*

1 minute ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

*HUGS IN ALL CAPS*

you're good, sometimes you just need to let out some steam

and that's totally okay

dude that sounds so frustrating

im sorry about your mom

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

10 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Hide contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

*squeeze*

Dang

I'm so sorry

That's not cool

Listening to music help me, usually

Sorry I can't offer more 

7 hours ago, Dabi said:

*big hugs*

I hope you can get there soon

Getting everything done I mean

I wouldn't suggest the other thing though

Watching your life flash... It's not fun, I can say that much. Once was enough for me and I would never wish that upon anyone else. 

*bigger hugs*

(also yes I am fully aware it is 4:30 in my time zone rn, glass don't be mad please. Don't question it)

*eyes narrow*

1 hour ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

aw man

I'm sorry, Hawks

That sounds so fun . . .

That's kinda weird though

Like

I'm a girl 

I own men's clothing

I don't see what the big deal is

[Keke They/he]

2 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*squeeze*

Dang

I'm so sorry

That's not cool

Listening to music help me, usually

Sorry I can't offer more 

*eyes narrow*

aw man

I'm sorry, Hawks

That sounds so fun . . .

That's kinda weird though

Like

I'm a girl 

I own men's clothing

I don't see what the big deal is

Thanks

I don't see a big deal either but she's traditional. 

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

7 minutes ago, Hawks said:

Thanks

I don't see a big deal either but she's traditional. 

*hug*

[MirkerLurker she/her]

On 3/20/2025 at 11:45 PM, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

*hugs*

*destressing hugs*

Oh. My God. My dad has a filing cabinet. He can’t for the life of him tell you thathe was supposed to start the laundry, but he could tell you the year, month, and day of release of just about any song from the ‘70s through ‘90s, as well as what he was doing at the time.

That's such a neurodivergent/special interests thing. It's one of the things that I admire about special interests. I love how some people can tell you amazing detail about the thing they're interested in.

 

On 3/21/2025 at 1:42 AM, Dabi said:

Okay okay ladies and gents we come presenting: ACTUAL CONTEXT

 

So, today marked the opening night of our show, and it was kinda hell almost the entire time. Ran into a past technician and we got to talking for a bit, mostly about what had changed since he left. I brought up like 2 concerns and then he goes and tells me one our lighting techs has been a mole, and has been leaking information out to help the butthurt tech that quit feel better by trying to get that teacher fired. I went to talk to another tech about it and we sent the teacher and email, and went into her classroom and we talked about it. I explained he has issues with the way the Stage Crew is treated, but we really aren't treated badly. Overall It was just a stressful situation and I moved on after it got taken to an admin, the 5 minutes later said admin returns and says we can't tell anyone about it. Which just left another mento in the coke.

 

FF to open. The opener  music sounds great, I said hi to my family, to my girlfriend, then went to do my job. That's where the problem started. It was constant messages and people telling me to push thisand pull that out nd do this and the music is too quiet and this and that and I just pushed it out. At the end of the show, I go to apologize to the teacher, she says it's fine and that the actors should've been louder so the mics did what they were supposed to, which made me question why mid act 2 she said I'd rather go deaf than not hear them, push them out of the towers. So I disable the monitors and push it out of our towers full blast and she's still telling me to push it when I can't anymore. So 5 people are actively telling me how to do my job and this other BS and I was about to lose it. I ended up slamming my fist down on the counter to get them off of the back seat driver circle, shut off my equipment, and left, drove to the temple, and screamed and came close to crying on and off for 30 minutes while shaking nonstop. 

 

It's been like this since I became a department head for our tech crew. All that blame goes here. I'm just tired of it. if the rest of the nights are like this I might have an aneurism, like on ZEUS dude nothing I do works anymore. To make the longer part of a much longer story short, I think I'm quitting my tech crew after our show is done. I don't want to have to deal with it anymore. I don't think. I could do it.

 

Now that's where I end, because the sleeping meds I took are working by some miracle and my computer now looks like it's melting and the characters are waving on the screen. I will  likely finish this post tomorrow, so call this pt 1

 

G' night

Firstly, you never need to apologize for coming on here to rant/vent. We're here to help, and sometimes all you need is a listener. 
Secondly, wow, that's rough. Management roles are always more stressful, and it sounds like (stating the obvious here) this one isn't working for you. And hell week into show week is always so much extra stress on top of everything. *hug* 

 

17 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

I just spent the last half hour spiraling and honestly I still haven’t stopped and idk how to get my brain to shut down help please

