Edema Rue

To the theatre, regarding jewels:

“Why do you act?”

“What is the theatre to you?”

They have their answers.

To tell stories.

To heal the broken.

To sing.

To dance.

To create something wonderful.

They are all good answers, and I feel them, too.

But they aren’t my answer. Maybe they will be, someday, but not yet.

Right now, I cling to you out of a delicate twist of loneliness and awe.

I stay with you because I see your jewels and I want to know every facet of them.

I want to know the parts that shine in your lights.

I want to know the parts that can fall in love.

I want to know the parts that break.

I want to know the parts that heal.

I want to know every facet of your precious jewels.

And then I want to join them.

I want to shine before an audience and then laugh backstage.

I want to be seen.

I want to be known.

I want to belong.

That is what you are to me. You are a promise of belonging, a promise of protection, a promise that I am not alone and never will be. You are a team, an army, a family, a thieving crew. You are the Edema Ruh, the Bizarre Children, Bridge 4, the Aes Sedai, Le Cirque des Revês. You are a place where I am allowed to find my home in a fiction.

You are a place where I am allowed to shine. To reflect every light I see. To be a mirror…to be a jewel.

When everything else in the world is wrong, you are where it’s right. You are where the rest of the world can fall away in a blur of love and lights and song.

That is…you’re supposed to be.

But maybe

I’ve just been

Imagining that,

Too.

Because it’s all gone,

Now.

Your stage feels dark,

Cold,

Lonely.

And maybe I’ve been fooling myself all along.

But I’d like to hope.

I’d like to believe. 

I’d like to imagine

That you really are

What I’ve always seen.

And I’d like to imagine,

That I can be a part

Of your chest of jewels.

Rue