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Crafting Cosmere Santa Clause


Koloss17

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So given that the holidays are here, and there’s a lot of abilities in the Cosmere, I wonder: what would the Santa Clause of the Cosmere look like?

I think there’s a few main magical properties of the all-powerful shard of St. Nick:

  • Is able to deliver thousands of presents in one night
  • can fit into any chimney and house without making a sound
  • manages to eat an insurmountable amount of food in one night
  • flies around the place in a sled led by reindeers
  • Has a sack that holds a practically infinite amount of presents
  • always knows who is naughty or nice
  • is never caught by anyone and is relatively unknown to society
  • never seems to die, or at least has a very long lifespan.

So how would we craft CosmereClause? Some of these are easy, and others are much more difficult.

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never seems to die, or at least has a very long lifespan.

This one is a verrry easy one. There are so many ways to extend your lifespan in the Cosmere. I would say the easiest would be Fifth Heightening, as it also gives a magical aura around you and frees you of any potential sickness.

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manages to eat an insurmountable amount of food in one night

This seems to be a classic case of F-Bendalloy doing its thing. You can eat all you want, so long as you have the metal bracers under your coat.

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is never caught by anyone and is relatively unknown to society

can fit into any chimney and house without making a sound

To me, I think this indicates an Edgedancer. It will make it easy to get in and out, and enable a speedy delivery of presents. It also means they are slippery, so law enforcement stands no chance at catching him.

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Is able to deliver thousands of presents in one night
flies around the place in a sled led by reindeers

Perhaps Santa is also a Windrunner or a Skybreaker? It would explain the flight, but not really the reindeer or sled. And I’m also not 100% sure if being able to utilize the surge of Gravitation would be enough to deliver as many presents as Santa can get away with.

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Has a sack that holds a practically infinite amount of presents

There’s a lot of options here, but none of them feel great to me. Maybe they utilize the cognitive realm as a little pocket dimension? Maybe there’s soulcasting of presents? Perhaps soulstamping could even be involved? I think soulcasting would be the easiest to pull off, but it would kinda require the surge of Transformatoon, and not an ordinary soulcaster.

As for the general pseudo-Omnicience, I do not really know. I mean, Santa could be a Shard, which would explain a lot, but that seems like a bit of a cop out. 
 

What are you folks’ thoughts? What are the secrets of Santa? We must get to the bottom of this.

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https://www.dragonsteelbooks.com/products/holiday-card-variety-pack

HolidayVarietyPack2023_ForWebsite.jpg?v=

Santa isn't unknown, he's famous.

Besides, we already know the answer, it's obviously Nightblood when he's being carried by Szeth. Flies through the air on his steed (Szeth), immortal, knows who is naughty or nice, seen on multiple worlds (travels really fast), can eat an insurmountable amount of food, and always has gifts for everyone (so long as what you want is destroying evil) and can give out thousands of his "gifts" in a single night!

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My first thought was a kandra. Perhaps a Windrunner kandra with the ability to supercharge Lashings with duralumin?

Another option could be a bendalloy/duralumin Twinborn (I think bendalloy is the right one) who is also a Windrunner and Edgedancer; the ability to use speed bubbles when stuffing stockings would be super helpful, and I honestly love the idea of supercharged Lashings. May not actually be possible in the Cosmere, but it'd be cool. 
 

Otherwise, it's just Hoid doing his usual weird, Hoid-y stuff. Would you be at all surprised to find out Hoid could time travel? I wouldn't. 

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4 hours ago, Duxredux said:

https://www.dragonsteelbooks.com/products/holiday-card-variety-pack

HolidayVarietyPack2023_ForWebsite.jpg?v=

Santa isn't unknown, he's famous.

Besides, we already know the answer, it's obviously Nightblood when he's being carried by Szeth. Flies through the air on his steed (Szeth), immortal, knows who is naughty or nice, seen on multiple worlds (travels really fast), can eat an insurmountable amount of food, and always has gifts for everyone (so long as what you want is destroying evil) and can give out thousands of his "gifts" in a single night!

You appear to be 100% correct and I have not considered that. Where have you acquired such forbidden knowledge?

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Easy, Returned(immortal) Lightweaver(isn't caught and access to Shadesmar for fast travel and space for presents) with an army of lifeless elves and lots of identity-less bendalloy medallions (to eat all that food[not required as he could just shove all the food to Shadesmar])

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7 hours ago, Lego Mistborn said:

Easy, Returned(immortal) Lightweaver(isn't caught and access to Shadesmar for fast travel and space for presents) with an army of lifeless elves and lots of identity-less bendalloy medallions (to eat all that food[not required as he could just shove all the food to Shadesmar])

Hmmmmmm. Interesting proposition. However, I’m not 100% sure that Lightweavers can just shove things into shadesmar, as they only have the surge of transformation, and not transportation.

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18 hours ago, Koloss17 said:

Hmmmmmm. Interesting proposition. However, I’m not 100% sure that Lightweavers can just shove things into shadesmar, as they only have the surge of transformation, and not transportation.

I'm not sure either, you'd have to ask an arcanist. I gave it a shot, but didn't really care to get in depth because it's not a serious theory.(I don't think)

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  • 2 weeks later...

Santa is clear a steel compounder. He spends most of the year storing speed, then compounds it all in one night. But if he’s also using bendalloy, then he must be a fullborn. 
this would also explain how he can fly around using alomancy. He can detect anyone coming with tin or bronze and uses zinc to bring the Christmas spirit wherever he goes. 
the only way to know if someone is nuaghty or nice is if they have access to a shard, who also provides technology/presents to their planet 
Conclusion: Marsh is Santa Claus. 

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