MirkerLurker

*hug* Doing nothing is tiring. It's draining. As opposite as it sounds, getting moving (physically) - doing some exercising or playing - will usually increase your energy level. Even if it feels like the last thing in the world you want to be doing is pushing yourself to be active. I spent two days last week unmoving. ...as in, actually not moving. Lying on the couch and just...not. For no reason, either. I wasn't physically sick. I wasn't feeling like crem mentally. I could have gotten up. I just...didn't. Something didn't connect. All the thoughts of doing things never made it out of my head. I kind of dissociated; dozed in and out a bit. Stared at the ceiling thinking of doing something. Thinking I really should do something. And boy, did that guilt and self-loathing start swirling around in my head. And I only got more tired. It got harder to think and to move, the more I did nothing. Anyway, so this week I did my workouts like I'm supposed to, and went outside and jogged for a bit, and this week has gotten better, and I have more energy, and actually feel like I'm up to doing things. Enjoying things, even. I dunno if that's what you meant by "do nothing". You might have meant "accomplished nothing", in which case I would point out don't dismiss the things you did work on, even if they didn't accomplish anything. Either way, more hugs incoming. *HUG*

... I'm trying to post a meme but my phone won't let me. I will edit this in the computer later, sorry. WAIT IT'S AT THE END Let's draw a distinction between art and beauty. Art is something created with the intent to provoke emotion. That is why music is art, painting is art, writing is an art, etc. Also why not all art is beautiful. Sometimes the emotion it wants to provoke is unpleasant. Beauty is anything that inspires awe or joy in a person. It did not require intent. So AI can create beauty, but it cannot create art. AI does not have intent; it has purpose - to fulfill the conditions and commands it is given - but a human with intent must give it those conditions and commands, must give it that purpose. Controversial toss-in: Humans learn by studying others' work and mimicking it - generally without their permission, like when we read a book we like and start writing like it - and mashing it up to create our own "style". An author might cite their inspirations if asked, but don't generally include a list of writers whose work they studied in the front of every book they write. An artist might be said to be painting in the style of so-and-so, but it's their own work. They don't need to name the creator of the style unless they straight-up copy, rather than mimic the style. So why is it different when AI does it? (I'm not saying I think there's no difference, I'm playing devil's advocate and poking to see what responses turn up.) *Edit* Aaaaand I forgot to write in my response to this. Thank you brain. How am I doing? Overstimulated. Also happy. It's...a weird back and forth. It feels like my emotions are open. So I'm feeling more happy and joy, yay! But also hearing ALL the noises and feeling ALL the sensations and getting overstimulated much faster than usual. So...tradeoffs, I guess? I'm happy and sunny and crabby and shutting down. It's...weird. The only origami item I know how to make are origami shuriken. So. In my senior year of high school, I missed 50 days. Yes. Fifty. Out of 180. Almost a third of the year. (And was late on a number of days in addition to that.) It was during that year that I got my depression diagnosis. I had to talk to the school counselor and the administrative staff (principle, secretary, etc) and show them the diagnosis, and we came up with a set of expectations for me to meet: go to regular counseling, check in with secretary every day to show I came in, complete missing homework on a schedule we agreed to, and talk to school counselor if I miss more school. It's not great to miss school. But the threat of failing can be addressed by taking to the school about modified expectations. ... I'll grant, each school is different, and you probably need a parent backing you up. But there are ways to address the anxieties your brain is throwing at you. Also, I'm glad you were able to talk to your friend and make up. Wha...asdf No! We DO talk about that!! That is exactly what we should be talking about! Especially in front of kids !! *Twitch twitch* Ok. Play violence should only be done with people we know are ok with it - and we find out if they're ok with it by asking. First off, you're modeling it, so of course he's doing it. You should either: Talk to him about how to ask someone if they're ok with play punches (and start modeling doing that yourself), OR talk to him about how punching someone without permission is not ok, and tell him that he can call you out whenever he sees you doing it. Whatever you choose, make sure that in front of him, you are holding yourself to the same standard you're holding him to. (Yes, we don't actually ask every time we play punch people. But we do only do it with people we know are ok with it, and the way to show him that is with repetition.) Rather than feeling guilty for 'making' your friends worry about you, make a point of asking them for help and letting them in. Let them see that they're helping and feel involved. Speaking as a supportive friend, that is reassuring. Also make sure to ask how they're doing or how their day's been in return. Are either of you you willing to share? ...I can offer an old poem I wrote a while back about depression in trade, if you'd like.

that does sound pretty cool, aside from the...shall we say, unfortunate airport time and companionship. IKR?! Everybody should check out this artist if you don't know her already. Sarah's Scribbles is the name of her 4-koma comics, and she def has anxiety and prolly adhd - her comics about hyperfixation and anxiety are on point. Also pets. And organs. I love her stuff. Look her up, she's great. THAT'S AMAZING!! super super cool, I'm so happy for you.

