8 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Im writing a lot of lyrics for a band with a friend that are stupid depressing. Not saying its bad to do that, just diversify your output a little. Curious to see what youve cooked up!

 

For reference: 

a chorus to a song called ‘Wraiths’ (chorus screamed), references my friends trauma more than mine

 

“My throat is an open grave,

my life is a broken fate,

i gave you all i had,

you threw it back and laughed,

my love, for me it’s far too late

for me its far too late”

 

and another depressing one thats more me:

 

“Now im stuck

in the spaces between moments,

hoping that you’ll let me out,

so i can live again.

now im stuck,

in these places without movement,

hoping that you’ll let me up,

So I can breathe again.

Now Im stuck.”

I feel so stuck omg..

I have so many themes I've wroten about and so many thoughts I've realized about myself lately. So much.. self-exploration?

I think it was earlier today, I longed to be a child. I probably wrote a poem about it.

nice lyrics btw

ive thunk about song lyric making but yeah idk maybe

Just now, Usseewa said:

I feel so stuck omg..

I have so many themes I've wroten about and so many thoughts I've realized about myself lately. So much.. self-exploration?

I think it was earlier today, I longed to be a child. I probably wrote a poem about it.

See like my initial reaction is that yes I want to be a kid again

but i was also never online and homophobic and lonely 

Just now, Verdance said:

See like my initial reaction is that yes I want to be a kid again

but i was also never online and homophobic and lonely 

The thing is for me it's just "I want to be a kid."

No "again."

I think I mentioned that in the poem too.

Oh also I've been doing this crazy drawing lol. It's not like drawing drawing but it's.. interesting.

i was too lonely. i just want a life  

i missed out on so much it makes me sad and empty inside and longing.

My friend you didn’t miss anything too special to be frank

oh also i FINALLY talked to my therapist about SH stuff and "big" stuff and omg it's both great and like there's a loooot to unpack

so yeah talk to therapyist usually helpful

Are they helping?

1 minute ago, Verdance said:

My friend you didn’t miss anything too special to be frank

Yeah ur probably r—

Oh. I thought you meant on the Shard.

You have no idea what I've missed. You probably missed it too, to be Lily.

I have bad social skills, I had like no friends until very recently (and even they feel... different, somehow). I don't remember, like, any social interaction growing up. Well... I had some, probably more than I think, but honestly some of it was very awkward and I couldn't fully.. be there. I couldn't fully be human then. Couldn't fully be in reality.

Now I'm a(n) ___-year-old.. thing... overwhelmed with the idea of life, overwhelmed with a yearning to live, yet somehow being something suicidal at the same time.

Hell does this mean?

Quote

You probably missed it too, to be Lily.

But yeah all of the above is like 80% exactly my social experience, just without all the church and being stupid and everything 

4 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Are they helping?

i think so

it also really helps to talk about stuff, just to get it out.

i basically.. had something of a panic attack a few nights ago because i had literally no one to talk to. Literally no one. and i also had to do this damn assignment, so i ended up half-succesfuly supressing my overwhelming emotions just to get that thing done.

And a few before that, I felt overwhelmingly anxious and depressed and god i just needed to talk to someone. I ended up talking to therapist the next day or something.

Luckily dumb reddit brought me up to cheer in the hours following.

holy deja vu that's nauseating somehow

anyway

....yeah

ima post some mfd

but do u think i can post SH ones but with TW?

i have a longer Lily one I wrote the 2026/04/22 (day after I left the shard, i think)

2 minutes ago, Verdance said:

Hell does this mean?

But yeah all of the above is like 80% exactly my social experience, just without all the church and being stupid and everything 

"To be [F]rank..."

Hi Frank, how'r'u?

"To be Lily..."

Is to suffer eternally

wdym withuut church and stupid and stuff

also read my "No one to cry to" or whatever poem from a while back that's basically what i felt recently 

Just now, Usseewa said:

i think so

 

it also really helps to talk about stuff, just to get it out.

i basically.. had something of a panic attack a few nights ago because i had literally no one to talk to. Literally no one. and i also had to do this damn assignment, so i ended up half-succesfuly supressing my overwhelming emotions just to get that thing done.

And a few before that, I felt overwhelmingly anxious and depressed and god i just needed to talk to someone. I ended up talking to therapist the next day or something.

Luckily dumb reddit brought me up to cheer in the hours following.

holy deja vu that's nauseating somehow

anyway

....yeah

ima post some mfd

but do u think i can post SH ones but with TW?

i have a longer Lily one I wrote the 2026/04/22 (day after I left the shard, i think)

To answer your question, go for it. Art is art. If youve written a million depressing mfds, i would inquire as to whether you could write a non depressing mfd, but i would still read through all the others cause its really cool to read something with passion and emotion ingrained in it

and uh i recommend you find a friend you can DM at all hours, i or my best friend am never online when i need to be and always online when i dont and so feel trapped when im depressed, so this is also something im trying to achieve 

but having a close friend who cares about you at your fingertips not just because its their job is amazing 

5 minutes ago, Usseewa said:

i think so

 

it also really helps to talk about stuff, just to get it out.

i basically.. had something of a panic attack a few nights ago because i had literally no one to talk to. Literally no one. and i also had to do this damn assignment, so i ended up half-succesfuly supressing my overwhelming emotions just to get that thing done.

And a few before that, I felt overwhelmingly anxious and depressed and god i just needed to talk to someone. I ended up talking to therapist the next day or something.

Luckily dumb reddit brought me up to cheer in the hours following.

holy deja vu that's nauseating somehow

anyway

....yeah

ima post some mfd

but do u think i can post SH ones but with TW?

i have a longer Lily one I wrote the 2026/04/22 (day after I left the shard, i think)

"To be [F]rank..."

Hi Frank, how'r'u?

 

"To be Lily..."

Is to suffer eternally

 

wdym withuut church and stupid and stuff

 

also read my "No one to cry to" or whatever poem from a while back that's basically what i felt recently 

You associate your name with being in pain? Geez.

church is super important to me its where all my irl friends are

You don’t know my irl name right

Its a bible name and means peace or respite, so i associate it with lies or hypocrisy or falling short, since my respite or distraction causes me stress which dominates my life and i could truly rest if only i actually worked hard for once

8 minutes ago, Verdance said:

To answer your question, go for it. Art is art. If youve written a million depressing mfds, i would inquire as to whether you could write a non depressing mfd, but i would still read through all the others cause its really cool to read something with passion and emotion ingrained in it

and uh i recommend you find a friend you can DM at all hours, i or my best friend am never online when i need to be and always online when i dont and so feel trapped when im depressed, so this is also something im trying to achieve 

but having a close friend who cares about you at your fingertips not just because its their job is amazing 

You associate your name with being in pain? Geez.

church is super important to me its where all my irl friends are

You don’t know my irl name right

Its a bible name and means peace or respite, so i associate it with lies or hypocrisy or falling short, since my respite or distraction causes me stress which dominates my life and i could truly rest if only i actually worked hard for once

i was gonna say something... hmm....

got distracted

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

what was i gunna say damn