The Aspiring Archivist
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"Oh. I can do a few typical things, yeah. No elemental magic, or anything special or unique."
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"So poison... what, you might get sick or something?" She seemed to have completely lost any focus on the lecture, instead giving Daniel her full attention. Her bright blue eyes were concerned, but interested.
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"I'm sorry ot hear that. Does the way you die usually mean anything?"
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"Okay," she said quietly. "And for sure, nothing like that happened in this one?"
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"That one time?"
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"I was about to, but if I understand you correctly there isn't actually death involved?"
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"I guess it did. Though maybe next time you have one of these visions you can just be honest about it."
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"I... I can try to make time. I can't say this isn't interesting." She smiled at him. "Calling me pretty was a strange choice."
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"That's alright." She took a deep breath. "So, you want me to show you illusion magic? I really don't know if I have the time. There's a philosophy test coming up soon."
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"Ah. Well that's... something."
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Immediately, the ease disappeared, and the air between them grew tense. "How accurate are these visions, usually?" she asked quietly.
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"...Oh." She seemed to grow more at ease. "What did I do in it?"
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She paused, then turned to him. "You don't know me, Daniel. This is... a bit much, don't you think?"
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"It's strange, but it gets a lot easier once it clicks for the first time."
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The professor droned on in a lecture in the background. Julie hesitated for a long moment before responding. "I don't have much free time these days. I like to do some extra illusion magic when I can, though."
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"...Indeed." She shifted uncomfortably in her seat.
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"I don't think I recognize you," the professor said. "Just... find a seat. If you're late again, you can find me after class so you don't make such a scene." Julie eyed him from her seat near the front of the classroom.
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She stood still, staring at him for a moment. "Um. Okay." Then she headed off, speed walking this time out of care and ignoring her slightly bloodied knees.
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She blushed slightly. "What?"
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"Um... sure, I guess. Why?"
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"I'm Julie. It's, uh, General Magical Theory." She finished gathering her books, and smiled awkwardly at him. "Alright, well, got to go. See you around, Daniel!"
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"I... Yeah. Ow. I'm late for class." She gratefully took the books. "Thanks. What's your name?"
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A girl with messy black hair and an armful of books run past him. She tripped, and crashed into the ground, hard.
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Here's a little update for fun.
After becoming anxious and depressed to the point of non function in early November, I've now been away from school for significantly over a month.
I went to a residential for a little while, but it made a feelings worse. Supposedly that was semi-intentional for therapy reasons, but long story short it wasn't for me, and I got myself pulled out early against medical advice.
I then went to and am currently still in a PHP, which involves being in a place from 9 to 5, Mondays through Fridays. Within each day are 6 different hour-long groups with therapy stuff and psychoeducation. Plus some individual therapy and family stuff.
It's just not working. Nothing helps, barely anything makes sense. I'm doing better overall, because I'm away from school and getting some social interaction, but most of those 40 hours a week are wasted time. I've looked into my thoughts and emotions a lot, and it just doesn't seem that I operate in a way that is typical and works with their frameworks. My brother thinks I probably have autism (he does himself, and I've talked to him about it), but that's not something I can really learn about or look into there. It's exhausting.
On top of all that, not one friend from school has contacted me for the over a month I've been gone. Seems I'm not very important to many people I've known for years, which I guess isn't too surprising.
So yeah. Not too great right now. But for better or for worse, once I'm out of treatment I have the rest of the school year free.
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*hugs*
I get that, feeling like you're not doing anything worthwhile and that you're stuck. I've felt the same and feel it a little bit. I think the best thing to do is try to reach out to other people and not wait for them to do it. It's the next step I'm going to be taking tomorrow. We can get through all of this!