YES All the best ideas for plotlines, characters, ability synergy...when I should be sleeping, and definitely should not be getting up and writing down, but will forget if I don't. Yep. *hug* That sucks. Question: you can't see the screen because of glasses/vision issues? Also, meme time! AHEM Not naming names... Cuz I'd have to name myself too lol I've gotten mostly better! And y'all should too! You deserve support just as much as the people you support!

Ah, to sleep in a bed of food... Oh right, I came on to post a meme! I realize I missed the "what is sleep" chatter a few days back, but it made me think of this meme. It's so real, guys.

I actually met a guy legit named Hawk. He visited my sword club on one of our open fight nights. He was a decent fighter. Guinea pigs make nests out of their food. I have watched mine literally bury themselves in their food, and then proceed to eat until they fall asleep. I'm like dude. That is the life right there. I love how this whole thing turned out.

Ok, I'm responding to this first. First of all, anxiety attacks will require you to pause what you're doing. That's ok. It's ok to stop and deal with it. (If you don't stop, it will force it and happen anyway, and be worse.) So firstly: It's. Ok. To stop and take time. Yes, even at work. Yes, even at school. Secondly, techniques for panic attacks in the moment: Start any technique by stopping what you're doing and sit down so that you are stable. These can be combined, reordered, whatever - use what helps, don't use what doesn't. And it's ok if you can't remember the specific techniques in the moment. Focus on breathing, calm imagery, move to a quiet space if you can. My favorite is 5-4-3-2-1, which focuses on each of the physical senses in turn. It helps your brain refocus on the here and now and calm the physical aspects of panic (heart rate, breathing, etc) long enough to let you gain a modicum of control, and start processing things with logic. Start with Sight: Take note of 5 things that you can see. (by "take note", I mean take the time to note their characteristics. I.E. "Chair: green, soft, large. Floor: tan, wood grain, old." etc. Then 4 Touch (things you feel - the air in your lungs, the shirt you're wearing, etc.) 3 Sounds, 2 Smells, 1 Taste. (if you screw up the order, that's fine. This whole thing is meant to make you take enough time focusing on physical sensations that your adrenaline has time to peter out.) Ice: Put your wrists (and arms/hands as possible, but prioritize wrists) into ice or supercold water - for no more than five seconds at a time. The sudden cold can shock your central nervous system and interrupt the panic. Star Breathing: With your finger, slowly trace a large star on something - the floor, your leg, your hand, whatever - and breath in as you trace a line out, and out as you trace a line in. In, and out. In, and out. Slowly. Visualization: Close your eyes and choose an image to focus on, something with repetitive movement - a wave on the shore, a pulse of light moving in and out of your body, the air in your lungs moving in and out - and sync your breathing with that movement. Tense and release: Lock and tighten every single muscle in your body (yes, including breathing); hold for a count of ten; then slowly begin releasing one muscle at a time, working in symmetry (so the toes on both feet at the same time, then the ankles together, then the calves, etc). Release your breath slowly as you begin releasing muscles, and inhale just as slowly as you work your way up the body relaxing. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Anxiety management tips for general or long-term management: Get professional help: talk to a therapist or mental health professional and get advice from them. Pay attention to jumping anxiety levels and address them early, before they force a meltdown. Put on music that soothes you, or turn off music. Take 1-minute pauses throughout the day to focus on physical senses (called "mindfulness, you can look up more about it). Set aside a period of quiet time - each day if possible, but definitely regularly. That can be walking in nature, sitting/lying quietly on the floor of your room before bed, meditating; but don't put on music or have a phone or book during this time. It can be short - 15 minutes is great, but even 5 is remarkably helpful for long-term management. Do you sensory stim? Carry fidgets with you. Whether they're chewing objects, or a soft cloth to rub, or puzzle cubes to click and slide around, etc. Talk to people you trust: Whether here or in person, whether a friend or parent or therapist, tell someone when you're having a harder time. Even when they can't "fix" it, it's often relieving to know and feel that someone else knows and cares. They took the time to listen to you. ShatteredDiamond's things are all great too. And to everyone else, I've got plenty of responses for y'all, but I have to go to bed for right now, so for the moment: I love you all, you're doing amazing, and here's a giant hug. *HUG*

