Thaidakar the Ghostblood

I've been thinking.

A lot.

I've been thinking about a day that will arrive someday. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week nor next month.

But someday.

That day will be a sad day, but it will also be a happy day.

It will probably be one of those bittersweet moments I think of often and cry tears of memory and joy. Of joy from the past and joy to be, and, indeed, joy being had.

This day is not today. It won't be soon, hopefully. It won't inherently need to be soon.

But I see it's approach never the less.

Mat Pat made a video recently. If you don't know who Mat Pat is, then you should at least know the phrase "But that's just a theory. A FILM THEORY." That's him. He's been theorizing for thirteen years on YouTube, and now he's leaving soon. He's going to pass the torch on to other people, other theorists.

That's gotten me in a mood.

Mat Pat knew when he was done. He knew when it was time to move on and do other things, focus on different aspects of his life, live in a way he hadn't done in a long time.

And that makes me think about here, and now, and where I'll be in the next five years.

I love the Shard. I love this site. But the only reason I do is because each and every one of you people are some of the best I have ever met in my life. You are all amazing people, all are so wonderful and just pure awesome. And that's what's so addicting about the Shard. Y'all are so awesome that we just have to keep interacting.

Yet, there's this melancholy that I feel with each interaction. Not from any of you, but from inside of me. I know that the day will come where I leave, finally choosing to never return.

I've made mistakes here, I've made mistakes on any platform, in any space and in all aspects of my life at some point. But leaving...

Somehow, somehow, I don't think that will be one of them.

I am not leaving right now, I'm not going yet. I'm still here. I still want to hang out. But know that one day you'll log on, check your status update and see a behemoth message from me that starts with "Hello there" and ends with "Thank you for everything. Goodbye." I promise that is how it will start and how it will end. 

But, in the end...

that's just a theory.

A Shard theory.