Wittles
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I almost can't believe I'm saying this, but I think I've found a band that I love about as much as Twenty-One Pilots. My favorite song is no longer a TOP song which feels kind of traitorous, but it's okay because the song just...hitsΒ SO HARD. Just about every time I listen to it I get so emotional and it has legitimately helped me look for hope in an otherwise hopeless time for me and it also has a very strong religious undertone which is never explicitly stated, but it is a powerful one.Β
The song in question is Creature, and the band is Half-Alive. I'm so thankful that there's people who felt compelled to write such a beautiful song. It has seriously helped me so much with the lyrics. Idk if you people will get the same thing out of it, but it is a very spiritual song to me and I wanted to share it.
Life has been kind of sucky, (not gonna lie, it's been a lot more than just a little sucky) and I've been starting to lose my grip on sanity and kind of just really close to the edge of what I can endure physically and mentally lately. My parents have not been very supportive of me as of late and I've been trying so hard to do better, and toΒ beΒ better. I really am improving too. Not as fast as my they'd like, so it's really hard to see myself as anything other than my lowest, so it's especially hard when all of the things I had convinced myself that I was because of an awful injury are expressed by someone else without them even knowing how much it hurts. So l've been really trying to separate what I want and what other people want from me and trying to learn to seek validation and feel success without relying on my parents to tell me what I should be feeling. I haven't had much success though.
The marching band banquet was yesterday. (for people who might not get what that is, it's basically a nice send off/party thing for the end of the season where everyone just kind of hangs out and get their lettering certificates and things for doing good in marching band) Last year I didn't letter, which makes sense. This time last year was a really awful point in my life, and I'm not surprised I didn't. It feels really rewarding to be able to get a Letterman's jacket; it feels like a very physical trophy of how much I've progressed since last year, and it's really helpful and I'm actually not feeling bad about myself, I'm a bit hesitant to say it for some reason, but I feel very proud of myself.Β
Long winded Majora's Mask reference:
SpoilerSpoilerIn the game you loop through the same three days countless times trying to beat the different dungeons and it can get frustrating because sometimes you'll make a big breakthrough, but you didn't get the fast travel point so you have to go back and do a bunch of puzzles and things and it gets really frustrating sometimes. But over time you learn. You figure out how to do things faster. You see what to do and you can reach the next place and then it's possible to keep progressing. Then you get to the Great Bay Temple. It's a huge challenge to get past it, and it is easy to fail and reset and still have no clue what to do. It's easy to give up for a bit because it's just that frustrating. You can get stuck and stop playing for a bit. But if you keep going you can eventually make it past it. You keep going. As you progress, the beauty of the world and its characters starts to be much more apparent and despite the impending doom and an atmosphere of subtle horror, there is beauty to be found in the darkness. Not despite it, but because it allows you to see the contrast and appreciate it so much more. The final challenge you no longer have to reset, but it is the most challenging of them all. But it's easier to push through to the end where a new day awaits because you know even in darkness there is beauty, so the beauty beyond the darkness can only be better than imagined.
metaphor and allusion and symbolism ahead that may or may not make sense
If you don't want to read a rambling analogy about Majora's Mask, I basically said it can feel discouraging when it seems that everything you're working towards slips away when you fail, but that's not true, you know better and can go farther to a place further than before and where you can start from again, and as you experience roadblocks, you repeat again and again, you start to see beauty in the small things despite whatever cloud may hang over everything, and it gives hope and a new motivation to push through to a new day past the dark to a new day of hope.Β
I'm feeling really good today and I really wanted to share that with someone. I've run out of things I wanna say. I hope you people have a good day, and I wish you all strength and courage to get through whatever challenge you may have currently.
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