Podman

Well, I'm pretty sure I've read literally everything except for Dragonsteel and his Wheel of Time books. I would read the Wheel of Time books, except I really don't want to read the whole series, which I would have to do. Though if I could, I would take a trip to Utah just to read Dragonsteel. This is my complete list (I think): Elantris The Hope of Elantris The Emperor's Soul Aether of Night White Sand Prose White Sand Vol. 1 Sixth of the Dusk Mistborn: The Final Empire MB: The Well of Ascension MB: The Hero of Ages MB: The Alloy of Law MB: Shadows of Self MB: The Bands of Mourning MB: Secret History MB: The Eleventh Metal MB: Allomancer Jak's stuff (don't know what title to call it by) The Stormlight Archive: The Way of Kings SA: Words of Radiance SA: Edgedancer Shadows for Silence in the Forests of Hell Warbreaker Arcanum Unbounded: The Cosmere Collection (included extra because of Khriss' essays, etc.) Alcatraz Versus the Evil Librarians Alcatraz Versus the Scrivener's Bones Alcatraz Versus the Knights of Crystallia Alcatraz Versus the Shattered Lens Alcatraz Versus the Dark Talent Infinity Blade: Awakening Infinity Blade: Redemption Legion Legion: Skin Deep Steelheart Mitosis Firefight Calamity The Rithmatist Firstborn Defending Elysium Dreamer Perfect State Snapshot I Hate Dragons (Extended Version) Centrifugal Okay. I think I got them all, but I may have missed some. By my count that's 43 works. And, of course, I've read and reread each of them too many times to count (I basically never read anything non-Sanderson). See if you can beat that!

I agree. The sand master wouldn't have a chance. Duralumin brass or zinc on fear or something, and the sand master will be completely unguarded long enough to drive a coin through his skull.

Granted! Just to be clear: this is a fun simulation of the Nightwatcher, right? So she would hear you ask for this instead of seeing it written down. So... you never find you self in a situation where you don't have your whey. Very healthy. I wish to never smell bad. In both forms. As in, I wish to never smell anything bad, and my body odor is never unpleasant.

Ooh, two wishes to destroy, *ahem*, grant! First, @Nathrangking. Granted. You will never know poverty. You live the rest of your life an incredibly rich man who wants for nothing except a longer lifespan. Enjoy the next two hours as if they were your last! (They are) Second, @BrendenShouse. Oookaay. You outlive the universe itself. And keep living. And living. Honestly, I don't know why you would want that. Anywho, your bane is that your mouth always tastes revolting. And not like you always have stinky socks in your mouth. A microbe attaches itself to your tongue, created specifically for this purpose by me, the Nightwatcher. It changes the taste to something equally revolting every 10 minutes or so, so you never get used to the taste. It also has a rudimentary intelligence that allows it to learn what tastes you hate most and do those more. Enjoy eternity! I wish to always be able to think of good usernames/nicknames. I suck at that.

Oh, oops! I wish to live in Roshar and have a highly intelligent parrot that can speak every language in the history of the world!

Granted. You can speak every language in the history of the world. Your bane is that you get transformed into a parrot and teleported to Alethkar, and live the rest of your life in fear of being encaged in menageries.

Granted. You have no control of the reality you set. I wish for my skin to turn into a ferret.

Wait, I forgot your bane! Your entire body is completely numb for the rest of your infinite life.

Okay, you are an electrum compounder. Your bane is that you are forever onward illiterate, and cannot make intelligible noises. Granted. You can now heal quickly. So quickly and efficiently that you become completely immortal, and when the Sun explodes billions of years later, you experience the excruciating pain, but survive to live in the cold dark of space. I wish for the ability to never have to sleep and have no ill side effects effects.

I agree. At the same time, however, at the end of WoR he tells Jasnah, "'Oh,' Wit said, 'I don't mean the Almighty. Tanavast was a fine enough fellow-bought me drinks once-but he was not God.'"

Okay. Everyone else dies, and you are left completely alone, and incredibly unlucky. Incredibly unlucky. I wish that all the fruit I eat is perfectly ripe.

Granted. In the next edition of Webster's thesaurus, "my will" is listed as a synonym under "the state of reality". You live the rest of your life in fear of cannibalistic squirrel-penguins. "Why?", you ask, seeing as they are cannibalistic? You've been turned into an incredibly obese squirrel-penguin. I wish for: 3 medium sized oranges 2 bags of green grapes 4 cups of Yoplait key lime pie flavored yogurt 1 in season watermelon 2 cans of soup 8 oz of carrots 1 gallon of orange juice 3 cans of soda

Oh, woops. I meant Sel, but you're right.

