The Cult of Shiro

[Chaos he/him]

Background knowledge, in case you don't know who Shiro is: he's evil. He's responsible for the internet going out inexplicably. He makes a great scapegoat when there's no other rational reason! If you hate your internet going out, you should join me and start respecting Shiro, so he doesn't smite us (and secretly praising the Anti-Shiro. Shiro erased that dude's name, because Shiro is annoying like that).

Why was this demon named Shiro? For this reason: Shiro was a character in the MMO Guild Wars Factions. In some excessively convoluted reasoning, he came back from the dead and brought this weird plague with him. Yeah, I don't know. It made sense at the time. Anyways, when you beat him in that game, some old dude says "We have a special place in the underworld for him... a place of eternal torment."

Now, realize that at this time, I was on dial-up, and my internet went out a heck of a lot trying to get to Shiro. I was rather annoyed. But then it hit me. A "place of eternal torment"? Holy crap, it's a dial-up modem! There's nothing more eternally tormenting. So, I began blaming dial-up on Shiro's malevolence. Later, when I banished dial-up forever, Shiro grew in strength. Router goes out? Shiro. Did that snow storm knock out your power which prevented you from internet access? Shiro must be growing powerful. Apparently Shiro also has a cat form, though I can't fathom how that came about.

So now you know, if I've spoken of Shiro and you didn't know what I'm talking about!

Let's join in here and reduce his evil power! And hopefully, he won't garble this message.

[Eerongal he/him]

you were still rockin' out dial-up in 2006 (guild wars: factions release year)? Man, i feel sorry for you.

[Chaos he/him]

Only when I was at dad's place. Small town in Montana = crappy internet access. When I visited my mom in Portland I had broadband.

[Chaos he/him]

No one wants to join and save the internet... for shame.

[KChan she/her]

I do! Excuse me for not joining the war while fighting the symptoms of walking pneumonia.

Anyways, Shiro must be stopped! This cat form of which you speak wouldn't happen to be related to The Cat, would it?

[Shivertongue he/him]

Ye have the support of the Pirate Monkey Clan! Shiro must be eliminated!

[neverearth she/her]

Shiro seems to be able to split his cat form into two kittens. Beware!

I shall have to form a secret society to oust him from my university, for he seems to have great control over the wifi.  D:

[Eerongal he/him]

Shiro seems to be able to split his cat form into two kittens. Beware!

The bad twin is obviously more powerful, since he's so evil.

[KChan she/her]

D'awwww.

Shiro doesn't seem to hold quite as much power here at FAU; the most he tends to cause are annoyances. Even when I hooked up my own router instead of using the school's wifi, he lurks in the corners, waiting until I'm in the middle of something before prompting me to re-enter my username and password.

We'll get you one day, Shiro...

[Emeralis00 she/her]

Shiro has control of my schools internet connection.

It says its unprotected, but when you try to use it, it asks for the connection password.

[KChan she/her]

FAU does that too. It's so everyone can sign on using their own username and password, rather than having to use one master password. Shiro's just the one who makes those annoying reverification windows keep popping up when you're in the middle of something.

He got ahold of my internet the other day. I was disconnecting constantly. What a pain. e_e

[Chaos he/him]

It's always Shiro's fault.

[Comatose he/him]

If you ever wonder where Shiro goes when he is not causing problems online, I'm pretty sure he stays in my computer.  Like his nest or something.  It's really frustrating me. 

[Chaos he/him]

If you ever wonder where Shiro goes when he is not causing problems online, I'm pretty sure he stays in my computer.  Like his nest or something.  It's really frustrating me. 

Yeah, he certainly likes to torment you.

[Comatose he/him]

I recommend sleeping with the enemy.  I will let you know the success rate.

[KChan she/her]

It's obviously not a very good idea. Shiro's strength has only increased since then.

[Chaos he/him]

Shiro has really been strong this past night in the upgrade process. Our Skype call kept dropping...

[KChan she/her]

Hey, if our skype distracted him long enough to get the upgrade up...

[Andrew the Great he/him]

I've become convinced that Shiro controls BYU's internet filters as well. I can't access a good 15 - 30 percent of the sites I want to, and most of them give the reason "byublock" for their blockage, as opposed to the legitimate reasons like "malware" that show up from time to time. The IT department is probably coming to hate my requests to have sites whitelisted by now.

[Chaos he/him]

I've become convinced that Shiro controls BYU's internet filters as well. I can't access a good 15 - 30 percent of the sites I want to, and most of them give the reason "byublock" for their blockage, as opposed to the legitimate reasons like "malware" that show up from time to time. The IT department is probably coming to hate my requests to have sites whitelisted by now.

Jeez, knowing BYU's restriction on housing, I can't even fathom how strict their filters would be. Especially when they are Shiro enhanced.

[Link Von Kelsier Harvey he/him]

Until just last year, BYU actually blocked YouTube. Then intelligent people talked them out of it.

[KChan she/her]

Shiro loves college campuses period. It makes things even worse when they actually help him make us miserable.

[Zayde he/him]

Every time I want to play Resident Evil 5 online with my friend, Shiro seems to be there. Every. Single. Time. It doesn't matter how great my internet is doing that day. As soon as I turn on my PS3 with the intent to play online it's like NOPE. Perhaps Shiro is in league with Wesker...

[KChan she/her]

Or he just possesses PS3s. I have issues with playing online on mine as well.

[Chaos he/him]

Every time I want to play Resident Evil 5 online with my friend, Shiro seems to be there. Every. Single. Time. It doesn't matter how great my internet is doing that day. As soon as I turn on my PS3 with the intent to play online it's like NOPE. Perhaps Shiro is in league with Wesker...

Shiro is in league with everyone.

Or he just possesses PS3s. I have issues with playing online on mine as well.

Since when do you have a PS3? This is news to me.