Wittles

Technically a poem; by Wittles

And now, a rant.

So I don't really hate people. I see that people are trying, and I like to say I see the good in people. I try to be nice to everyone, and I hope I come across that way. I don't like people sometimes, sure, but I don't hate them. There are about 2 people I actively hate, for multiple reasons that are most likely incredibly selfish. One of them is a kid I know from when I used to do gymnastics. He's really good at it, and I was just starting, but I got injured really quickly and couldn't really do sports any more(still can't), and this kid was just a total jerk. He would constantly make fun of my lack of basic and essential skills that my coach apparently thought I had. (That's probably because I had done some previous recreational classes and things before joining the competitive team), so while I was at the beginning and being forced forward far beyond my skill level to practice with this kid. It kinda made me WAAAAAYYYY more self conscious and anxious than I already was. It's only gotten worse in the two or so years since. I probably shouldn't be blaming him for that, but it's hard not to when I look back trying to figure out what caused a lot of my self esteem issues and it's to those moments I remember most clearly. 

Anyway, I thought I wouldn't have to interact with him again after I nearly broke my back and quit gymnastics. Then sophomore year comes around, and he's at my school now. (He is a year younger than me which just makes this probably super petty. But to be fair, he has the confidence/arrogance/volume of someone much older, so I think it evens out). So he's going to my school now, he's a year below me, so I hardly have to even see him. Too bad he's also really smart. Now this year, it turns out the one kid I genuinely hate, sits three feet behind me in math. And he freaking YELLS THE ANSWERS THE ENTIRE CLASS PERIOD. I kid you not, the teacher will put a practice problem on the board and two seconds later he's yelling "I HAVE THE ANSWER!! I'M SO SMART!! I'M THE BEST!!" or something similar. I swear my anxiety's gotten worse just in the month I've been back to school JUST from that class. I'm almost ready to provoke a fight just so he can get in trouble. I am so freaking tired of him and I would genuinely like him to be completely out of my life.

This all feels really petty, and I am most likely being really self absorbed about all this and according to my dad I don't really have a reason to hate him, so why should I be so annoyed and angry at him? It's hard to talk to my dad.

Feel free to say I'm just being a whiny little brat complaining about some obnoxious kid. I just really needed to get some of this out.