FREE ice cream. It's probably a good thing you're not a huge fan of it...though I am struggling a bit with that concept lol. Well today was Fight Night at sword club, so I am definitely Stabby Shremp. But also Ok Shremp. *gasp* Noooooo, really? Neat statistic though. BLASPHEMY I'm going to try this now. It sounds delicious. *hug* I'm sorry. May I recommend? Start looking for a place to live now. Put feelers out, ask around. That way you don't have to panic last-minute, and you can do it a bit at a time, as you're able to handle it, while also handling...all of this. *hug* *hug* hormooooooones. yep. *hug* That sucks. I hope there's a way they can get a test for you. That's rough - the not being believed part, not the drawing! The drawing looks awesome. Your lines are very clean.

Yep yep, this one's a good song too. (surprise surprise) A lot of people have pointed out that being broken can make you beautiful. I will add a different note: It's ok to take healing at your own pace. Healing hurts. It's hard. It tears open old scars. It's exhausting - and if you push it too fast, you burn yourself out again. Healing is good, so good in the long run. But it's not easy, or pleasant, a lot of the time. It's ok to take breaks; it's ok to go slow; it's ok to rest. And then to stand back up and go "ok, back into the fray" when you're ready to start moving again. *hug* Also, you sound a lot like someone I know, and it's kind of amusing. Also also, I like knowing what you sound like. It's nice to have a voice to put to the words you write. I don't really have anything to add, but I love how many different answers you got! *hug* *big wrapping-arms-around hug* That's so hard. I'm sorry. *hug* If you don't mind me asking, when do you turn 18? Are you planning to leave the house the moment you turn 18, or did you mean more the general "graduate and move" thing? Woohoo! Congrats! Also...DISCOUNT ICE CREAM Best job ever.

Ok I'll go back and read through and reply to stuff in a minute but first!! Behold what I found! because ok ok but think about it We're like the dogs. Golden retriever energy is great and wonderful, but this dude's right: the scraggly mutt that wanders into your life is irreplaceable and more special than any other dog will every be. And that's us. We're the scraggly dogs. Miserable, broken, shy, nervous, and absolutely beloved. Everybody remember that broken and hurt doesn't mean less loveable.

oh, homeschool! Cool. But also, that makes sense. ewwww. Yeah that sounds about right though. *hugs* I'm glad you've got a mentor-type person who can relate. That's good. *hug* A way less emotional story than yours, but a guy I knew growing up also changed for the better when he joined the Marines. He was adopted in his tweens (or late elementary? older than usual adoption, anyway), had been in the state system as long as he could remember, and so was, let's say, rather rough around the edges. Very defensive, aggressive. Didn't trust people, acidic to be around. When he hit 18 though, he joined the Marines, and his rough edges...shifted. The defensive behavior now included other people, defending them. The aggressive became strength, and that strength became dependability. He went from actively driving everyone away from him to being the guy everybody asked for help, and half the time they didn't need to cuz he'd already volunteered (or was halfway through doing what needed doing). He's still coarse and rough, but in a playful loving way now, a way that seeks to love those around him, not drive them off. He found himself a girl and got married, working a solid job, and a great guy. Military comes with a lot of hardships, but it's got some strong pros as well. YES oh man. So my grandpa was an EOD (explosive ordinance disposal) in Vietnam. And he had some of the craziest stories...and SO MANY of them. We'd be at a family dinner, and he'd start telling one, and Grandma would go "You've never told me this one!" He also had stories from living in the States afterwards, because turns out when the local fire department finds out you have training in explosive ordinance defusing, they start calling you for help when things come up. ...also he got special permission to keep his truck painted with the EOD symbols, so he drove around in the bomb squad truck. And any time they road-tripped, he would stop at any military or government restricted-access areas and see if he could drive in without showing any ID or anything like that. Turns out the answer is almost always yes, yes he could. Because when the bomb disposal truck shows up, you don't ask questions. Ooh, much sympathy. You've got this. Final grind, let's gooooo! Not just the sum of their actions, but their motivation or intent as well. We judge differently a theft committed in desperation to survive vs a theft committed in boredom or as a challenge. Emotionally, we value the person differently for their intent, their internal self, in addition to their external self. However, we're limited in our ability to perceive someone else's internal self - we have to trust their word on it, and make our own guesses based on watching their external self - so it gets tricky to separate "who they are" from "what they do", given our external perspective. But we do try. How are those (who they are vs what they do) different? Who we are drives what we do. Who we are is the fuel; what we do is the result. They're linked, but they're not the same, I'd say. Maybe "what they do" and "why they do it" roughly equals "who they are"? (I say roughly, because there's a lot of nuance in "why they do it") Or does a child love their mother and father because of what they want them to be? What the parents embody or should be, even when they fail to embody it? Do we love the person, or do we love who we imagine them to be? What do we do when the person we love isn't who we thought they were? And since we're going here, what does it mean to love someone? Is love an emotion? A choice? An action? Is love who we are, or what we do? (I think it's both, btw. It's an emotion, but it's also a choice.) Is loving different than liking? (I also think yes to this one. You can love someone but not like them - or rather, not enjoy them. You can love someone that you don't enjoy. And this is important, because it's important to love yourself even when you don't like yourself.) I think to love someone means to desire their good. To want them to thrive, to seek with your actions to support and care for them. ahem I like going philosophical.

