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kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

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About kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

  • Birthday 06/22/1926

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    this is the breath
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    she/her
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    in my head
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    drawing
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  1. I just wrote a thing! I'm so proud of myself, seeing as how I haven't been able to write lately. For those of you who are unfamiliar with my novel/characters, here's some background: Elysia is a fantasy kingdom, and the main character (Hadley)'s brother is the heir to the throne. Hadley must be married in order to obtain her inheritance, so her family is trying to sort of "marry her off". She really likes Jaeger at first, and after a few years, they're engaged. Then Jaeger murders the king (Turner) and becomes heir, but only Hadley knows it was Jaeger. He threatens her to keep quiet, and the situation is not good.

    Warning: the work below mentions murder, abuse, and domestic violence. It’s also not super well-written. Reader discretion is advised.

    Spoiler

    My long black dress sweeps the floor, its gold-embossed corset sinching my waist, crown forcing me to hold my head high. Dark makeup lines my eyes, contrasting their pale blue, making me look cold and unfeeling. They have become windows into my grief-ravaged soul. With lips painted the color of blood to match my hair, freshly washed and silky, I glare at my reflection. I look like a queen, but my stomach churns. 

    I feel like a traitor. 

    I’ve laced a bracer onto my wrist, hidden by my dress’s long sleeves. It can hold a small weapon, like a dagger, which is exactly what I slip inside the leather sheath. 

    The clack of heeled shoes clings to me as I walk through the hall, marble on hard leather bouncing off of pillars and high, arched ceilings. It echoes my loneliness and fear as I head for the chambers of the man who killed my brother, the king. 

    Jaeger Yergensen was once the man I loved. He’d promised to give me a life, promised to let me lead armies if that’s what I desired. He promised to love me, to care for me, to fix me when I broke, and then he went and shattered me. Jaeger is a wild animal that needs to be removed from the picture. He will lead Elysia into ruin, and I am the instrument through which he plans to destroy us. 

    My fate is scheduled to be sealed next week if my plan today fails. A white dress is my noose, a crown my cage, a ring my brand. 

    The worst part is I don’t think there’s another way out. 

    Before I realize it, I’m at his door. He’s moved into Turner’s old room, a cold slap in the face. It’s another subtle reminder that he is in control, that he doesn’t care what I think, and that I am merely a tool. I don’t have feelings.

    I don’t bother to knock before I enter. “You called?” My voice is quiet and careful; I have to play the weak, broken princess, or he might sniff out my intentions. 

    “My beautiful Hadley.” He crosses the room to take my hands, kiss my cheek. His blonde hair is disheveled, blue eyes dazzling. “Yes, I called.”

    I avoid his gaze and pull out of his grasp, making my way to a chair. “Is this about our wedding?”

    Jaeger smiles, and my heart leaps, beating hummingbird wings that I quickly crush; its feathers settle in my nauseated stomach. “What else?” He settles on a chaise across from me, lounging comfortably on the red velvet. “I wanted to talk about our color scheme.”

    “Oh.” Currently, our color scheme matches Elysia’s royal colors–gold, green, and white. 

    “See, I think we should do something a bit different. Break some barriers. You like that kind of thing.”

    “What exactly were you thinking?”

    He frowns, obviously puzzled by my reaction. He was expecting me to argue. “I was thinking,” he stands to pace, “White, blue, and silver.”

    “You mean your colors. The Crothan ones.”

    He nods. “I believe it’s more appropriate, seeing as how we’re marrying our two kingdoms. If we’d had the wedding in Crotha, I would have suggested Elysian colors.”

    I realize I’m actually agreeing with him and berate myself for it, standing to pace next to him like we always do. “I see.”

    He pauses, his guard slipping away. He is right in front of my, back turned. This is my chance.

    I grab the hilt of the dagger, trying to be sneaky, but the movement does not escape his notice. I feel myself slam into the wall, hands pinned suddenly above my head. My crown clatters to the floor, lost by inertia. Jaeger is inches from me, and I can feel his hot breath on my face. His fingers slip inside my sleeve, carefully extracting the weapon. 

    “What are you carrying this for?” His voice is suddenly dangerous, edged with a warning. He examines the glinting dagger with his free hand, his other still pinning me.

    I blanch, ears ringing. My head spins, and I have to shut my eyes from nausea. “...emergencies.”

    “Well, I wouldn’t want you to be unprotected. We wouldn’t want another heir dead, now, would we?” His tone is venomous, and the flat of my own cold blade traces the contours of my cheek. “Look at me, Hadley.”

    I squeeze my eyes tighter, and suddenly the knife is at my throat. He can’t hurt me or he’ll lose his fortune, at least not until after next week’s ceremony. So I keep my eyes closed in spite, mostly to hide the tears that would give him a victory.

    “I can give you what you want, Hadley, but don’t you ever cross me, do you understand?” His voice is level and calculated, dripping with malice. “I can take everything away from you.”

    Jaeger seems to be waiting for a response, so I nod slowly. I don’t mean it.

    He seems to be satisfied, so he slips the dagger back inside my bracer and kisses my lips. “Promise you’ll think about the color scheme?” All traces of danger are now absent from his voice, and he releases me. 

    I nod slowly. “I’ll see you at luncheon.”

    In a daze, I leave his room, ignoring my crown on his floor. 

    I have to get away.

    I would love some feedback/constructive critisism if y'all are willing to offer some. :)❤️

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      not to be annoying or anything, but if any of y'all can read and give feedback it would mean a lot :) <333 @SmilingPanda19, @Thaidakar the Ghostblood@Ravenclawjedi42, @chasms,whycan'tithinkofanyoneelse

    3. Ravenclawjedi42

      Ravenclawjedi42

      I like this a lot! One thing is, Hadley mentions needing to be a broken princess and how she needs to play the part, and then immediately after she “pulls out of his grasp,” not following her own advice. This may be intentional, though. Either way, it’s really good!

    4. kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      kajsa ㅇㅅㅇ

      Wait that’s such a good point! Thanks smchhhh for that feedback!!!! 

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