The Relationship Advice Thread, by Dr. Calano

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

6 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

lol.

Me too sometimes, buddy, me too...  

But, hey, you can't be as old fashioned as a friend of mine... long story short, he and I have a lot of disagreements.

im old fashioned in the sense that i would rather "court" a girl than "date" her if that makes any sense. also, chivalry.

[The Wandering Wizard he/him]

8 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

im old fashioned in the sense that i would rather "court" a girl than "date" her if that makes any sense. also, chivalry.

Chivalry is very very good to have as pretty much all girls I know greatly appreciate it

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

6 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

im old fashioned in the sense that i would rather "court" a girl than "date" her if that makes any sense. also, chivalry.

I see, I see.

I get that 100%. I understand the whole stuff with wanting something more like courting instead of the casual dating culture we have rn, if that's what you're meaning. 

For me, rn, I don't think I'm mature enough yet for either of those, and, besides, I still need to get over some stupid things I still have in my mindset before I can actually have a respectful relationship with a girl. 

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

34 minutes ago, The Wandering Wizard said:

Chivalry is very very good to have as pretty much all girls I know greatly appreciate it

problem is, i get embarrassed easily lol.

 

31 minutes ago, Thaidakar the Ghostblood said:

I see, I see.

I get that 100%. I understand the whole stuff with wanting something more like courting instead of the casual dating culture we have rn, if that's what you're meaning. 

For me, rn, I don't think I'm mature enough yet for either of those, and, besides, I still need to get over some stupid things I still have in my mindset before I can actually have a respectful relationship with a girl. 

thats totally fair/

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

4 hours ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

problem is, i get embarrassed easily lol.

i have the same problem. yeah it make it hard to make the first move.

[Edema Rue she/her]

6 hours ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

im old fashioned in the sense that i would rather "court" a girl than "date" her if that makes any sense. also, chivalry.

Oh my stars I would way rather be courted than dated-

*coughs* especially the way Mat Cuathon does it.

Man what do we do when NO one can make the first move?? How do we…how…THERE HAVE BEEN THREE FRIDGIN GIRLS CHOICE DANCES IN A ROW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

46 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

Oh my stars I would way rather be courted than dated-

*coughs* especially the way Mat Cuathon does it.

Man what do we do when NO one can make the first move?? How do we…how…THERE HAVE BEEN THREE FRIDGIN GIRLS CHOICE DANCES IN A ROW WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO

correct me if im wrong, but doesnt his wife get taken prisoner? maybe not the best thing lol.

[The cheeseman Don't you dare go Hollow!]

22 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

correct me if im wrong, but doesnt his wife get taken prisoner? maybe not the best thing lol.

Close. That would be Perrin whose wife becomes a prisoner.

[Edema Rue she/her]

39 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

correct me if im wrong, but doesnt his wife get taken prisoner? maybe not the best thing lol.

Mat’s the one who takes his own wife prisoner before she’s his wife (sorta. It’s complicated). Then he gives her a horse

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

15 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

Mat’s the one who takes his own wife prisoner before she’s his wife (sorta. It’s complicated). Then he gives her a horse

yes. that.

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

41 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

Mat’s the one who takes his own wife prisoner before she’s his wife (sorta. It’s complicated). Then he gives her a horse

tecnicaly she was his half-wife when he kidnapped her. he swore his vows not her.

[The cheeseman Don't you dare go Hollow!]

42 minutes ago, Edema Rue said:

Mat’s the one who takes his own wife prisoner before she’s his wife (sorta. It’s complicated). Then he gives her a horse

 

27 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

yes. that.

Huzzah for Stockholm Syndrome!!

[Shardwatcher01 he/him]

13 hours ago, Edema Rue said:

Ok ok PLEASE don’t be a dry texter. A lot of guys I know are fantastic to talk to in real life, and then you text them and it’s like they’ve been possessed by a demon who can only respond with “cool”. For the love of all the slugs in the cytoverse, have a normal conversation

my problem isnt being dry its actually being able to hold the conversation. its so sad i just dont know how to keep it going. anyone have anything?