Cute lol. *is hugged* *squeezes back* FREEEEEE! woohoo!

lol I did actually hafta go to bed, so your drag failed! *gets dragged back in time* oh...or not? Yah that makes sense. I just realized it might be worth asking if you knew them - I forget sometimes that not everybody has read stuff like that, and want to make sure we all at least have resources, so we can sort through and figure out what works best for each of us. And what you're doing instead is called "Distraction"! Which is also a valid technique. Which amuses me for some reason. Probably because it sounds silly but actually works. bahaha yep. We had one when I was growing up, and he was super sweet but thought the mop was alive UGH So much sympathy for you. That sounds terrifying. ...I'm...glad it's over now, at least?

Then a Grey is a Greyt pet for you! Eh? Eh? Eyyyy~ ...I'll just show myself out now.

I love that you just embrace that African Greys are AMAZING but also terrifying because they're so smart and social that they can get diagnosable depression if you don't take care of them well, and I'd be terrified that it wouldn't thrive with me. (Not that other animals don't also get depressed and excited and have emotions and need good care - but that Greys need a lot of specific and thoughtful care. And also live really long lives. They're a lifetime companion.) Octopi: Also really smart, funny, and would be a super fun pet. Stoats: Don't know how they do as pets Haha I'm mostly arguing for the sake of arguing. I like animals, period. Dogs are adorable and I love them too. Ferrets are amazing!! I took care of my friend's ferret while she studied abroad, and oh my gosh she was so much fun. Her name was Molly, and she loved to burrow in things and run around playing fetch and tag and tug of war, and she adored the sock drawer a little too much, and she LOVED squeaky toys. If she was out in the house and I couldn't find her, all I needed to do was call her name and squeak a toy, and there would be a sudden *rustle rustle skitter* followed by her little head popping up, and then she'd bounce superfast over to me. And the way they move is so cute! *boing boing* Pretty sure it's doable - you'd need to have both sets of Investiture and the correct trigger/fuel to use each of them, so Stormlight and duralumin respectively. But we know you can use offworld Investiture on other planets as long as you have your fuel (or Dor). So...Hoid is the one to look at, with his multitude of collected Investitures. *hugs* For future cases: Do you know any calming techniques? If you look up panic attack grounding techniques, there are methods you can use to help yourself calm down. Those, and the principles behind them, are useful even when you're not in a full-blown panic attack, but just "everyday" anxiety. My favorite is 5-4-3-2-1 grounding: You focus on physical sensations. First, list 5 things you can see. Then 4 things you can touch/feel. 3 things you can hear. 2 things you can smell. 1 thing you can taste. For each thing you list, take a moment to really experience it - don't just list "blanket, chair, floor, book, box" for sight, for example, but rather "blanket - blue, white flowers, looks fuzzy. Chair: green, lumpy, worn at the edge. Floor: tan, wood texture, grain is uneven." Etc. Same with all the sensations. The same principle can be applied less rigorously, in what's called "mindfulness". Mindfulness is the practice of focusing on your physical sensations to help ground your thoughts and help you be present where you are instead of caught up in your head/thoughts. Similar to 54321, you focus on physical sensations - though you don't need to do it in a strict list. I actually prefer to close my eyes when starting mindfulness, as it helps me calm and focus. Feel my shirt on my shoulders; feel the air moving in my lungs; hear the inhale and exhale; feel the book in my hands, its smooth cover and rough page edges. This helps pull you out of your head for a moment; not permanently, but for enough of a pause to help you feel more in control, and sometimes to let you identify your emotions or their causes more clearly. You don't need to be in a calm quiet space to do this either; it might be harder in an overwhelming location (too much noise, people, etc), but it's useful for helping overstimulation too; instead of fighting the sensations, let