Edema Rue

Ela shrugged. "I'm good, then! Let's go." She started through the crowd back to the doors. That...wasn't what I was expecting when I came in here. Still, this is better. Food can wait. Food could wait, at least for a little while. She paused just outside the inn doors, looking around. "Ah...do you know which way to go?" Storms, but the city was huge. Ela didn't think she'd ever seen anything like it before, not on Roshar at least.

Rue's Room Once in her room, Rue closed the door softly. Then she turned. Her room. It was her room. Her bed, her nightstand, her closet and her little trinkets. She belonged at the clinic, didn't she? It was her home, the closest thing she'd found to one in a long, long time. Since before the tower. Since before...before...Rue sat down on her bed. Then she lay down. A moment later, she was in the world of dreams. She was still in her room, to an extent, but not...not completely. For a moment, Rue looked as she always did; serene, ageless face, red dress, dark hair...then she closed her eyes, and she was a child in a patchwork dress of every color under the sun, and then some. A moment later, a woman appeared in front of her, and Rue opened her eyes and smiled. "Grandma." "Rue, my dear," the woman said. "What's wrong, child?" Rue took a long breath. "I don't know." The woman came forward and pulled Rue into a tight hug. "Well, I won't know either until you tell me, but you can take as long as you need." Rue felt a tear roll down her cheek, and then another and another. For once, she didn't hold them in. She let herself feel. And it hurt. "How do you trust them?" She whispered. "How can you trust anyone?" The woman looked up to the ceiling, which melted away into a vibrant pink sky. "Do you understand what trust is?" "Of course. It's knowing that someone won't hurt you when given the chance." The woman shook her head. "No, my dear. It's believing, not knowing. Never knowing." Rue looked at her, her young eyes wide and afraid. "I can't believe that about anyone." The woman smiled sadly. "No. No, I suppose you can't. You've always lived in a world that you couldn't trust." "But you lived in the same world! You were...you were hurt too. He did this to you, grandma. How can you still believe in trust?" "He did," the woman acknowledged. "But I choose to remember the good things. I choose to remember the moments before he hurt us all. I choose to trust, even when it hurts." "So you're telling me I just need to be strong enough to deal with the pain," Rue snapped. "No, I'm not," the woman said patiently. "I'm just saying that it'll be less lonely." Rue looked away. "Isn't it easier to be a little alone now than to care about someone until they break, until they break you?" The woman smiled sadly. "You've done both. What do you think?" "I don't know. I want to trust someone who's still alive. I...I don't want to be paranoid forever. But I..." Rue trailed off. "Yes?" Rue laughed bitterly. "I'm scared. All these years, and I'm still the same scared little girl I always was." "It's okay to be afraid." "But it's ripping me apart. And I'm using it as a weapon, turning my terror to anger and making sure I hurt them before they hurt me because if I don't...because they will hurt me, they always do, and I won't...I can't...I can't do it. One more betrayal and I'll...I'll snap. I'll become the monster I thought I was protecting people from." "And what if you already are that monster?" Rue looked at her sharply. "I'm only saying your thoughts, my dear. And now...my time is running out for today. I wish I could stay. I'll be here tomorrow..." the woman was fading. "and every day, forever. As long as it takes you." And then she was gone, and Rue was alone. Rue took a breath, then another, and somehow she was soon gasping for breath as tears fell. Finally, she dried them and stood up, changing from the child to herself in an instant. Cold. Hard. Uncaring. And a little bit broken. In the clinic, Rue sat up. She looked around. I need to leave.

Pilly was alone.

Pilly made an excited caterpillar noise and bounded ahead of them, gobbling up all the trees in their path.

Rue watched him go, opening her mouth as if to say something, but closed it. She turned and walked the opposite way, up to her room.

GMHQ Zira, who had been watching the screens, groaned. She reached under the table, into a cage, and pulled out a small white mouse. It squeaked and squirmed in her hand, but couldn't escape. Almost thoughtfully, she brought it to her mouth and bit off its head. The squeaking stopped as blood ran into the soft white fur. Zira quickly brought it to her mouth, careful not to lose a drop of the precious liquid. Then with her other hand she grabbed a mic. "Tributes," she sung into it, her voice echoing through the arena. "You're boring me. I suggest you change that. After all...not every games needs a Victor."

Rue gave him a long, emotionless look, then turned and kept walking. "Do whatever you want, TAAron. But do it without me."

"No, no, I'm fine, really," Ela said, laughing. "But if you're still hungry, I'm happy to wait." She raised an eyebrow at him, almost like a challenge. She didn't have the money to pay him back, and she knew it. Maybe he'd say he didn't expect anything back, but...there was no worse way to start a friendship than with a debt she couldn't pay back, however small. Besides, she'd had an apple that morning. She'd be fine. Whoever was out there, in danger, was more important than her grumbling stomach. She thought about voicing the thought out loud, but...if Lei wanted more to eat, she didn't want to make him feel bad. "Trail's getting colder..."

"Talk to someone I can trust."

"Wait all you like," Rue said. She turned and walked away towards her room.

"Keep your promise," Rue growled softly. Because I'm getting tired of cleaning up everyone else's messes.

Hungry Koloss Diner, Mistwarrens Ela nodded, not responding in case he had anything else to say. Remember, she reminded herself. Remember the ones who hurt, and help them because if you don't, no one else will. "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "That you had to be in those parts, that is. With people who would do something like that." She smiled at him, trying to look hopeful without seeming naive, and probably failing miserably. "I'm not hungry, actually." And I'm almost out of money...but he doesn't need to know that. Telling him would only make me seem like some kind of street urchin. Which I'm not. I'm not, and I won't be. "Are you ready to go, then?" She zipped her pack and stood up.

"Why would I be afraid?"

BECAUSE I MISPELLED MISPELL OKAY

"You can't prove that," Rue said. "Neither of you can." Her voice and eyes were calm, but inside she was...afraid. More afraid than she'd been in a long, long time.

“And why should I trust that you’ll really do it?”

“And if you return us, will you take care of the…other one? Otherwise, TAAron will come right back here.”

Ela nodded. “Sounds good!” There, see, that was fine. She took off a small pack and started digging through it, trying to look somewhat busy. “Do you live here?” She pulled out a water bottle and took a long drink. “It’s a lovely city!”

SO. MUCH. PAIN.

He’s right. Bother. ”Do you have a better option then fighting, then?”