TW: suizidal

  Hide contents

I’m just now realizing that I have been distracted this whole week stressing about some stuff and my mom swore that if I missed another assignment she’d take away my time at the dojo and I’m running through the scenarios and they all bring me so close to killing myself and really only the thought of my baby brother and all the kids I teach stop me, but I can’t explain any of this to my mom ‘cause she’d insist I get help and honestly that would just harm the situation rather than help and I don’t know what to do

Simultaneously my brain is also guilt-tripping me because my best friend/sister and I used to talk all the time but we haven’t really talked in awhile and I feel bad ‘cause I do miss her and she could sometimes help my depression and knew more about me than literally anybody else, but she also had a tendency to set off my depression and I know it was really my fault and not hers but it still makes it hard to talk to her so that sucks too

I just need my brain to please please please shut down I’m tired but I can’t/won’t go to sleep, I'm just watching YouTube waiting for everything to crash so I can finally sleep

If I may ask, what kind of help are you thinking of, that would harm the situation? Therapy?

There's different ways of helping with depression or other mental health things, and certainly the wrong one with the wrong person can make it worse. However, my experience has been that overall, it's worth keeping on trying to find the right ways of helping that work for you. (It's also ok to take breaks and work on that slowly though. It's not an easy road, but it's a worthwhile one.)

Granted, what your mom calls "getting help" might very well not work for you, and she might not understand the "different things for different people" aspect. A lot of people think "therapy fixes everything" or "This one thing worked for me/person I know, so it should work the same for everyone". 

For you, it sounds like your martial arts is a large part of your "getting help" - it's a routine and self-care that helps you stay stable. That's backed up by research - regular physical activity is just as important to mental health as it is to physical health, and has both short-term and long-term mood-stabilizing and mood-lifting effects. 
But, if your mom doesn't understand that, then it's hard to work with her, even if she's trying to help. And I don't know her, or your relationship with her, well enough to make suggestions. With my own mom, I would approach her to talk about it, and try to use logical science-backed arguments. That's what she responded well to. Other parents don't respond as well to that. And some parents just get stricter if you try to push back. I dunno for you. Sorry you have to work through that. *hug*

And, you're not a bad friend/brother. You're a struggling one.

 

7 hours ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Hide contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

Please rant! Please vent your feelings here.

Also, sympathy. I dress in neutral clothes, not "boy specific ones", but let's be honest - neutral clothes are boy clothes. There's "girl tshirts" and "unisex tshirts", right?? And I don't dress girly. 
(Fun story: My husband wore my jeans to work one day by mistake. I laughed so hard when he came home confused.)
Sorry your mom doesn't like that. I say wear what you're comfortable in. Like sure, for church, dress nicely, at least, but that doesn't need to mean "a dress".

[Existential]

1 hour ago, MirkerLurker said:

Firstly, you never need to apologize for coming on here to rant/vent. We're here to help, and sometimes all you need is a listener. 
Secondly, wow, that's rough. Management roles are always more stressful, and it sounds like (stating the obvious here) this one isn't working for you. And hell week into show week is always so much extra stress on top of everything. *hug* 

I try not to, but I’m kinda just an apologetic person by nature

[Kansas Stormcursed he/him]

Thanks y’all

16 hours ago, Hoid_Slayer said:

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed and it’s totally normal for your brain to guilt trip you. Our brains always tend to run free when we’re trying to sleep, and that can lead to dark and disturbing thoughts.

When I was younger, I suffered from something like this. I would be fine all day, but as soon as I settled down and closed my eyes to sleep, my brain would immediately jump to thoughts of death and oblivion. I don’t know if there’s really a solution to this, but personally, I just did everything I could to think about something else until the habit disappeared. I think what you need, though, is a better method for falling asleep. Try reading a book (Lord of the Rings would make me conk out instantly ) or use another strategy. But screens are not the long-term solution.

As for your suicidal tendencies: please don’t. There are so many reasons to stay alive, even when we can’t see them all immediately. It’s not just what’s happening in your life right now; think about all the people whose lives you could improve in the future, people you haven’t even met. Think of how you could improve your own life. This time will pass. But the future will always be there.

Finally, maybe getting help would honestly be for the best. I don’t know you’re situation like you do so I could be wrong, but if that might help, it’s worth considering.

And of course, we are always here for you.

 

6 hours ago, MirkerLurker said:

If I may ask, what kind of help are you thinking of, that would harm the situation? Therapy?

There's different ways of helping with depression or other mental health things, and certainly the wrong one with the wrong person can make it worse. However, my experience has been that overall, it's worth keeping on trying to find the right ways of helping that work for you. (It's also ok to take breaks and work on that slowly though. It's not an easy road, but it's a worthwhile one.)