Nalthis, I think. Think about it- the monks have mysterious rituals that suddenly make them slightly insane and incredibly powerful? I think the bones are somehow spiking them, or something. Just an idea.

Okay, here goes. The Investiture is permanent because it is part of your soul. The two are directly connected, and inseperable, so... when you gift your power to others you die. Your bane is that you cannot retain memory of anything Sanderson related. Books, FAQs, his name, Cosmere, Investiture, etc. So you forgot you have powers. And you can't read anymore Sanderson books. That, and since you have no practice of your powers, you have no control, so you may randomly accidentally gift your powers away at any time. I wish to have the ability to raise and lower my 'stats' at will. Charisma, athletic ability, intelligence, etc.

Cataclysmic! Also, you forgot a wish, so I wish for access to every form of investiture. i.e. I have the powers of a Fullborn, Elantrian, Herald, etc.

Granted, you have perfect clarity of mind of purpose, and have even become 3x smarter than you were before! Then you were suddenly struck dumb and paralyzed, the doctors saying you don't have long to live. Your ultra smart brain can tell your death is imminent so... enjoy your clarity! I wish for an Inquisitor Cat to exist. Inquisicat, if you will.

Okay. You are given a book of the meaning of life. It has everything you want to know. It also has more words than Oathbringer will. And is written completely in binary. Your bane is that you have a sudden dislike of numbers. And reading. I wish that I can command things to snuggle me at will, including but not limited to puppies, bunny rabbits, blankets, etc.

Granted. When you look at people, you also see how long they have left to live, shown in a red bar underneath their name. Underneath that is a blue bar that shows their skill level in what they are currently doing. Also, from now on you despise all MMORPJ's. Your bane is that when you look at books, you see the author, title, genre, length of pages, word count, character count, and all of the main plot spoilers. You also see a meter that tells you how much you would have enjoyed reading the book without having the spoilers. I wish that my taste buds perceive everything as tasting wonderful. Not the same, still variety, but everything tastes delicious.

No wish? Then I will grant you two banes! 1st: Everything you see always appears to be in slightly varying shades of green. 2nd: You will forever lose the ability to walk... with your feet. I wish to be wished upon by a wishing fish to fish a wish or my wish will wish wash away and be wasted. *pauses to take deep breath and bows*

Granted. You own an Inquisinator. It doesn't kill you or anything, because it is broken. A lifeless shell. Basically an oversized toy that parts of it will rot away, leaving heaps of metal scraps. If it does somehow turn on it will, of course, murder you instantly. Your bane is that you have an overpowering, unresistable desire to fix it and turn it on, and that you have been granted the resources to do so. I wish for infinite snow cones.

You forgot to ask for a wish, Krandacth, so I shall give you two boons! Mwahaahaahaaaa! First, from now on whenever you move you have to name the muscle as you move it, sort of like QWOP. If you say the wrong muscle, the muscle you said will move instead. Second, it is impossible for you to memorize any of the muscle names and how they work, so you have to carry around a giant pocketbook full of complex lists and diagrams of the human anatomy! I wish that 50% of all inanimate objects turn become alive in creative ways, and that each new species has ways of reproducing! And that 10% of the remaining 50% come alive into snakes with feet and hands with opposable thumbs that become the dominant species on the Earth!

Deal! You find yourself transported to a distant planet, where food is in limitless supply and everybody is happy! The inhabitants treat you with incredible kindness and respect. Or, they treat your body that way. Instead of oxygen, the atmosphere is comprised mostly of hydrogen, and you die almost instantly. Your bane is that your body was comprised up of components totally different to what is usually on this planet. So, as your body decomposes, all the levels of atmosphere, etc., are shifted slightly, and the near perfect world is turned into a wasted space rock, all the inhabitants dead. You have to live *ahem* die with this on your conscience. I wish to be in possession of all the Shards without the personality change. Also, I wish to have the ability to control all pigeons at will, on the condition that they can control me - and my Shards - at will.

Granted. I wish Wyndle is some day understood, and that Lift will eventually admit he is not a Voidbringer... just kidding! I wish that Wyndle will always remain the best Shardfork of all the land!

You twisted witch!