them wash over you; hear them, feel them, and let them be. There's other things too, but those are the two I use most often, because my anxiety usually stems from overstimulation of some kind - whether external, or internal (thoughts just won't stop). *twirl* DOGGOS! ohmygosh that's a boston terrier! *hug* Oh no, not you too! I just made a big batch of gollum juice for my household, as half of us here are sick. Not me...yet...but it's probably only a matter of time. You have my sympathy on the chem project. Hope you get better soon and get caught up! (Gollum juice, btw, is what Andy Serkis drank throughout the filming of LotR in order to keep his voice going while talking like Gollum so much, which was really rough on his throat. It's really simple - equal parts honey and lemon juice, toss in some fresh chopped ginger [a healthy amount, no need to peel first], and then simmer on the stove for...oh, till it's fragrant? half an hour to an hour, depending on how strong you want the ginger burn to be. taste and decide when it's done. Stir regularly for the first few minutes until the honey has properly melted into the lemon juice. It's absolutely lovely on a sore throat when taken straight, or can be watered down with hot water to make a 'tea' of sorts. Take hot or cold. Or room temp - however you like. The honey soothes the throat, the lemon juice has lots of vitamin C to boost the immune system, and the ginger helps with any nausea. It's my go-to sick drink.) It's ok to stop. Rather than exploding, it's ok to just let it go. Put it down. Exploding is what happens if you keep putting pressure, and keep forcing things. It's better to put things down by choice, deliberately. And it's ok to do that. It's ok to acknowledge "I can't keep this up right now." And your future is important, but you right now are more important. Here and now, you matter. Your future only matters if you make it there. I don't know what "stopping" would look like for you. If you meant "stop living", then no - not that. But it sounds like you mean "stop trying to meet expectations" or something like that. So: grades are not the be-all end-all of the world. Nor are extracurriculars; nor any of the other "important for your future" things. Your future will look different if you stop prioritizing it. So will your present. And that's ok; it's kind of the point, actually. Yes, you might face challenges in your future if you don't get good grades in high school. You're facing other challenges right now. They aren't less important challenges. Just different ones. And all of those things have solutions. Failing grades don't end your future. They change it, but there are still paths forward. (I'm using grades as an example because that's the typical "you'll ruin your future if!" thing, but this applies to lots of other things. Even relationships; it's ok to tell people "I'm overwhelmed and need a break.") Well, that could have gone a lot worse. I definitely see how that's stressful. And how you're worried he might tell your mom. But I also want to celebrate that it didn't explode, because I've seen and heard those stories, and I'm glad he still loves you and accepts you. *hugs*

NO THEY'RE...ok well yeah they are, but they're cute friendly fluffy ones! They go insane sometimes and dash about at 3am and stare ominously into corner and enjoy causing chaos, but they also sit against you and purr. Dogs are for people who like boring pets. Cats are for people with personality. Snakes and spiders are cool pets though. So are birds. oh if you want worms, go to Oregon. Oh my gosh, the worms there were HUGE. Massive earthworms, absolutely everywhere anytime it rained, which was often. Over a foot long easily, half inch thick, wriggling all over the sidewalks and grass. Fat happy earthworms (My friend got married in Portland, so I got to visit) It's only unhealthy if you actually dissociate. But writing can be a fantastic way of processing too. ...It can be a delicate balance to walk.

OH Oh, you give away rep points when you like a post??? OHHHH Haha I didn't look up how this site works at all, cuz if I did I would've felt overwhelmed, chickened out, and not joined, so I have no idea what any of this is. YES Wheatly in space! And thunder of dragons is my favorite. It's perfect. ...I answered all that in reverse order for some reason...oh well!

