Anxiety (Probably?)
So uhm
Ignore that forst likne
So I think I posted or wrote baout this before, at least abstractly/indirectly, but ima talk about axniety or something like that in publiccccc but in my head.
so its related if any of you remeber me talkingabout the futue seeming impossible. i think its the same feeling, but i think i undeestnd it a bit more.
i did a bike ride around public yesterday, and it was great. *but,* i was anxious before it cuz it felt impossible and i didnt want to do it and i hadnt rode a bike in years also.
but in my head i imagined it as me careening (is that the right word?) through the streets and stuff and maybe downhill too with people and cars everywhere and having to look back and forth each way and having my vision partially obsreucted though and basically i imaged it NOT as a pleasant experience. i insgined having to worry about running into someone or sumomething or being eun into or sinply just like not following the road and not moving in time etc...
the only thing eeason helped me is that i told myself that ive felt this before but when i actually do it and go into public or whatever then its actually pretty fine, and also kinda if it has bad stuff i can desl with it in the moment. like, i told myself to.. idk? like i also just pictured myself kinda succesfuly doing it (biking), and like told myself to do it cuz i know its less worse than i think.
so yeah.
and it wnded up being good! there were also uhh not many people/cars around anyway so lol but still. or maybe just not as many as id catastophized....
as for other anxieties . well... those are stormin' aplenty ....
at least i think
hehe
now ive just been sitting here tellin myself "wdym lol, ofc you dont have anxiety u fool uwu lol storm u :3" or something similiæ.
ok so not wuite that bad but thats what i usually would say, or worse. but snyway i hav immense brain fog i think today so i literally just like.. either cant think of feel like i cant think, and i cant come to any conclusions or definites. because asking myself if i actually have depression or anxiety or whatever the ado requires me . well it leads me to then have to question everything and review and remember and ado i cant do that so i cant come to a definite/conlucsion, so yeh. or at leadt something like that .
but i have that same anxiety like the biking one about lots of things future-wise and ado i hate ittttt
it makes everything so... idk, hard? like it just makes me worry and i just cant stormin do it or think abt it and like even if the plan is alresdy set i just doubt or question or worry about how itll go and damn nnnnn......
uhh was i gunna say sumtin ewse?
idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
i guess like i really am not living in the moment brooooo
edit: oh yeah and uh the brain fog thingies that i said make it hard to do these weird analysises or thinkings or whatever the ado they are, like thinking about what i think. unles ive idk .. thought about it? tehe :3 i mean like uwu when i ... when i ..what was i gunna say ........ when its when i have a prompt sorta
idk naybe its <half-formulated thiught>
Edited by Usseewa
41 Comments
Recommended Comments