[The cheeseman Don't you dare go Hollow!]

7 minutes ago, Shardwatcher01 said:

my problem isnt being dry its actually being able to hold the conversation. its so sad i just dont know how to keep it going. anyone have anything?

Ask questions. Even if they seem mundane, people in general like it when you show interest in their life. Did she tell you a hobby she has that you don't know much about? Ask about it. Does she like to make food? Ask about that. Questions are a pretty solid way to keep a conversation going.

[Bird Furious she/her/un/important]

12 minutes ago, Shardwatcher01 said:

my problem isnt being dry its actually being able to hold the conversation. its so sad i just dont know how to keep it going. anyone have anything?

3 minutes ago, The cheeseman said:

Ask questions. Even if they seem mundane, people in general like it when you show interest in their life. Did she tell you a hobby she has that you don't know much about? Ask about it. Does she like to make food? Ask about that. Questions are a pretty solid way to keep a conversation going.

Questions are solid. Also, it helps if you're witty. Connections are good too--- like if you both like to draw, talk about how hard it is to draw feet. 

[Weaver of Shadows he/him]

Questions are always good. If there’s something that she likes, ask specifics about it, people like it when you show interest in things they’re interested in.

[Shardwatcher01 he/him]

15 minutes ago, The Halcyon Girl said:

Questions are solid. Also, it helps if you're witty. Connections are good too--- like if you both like to draw, talk about how hard it is to draw feet. 

yea but I'm also pretty sure she likes someone else, and so im just not sure how to approach anything

[Lego Mistborn he/him]

6 hours ago, Shardwatcher01 said:

yea but I'm also pretty sure she likes someone else, and so im just not sure how to approach anything

Get to know her first before you worry about anything else.

But also, don't be too crestfallen if she starts dating the other person while you're talking to her and don't ghost her if she does. 

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

9 hours ago, Shardwatcher01 said:

my problem isnt being dry its actually being able to hold the conversation. its so sad i just dont know how to keep it going. anyone have anything?

find common ground. or, in my case, give them hypothetical moral scenarios.

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

3 minutes ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

hypothetical moral scenarios.

how does that work?

[Ookla de los Cuervos he/him]

Just now, RoyalBeeMage said:

how does that work?

put someone into a morally challenging scenario, then ask what they would do.

[RoyalBeeMage he/him]

1 minute ago, TheRavenHasLanded said:

put someone into a morally challenging scenario, then ask what they would do.

huh. that kind of makes sense in a non sensual way

[Just-A-Stick she/her]

*sigh*

Guys, I'm trying to talk to this guy, and I think he just doesn't care that much...

He kinda just ghosts a lot and I feel like I have to carry the convo by myself, and everything feels tight and awkward...  

It's almost stressful, cause I don't know how to act anymore...?

Help me plz o-O

Edited February 20, 2024 by Just-A-Stick

[Lego Mistborn he/him]

If he wants to get to know you, he'll put in the effort to talk to you 

The only thing that could be keeping him from doing so would be nerves, but it's easy to tell if you talk in person.

Ultimately, give it a shot or don't, but if he doesn't appreciate how awesome you are, then there's clearly someone else out there for you.

[Thaidakar the Ghostblood he/him]

9 hours ago, Just-A-Stick said:

*sigh*

Guys, I'm trying to talk to this guy, and I think he just doesn't care that much...

He kinda just ghosts a lot and I feel like I have to carry the convo by myself, and everything feels tight and awkward...  

It's almost stressful, cause I don't know how to act anymore...?

Help me plz o-O

Either he has no clue what to say and is an idiot, like me, or hes not interested. I am inclined to think the first. A lot of guys just have no idea how to talk to girls they may have the slightest of feelings for. In many situations I’ve been in, my sense for carrying conversation has just flew out the window, leaving me having no idea what to talk about even though I do want to talk with them.