Granted, what your mom calls "getting help" might very well not work for you, and she might not understand the "different things for different people" aspect. A lot of people think "therapy fixes everything" or "This one thing worked for me/person I know, so it should work the same for everyone". 

For you, it sounds like your martial arts is a large part of your "getting help" - it's a routine and self-care that helps you stay stable. That's backed up by research - regular physical activity is just as important to mental health as it is to physical health, and has both short-term and long-term mood-stabilizing and mood-lifting effects. 
But, if your mom doesn't understand that, then it's hard to work with her, even if she's trying to help. And I don't know her, or your relationship with her, well enough to make suggestions. With my own mom, I would approach her to talk about it, and try to use logical science-backed arguments. That's what she responded well to. Other parents don't respond as well to that. And some parents just get stricter if you try to push back. I dunno for you. Sorry you have to work through that. *hug*

And, you're not a bad friend/brother. You're a struggling one.

There are two main issues. First is my mom’s own issues, which aren’t really her fault but which make working with her hard: she has crazy anxiety and tends to overreact to a lot of things, and she would absolutely put me in therapy no matter what I said. There’s also my own general trust issues that inhibit therapy; I’ve tried it before, but I don’t tell them enough to be able to help me. I’ve started to just use martial arts as my therapy which, while not super effective, at least keeps me functioning.

13 hours ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

Oof. That sucks, I’m sorry. 

[Existential]

13 hours ago, Through The Living Glass said:

*squeeze*

Dang

I'm so sorry

That's not cool

Listening to music help me, usually

Sorry I can't offer more 

*eyes narrow*

aw man

I'm sorry, Hawks

That sounds so fun . . .

That's kinda weird though

Like

I'm a girl 

I own men's clothing

I don't see what the big deal is

...

Is the men's clothing you own my old jacket?  

14 hours ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

also

*hugs*

[Honors Spectral Image She/her]

I want to tell all of yall how much I love you all and I want to thank yall for being here for everyone everyday

[Shatter He/Him]

21 hours ago, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Hide contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

*hugs*

Also, I get it. Personally, I wear essentially the same thing every day (dress shirt and chino pants… yeah I'm boring), but I get you, people should be able to wear whatever they want. And the conversion from women's size to men's size is super easy. And one more thing. Don't apologize for ranting. This thread is for ranting. We support you Hawks

[echo74 she/her]

2 hours ago, Heřãłðøfľõvê said:

I want to tell all of yall how much I love you all and I want to thank yall for being here for everyone everyday

*hugs*

you too

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

Do y’all ever feel like there’s some kind of thing inside of you that can only really be described as the magic fantasy protagonist potential bubble in your chest that hurts when you think about it and it feels like i need to make it burst and do something awesome and until that moment I’ll never really live and idk how to explain it really but yeah. It just feels like a wall between me and free falling with magical trails of light like I’m in an anime but no matter how much i slam myself against that wall it never breaks and the world just passes me by

 

anyways hi y’all hugs for everyone hows life

[Shatter He/Him]

3 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

Do y’all ever feel like there’s some kind of thing inside of you that can only really be described as the magic fantasy protagonist potential bubble in your chest that hurts when you think about it and it feels like i need to make it burst and do something awesome and until that moment I’ll never really live and idk how to explain it really but yeah. It just feels like a wall between me and free falling with magical trails of light like I’m in an anime but no matter how much i slam myself against that wall it never breaks and the world just passes me by

 

anyways hi y’all hugs for everyone hows life

Yeah. I feel that. Didn't know you had it too. Like I need to be a hero :). And lifes good.

[ANHlittleinsane girl but gendern't mostly]

6 minutes ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

Yeah. I feel that. Didn't know you had it too. Like I need to be a hero :). And lifes good.

We’ve all read a little too much fantasy and repressed a little too much emotion i suppose

[Shatter He/Him]

14 minutes ago, alittleinsane said:

We’ve all read a little too much fantasy and repressed a little too much emotion i suppose

I've repressed way too much emotion. I rarely laugh or smile.

My mother calls me 'a robot' for a reason.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

On 3/22/2025 at 10:51 AM, Hawks said:

 

*hugs for both of you.*

I don't really know what to say. But *hugs*

 

Er I came to rant to 

So uh

Rant, sorry if I'm like. Uh i dunno. Sorry anyways. 

  Reveal hidden contents

Ok

So like... my mom wonders why I want to live with my dad and not her. because I can be me around my dad.  Erl more me. Ok so there's this dance that's like a 1920s type theme and I need new suit pants anyways bc mine are to tight and it annoys me. So today we get in the car to go to the temple and she's like 'wearing pants to the temple, maybe cause you don't gave dresses that fit you.' Don't think about it whatever. After the temple we go to Ross to see if we can find like some more suit pant type pants instead of the more leggings type suit pants she gets me. Couldn't find any in the girls section so I'm like 'let's check the mens' and she's like 'no cause it's mens and it won't fit.'

