Just-A-Stick

"What can I do?"

"How can I help?"

"I love you."

"Are you doing alright?"

"How are you today?"

"Do you need someone to talk to?"

"We are here for you, you need only ask."

These are the things.

I keep getting asked.

By the people who care.

Who love me.

Who are there for me.

Who can help me.

If I let them.

I don't always have the answers.

Hell- no one does!

Me, least of all, sometimes. 

But I have people.

Who are there.

For ME!

They care about ME!

They love ME!

They want to protect ME!

And yet, I still wonder why. 

Why do I deserve this? 

Do you

Have someone?

Who cares?

About you?

Do you have someone?

Can I be your someone?

I care.

About you.

About your heart.

I can love you.

Be there for you.

Or not.

You need only.

Ask. 

WARNING: RANT COMING: DO NOT READ IF YOU DON'T CARE 

Guys! WHY!

What is wrong with our culture and society?

What the STORMS is so bad about asking for help when you need it?

What is wrong with being vulnerable?

Why do we judge people for being honest?

WHY! When someone asks you "How are you today" At the grocery store! You say "Fine." or "Good, how are you?" Because, the truth is, we are scared to come out of our shells for fear of being hurt again. We don't want to burden people. I say something along the lines of "I don't want to bleed my bloody emotional baggage all over you." 

Why are we raised with... this fear of opening up?

What is wrong with people?

Should I put a sticker on my forehead that says "I am in the middle of a mental health crisis right now, thanks for caring!" 

What would that do?

I would get looked at strangely, I might get laughed at. If I get laughed at, at least I made someone happy... Right?

No. Because that's not how we think. Not how we act. We are a corrupt people. 

Why don't we prioritize mental health more?

I have all my labels that I carry around, on my heart. Would it help if they were on my body, too?

Depressed

Anxious

Suicidal

Abused

Hurting

Lonely

Sad

Weird

Deformed

Messed up

Strange

Weak

Broken 

Would that help people? If all of those were written on stickers and stuck to my body? Or printed on my clothing?

Would it help them understand? Or, if they don't even know what I'm talking about, they say "it's not real" or "It's all in your head" or "You'll be fine." or "Stop exaggerating, you're fine!"  or, "Oh you think that's bad? Wait till you hear about this!" 

And they somehow think that's supposed to help me???

I have a lot to process right now. 

"What can I do?" ~ Pray, hugs, check-ins 

"How can I help?" ~ Talk to me, let me know you care

"I love you."  ~ Thank you. I know I don't always say it back, but I say "I know." 

"Are you doing alright?" ~ I'm... working on it.

"How are you today?" ~ Better than Tuesday. 

"Do you need someone to talk to?" ~ Always. 

"We are here for you, you need only ask." ~ Thank you. Asking is hard, but I do try. 

I- Have nothing else to say. 

I am EMPTY.

~ Stick