Edema Rue

Ehehehe

so Saturday nights my shift ends at midnight

but it’s still my schedule to be up all night (Don’t worry, I’ll probably go to bed in an hour or 2)

Except my house is all quiet. Because normal people sleep. So I’ve been up all night rereading WoR and…

storms.

I forgot how good it feels just to sit and read a book. Hundreds of pages just fly by, no one texting you, no one telling you to do things. Just you and a story and the silence. 

Work should be done by Wednesday, possibly later but hopefully earlier. School starts next Wednesday. I’m ready.

There’s still a piece of me that’s scared. I’m in a class with 19 other people and I’m fully aware that they all sing better than me, dance better than me, act better than me. In my mind, they are better than me. It’s taken 4 months for me to almost accept that I deserve to be there. I’m still scared; they have talents I don’t, and every time I have to sing in front of them it’ll hurt just as much as it always has.

But that’s okay.

I’m learning that I would rather be too balanced to be successful than too successful to be balanced.

I’m learning, I’m learning, I’m learning.

Last night was hard.

Maybe tomorrow will be hard.

But tonight, I can breathe, and I can smile, and I can remember what it is to forget everything I should be doing and watch Kaladin learn to fly.

So…we’re figuring it out.

Anyway. How are you guys doing?