Doomslug the Arcane

Granted, but you lose your legs I wish for a nice book

Sure, but you lose understanding of every other literary device I wish to be on time to everything

Larkin

800. Eightttttttt is the magic numberrrrrr yesss it issssssss itsss the magic numberrrrrrrrr

792. https://neal.fun/share-this-page/

Those green blocky hissy whatever thing-ys

97. Get the numbers backward

Granted your bank account has a perfect balance of $0 I wish for December to be named Not Soon Enough.

Sure, September now has a name I guess. January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, Already Here, October, November, and December! You got that kids? Good! NOw LeTS SiNg iT! Januuuuary, Februuuuary, Maaaaarch, Apriiiiiil, Maaaaay, Juuuuune, Julyyy, Augusssst, Allllreaaaaddddy Heeereeee, Octoberrrrr, Noveeeemberrrr, and Deeeeeeecemberrrrrr! I wish for Already Here to be named September

I mean, yeah, I have done that. And I agree it's magical! Just depends on which fruits! Also, while tomatoes are technically fruits, they are still in the vegetable food group. Also, cucumbers, squash, and pumpkins are berries. Soo... yeah, two fields of science warring with each other!

Granted. But the candy is poisoned candy I wish for tootsie rolls to be un-invented

Do Preservation and Ruin even have lights?? I always assumed light was like a Roshar-only thing, although I don't know. Maybe if you mixed lerasium and atium you'd get some super effect or something.

Granted, but all living things within a mile freeze, crack and die. All living things within 5 miles of the sword gain extreme frost-bite. All living things within 50 miles of the sword get regular frostbite. And all living things within 100 miles get hypothermia. I wish for Odium to be splintered in SA 5 so he will not come to Earth

Granted, here is my friend Reese's pieces of eraser I wish for spren to exist in real life.

Granted, but right after you execute your perfect backflip, your whole body will collapse face-first onto the ground. I wish for more time.

"No!" shouted the knight, "Quick," he said to the pawn, "you are small and nimble, go forth and bring us an army!" And so the pawn went, to his side of origin, the black pieces. He stole the two rooks, as they were brainless, and convinced the bishops that God wanted them to fight with them. The black pawns, enticed by the prospect of freedom, stole after the others, hoping to escape their cruel life under the crown. "Good news!" the pawn shouted, "I have brought more pieces!" To his surprise, the pawn realized two of the pawns were gone. "They died," another pawn sniffed, "Their mission did not go as well, the new knights greedily gobbled them up for breakfast." A glint of murder flashed through the pawn's eyes. "We shall have REVENGE!!" He pulled out a nuke, a cruel smile forming on his face. "Uh, excuse me?" One of the bishops said, "There is an army marching on us." The rest of the pieces turned to look, and true to his word, there was an army marching on them. The brown pieces nuked the Stick heretics with fury.

Granted. Here you g- ... Uh... Ooops. I may or may not have accidentally dropped your money in bird poop... I wish for nine lives

There are now three sides on the board, with The Stick dominating the right side of the board. Black and White are squished together on the left. The knights + pawn send out propaganda videos to the new knights, telling them of valor and justice. Hearing that The Stick had a democracy, they thought, Surely this must be the righteous thing to do. So they ditched their pesky monarchies and joined The Stick. The right white knight was clever and freed 5 of his pawn comrades from the crown. "WAR!" Screamed the Originals (The two white knights, two black knights, and one black pawn),

Spensa

Granted. Buuuuuuuuuuuut. It's your 8th life after this one. So. You have a long way to go. Especially since your gonna be living to the ripe old ages for all of your 7 lives before that one. And in your 8th life you life happily, yes, but you also tragically die in a car crash when you're young. I wish that guy was dead.

*Opens mouth* *Closes mouth* "..." "But- But the pizza sauce! And, the fruit! And-" *Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh*

Hey! pinapple on pizza aint't good! It's a disaster! you don't just mix three food groups without consequences!

Everyone is now a shadow of their best self I wish Thanos doesn't exist

Waxillllliuuuummmmmmm comes flyyyyyyyyyinggg outttt and pew pew pewwwwww

The knights applaud the single pawn for outstanding bravery then guilt/shame the others for being weaklings. They also re-paint themselves into Brown(the color of The Stick ) and create a flag, a national anthem, and a pledge of allegiance and create a democracy. Oh and also they took over the e-h files.