Everyone needs these hugs, even if they don't know it. *Gives big cuddle hug* Good job talking to her, and I'm glad that you got it through that there's something "real" wrong. I hope it goes well for you and that you get the kinds of help that you need to work through this. Side note: Asian/Eastern mentality on mental health is interesting, and definitely different than Western - more so than I think a lot of Westerners realize. My mom was invited to Bhutan to teach counseling and psychology there for a year, and had to do a lot of learning their culture and how they approach the idea of health in general to learn how to adapt counseling techniques for their culture. The Bhutanese, at least, are very community-focused - and so the idea of individual happiness is almost foreign to them. The group happiness is your happiness. She wrote her dissertation on the differences between the cultures and the adaptations needed, it was neat. A thunder of dragons. A flutter of butterflies. A leap of leopards. A prickle of porcupines. A murder of crows. Yep! You got this! I think it'll look good. Tell your mom it's a pixie cut if that makes her feel better. Lots of girls wear pixie cuts now. ...My mom wears a pixie cut, for that matter. So it's not just a teenage thing. My opinion on adulthood, summed up in one image: Yes! Love this! You...your school doesn't have water fountains? But...but public buildings are legally required to have water sources available...right? I thought?? I am definitely missing something here (the meaning of the word "rep"), because all I know it for is reps of an exercise, like "next is leg raises, do 20 reps" and let me tell you, that makes no sense in this context I WANT ONE OMG THE SOUND THE LICKING ihavea3dprintericouldmakeonethismusthappen Oh right, and Cosmere instigated a group hug! *HUGS EVERYBODY*

*giant hug* I was gonna say you should use a 504 for that, but hey look, you do, and you already got moved back! Woo!

OOH! Ok. I'm honored to be asked. Well, it's a bit different person to person. But the general feel of it is "I want to be around this person all the time. I want them to look at me like I'm special. Any time we're together/any time we talk, I don't want to leave. I want to be closer to them." There can be feelings of "bubbly" or "sparkly" (not necessarily comfortable, perhaps a bit odd or both a little exciting and a little discomforting). It can feel like feeling connected to someone else in a way that you aren't with anyone else. One quote I like (from one of my friends about her crush) is "They're my favorite person in the whole world." What distinguishes it from platonic favorite? That's hard to define, except that it feels...different. Special; new; unnerving; different. That's not a huge issue. Relationships are different for everyone, plenty of people do online long-distance relationships for a while. And you're not a physical-attraction person, so that's no surprise to me that you're feeling connected to someone through talking, not physical proximity. yes please!

ooooooh yeah trying to not get scolded by the sensei during class for laughing in the middle of drills or instruction...yep haha. I have to sometimes be very carefully not looking at my friend in class. Some days I'm decent at focusing, others...not so much. Phobias! yay! My husband also hates centipedes. He handles dishes, I handle centipedes. Ok slugs' slime is a sensory no for me, but other than that I'm fine with them, I like watching them, and they're cute. And for adorable, house centipedes! I love them! (Hawks and Cosmere, don't look them up)

I love that meme (Sorry for double post, but I can't get the new quote to appear in the edit?? sorries) oh man. Yes. I feel slightly bad about my corrupting influence. But only slightly bad, because it's also hilarious when you and your friends know each other well enough that you don't even have to say anything out loud, you just hear someone say something, give each other "the look" and then burst out laughing.

Dontcha love how we can be like "oh look, death" and be completely unphased, but then a phobia comes along and we're like ALDSKJFSLDFI NOOO For me it's needles. Not gore or blood or slicing - dissections are fascinating, I have a strong stomach - but needles? nope. I'm out. Skeeves me out to no end. I would've loved to go into a medical field, except...needles are everywhere in all of those. That's amazing. I had a jumping spider living in my mailbox last summer. He occasionally came out to say hello. I called him Lucas. He eventually moved on to a new home, and I was sad. Wait I missed responding to these! Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me! And hey now. I said lights and darks. I said nothing about sketchy or dirty innuendo type thoughts. Those are an entirely separate category, and if I have to start sorting those I suddenly have a LOT more work to do... Oh my gosh tho. I was talking to Skye earlier, and I made a comment about how my brain knows lots of things and fancy words but refuses to actually remember them in conversation when I want to use them - except innuendos. That's the only thing my brain can come up with in realtime. And then later on in the conversation, I said something with a double meaning, realized it, tried to clarify, made it worse, said something else and made it even more sketchy, and just about died laughing, because I had just proven my earlier point completely by accident. Seriously. My sense of humor is that of a 16-yr-old boy. I spend so much time saying nothing, because the only things that jump to mind are NOT appropriate for general conversation