Ok whatever. And for my fit for the dance I'm doing a suit, fedora, suspenders etc like how they dressed back then.  So I ask 'dya think that got suspenders' cue her slight disgusted face. Gr Ok we didn't get anything. So we go to Costco to walk around and get some stuff, we check around the clothes after we eat. I see some pants, 'how bout these' 'no those are mens' ... BRUH AND it's clothes....

Ok more looking we find 1 pair. As we are walking away I see a polo shirt and like oh hey. So I take it look at it. My mom looks back and gets a disgusted face again. 'Oh sorry this looked cool' put it down and catch up. 

THEN SHE SAYS IT. THE STUPID THING THAR I HATE

"Why do you want boys clothes so much, it pisses me off."

I like stop for a second. That's like a knife. My mom dislikes me cause I dress to "boyish" and I'm not a girly girl she wants me to be.

Ok sorry for ranting off your rants but I needed to get that out. 

 

That's frustrating. I honestly don't see why it matters how you dress. 

*hugs*

16 hours ago, Dabi said:

I try not to, but I’m kinda just an apologetic person by nature

*squiz*

10 hours ago, Kaladin Stormcursed said:

Thanks y’all

There are two main issues. First is my mom’s own issues, which aren’t really her fault but which make working with her hard: she has crazy anxiety and tends to overreact to a lot of things, and she would absolutely put me in therapy no matter what I said. There’s also my own general trust issues that inhibit therapy; I’ve tried it before, but I don’t tell them enough to be able to help me. I’ve started to just use martial arts as my therapy which, while not super effective, at least keeps me functioning.

Oof. That sucks, I’m sorry. 

*squiiiiz*

1 hour ago, alittleinsane said:

Do y’all ever feel like there’s some kind of thing inside of you that can only really be described as the magic fantasy protagonist potential bubble in your chest that hurts when you think about it and it feels like i need to make it burst and do something awesome and until that moment I’ll never really live and idk how to explain it really but yeah. It just feels like a wall between me and free falling with magical trails of light like I’m in an anime but no matter how much i slam myself against that wall it never breaks and the world just passes me by

 

anyways hi y’all hugs for everyone hows life

YES AUGH YES ALFSKHGDV<NC vegskj. 

I've never heard it described like that 

this makes me feel validated

*squiz*

[Shatter He/Him]

45 minutes ago, Bird Furious said:

That's frustrating. I honestly don't see why it matters how you dress. 

*hugs*

*squiz*

*squiiiiz*

YES AUGH YES ALFSKHGDV<NC vegskj. 

I've never heard it described like that 

this makes me feel validated

*squiz*

no squiz for me?

I need my daily allotment of squiz...

Edited March 23, 2025 by The Shattered Cosmere

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

43 minutes ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

no squiz for me?

I need my daily allotment of squiz...

*DOUBLE SQUIZZZZZZ*

*extra squiz*

[echo74 she/her]

2 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

Do y’all ever feel like there’s some kind of thing inside of you that can only really be described as the magic fantasy protagonist potential bubble in your chest that hurts when you think about it and it feels like i need to make it burst and do something awesome and until that moment I’ll never really live and idk how to explain it really but yeah. It just feels like a wall between me and free falling with magical trails of light like I’m in an anime but no matter how much i slam myself against that wall it never breaks and the world just passes me by

 

anyways hi y’all hugs for everyone hows life

yeah ik what you mean

*hug*

i'm doing good!

lowkey tired but thats fine

[Shatter He/Him]

1 hour ago, Bird Furious said:

*DOUBLE SQUIZZZZZZ*

*extra squiz*

YAY!!!

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

4 minutes ago, The Shattered Cosmere said:

YAY!!!

[Through The Living Glass She/They]

3 hours ago, alittleinsane said:

Do y’all ever feel like there’s some kind of thing inside of you that can only really be described as the magic fantasy protagonist potential bubble in your chest that hurts when you think about it and it feels like i need to make it burst and do something awesome and until that moment I’ll never really live and idk how to explain it really but yeah. It just feels like a wall between me and free falling with magical trails of light like I’m in an anime but no matter how much i slam myself against that wall it never breaks and the world just passes me by

 

anyways hi y’all hugs for everyone hows life

*squeeze*

yeah 

all the time

*sigh*

My day's been fine

[Shatter He/Him]