Thaidakar the Ghostblood

You know...

There are some times where you want to watch the world burn while sitting on a balcony, drinking a fine drink, laughing as you feel dread emanating from your very core.

There are times when you want to be the villain with a master plan, the villain who gets to say to the hero, "You thought the world worked like that?

"It never did."

There are times when you want to be the one who finally gets to unleash their bestial tendencies, their inner urges to rip, to tear, to destroy.

There are times when you want to be the one who gets the last laugh, the one who rises above all the others as every single person who ever harmed you, who ever spoke ill of you, who ever hurt those you loved is burned in a cacophony of screams.

Then, you remember who you are, remember the cost, remember all the reasons why not to unleash it all. You remember that you are who you are and to release it all would be to destroy yourself alongside the others. You remember that to give into those bitter, brutal ideas would be to abandon the very thing that makes you you. By winning it all, you lose it all. 

And, so, you settle back into your chair, setting aside your manic plans for world domination, smiling contentedly while thinking, "If only they knew that I see a path for their destruction, yet I will not take it." You abandon the idea of what you could do in favor of what in life you love.

And that is what an hour of my day was after I got a little mad because Math doesn't make sense to me how the book is trying to teach me, even though I know a perfectly good way to solve all the problems in the random backwards way that my mind created for that specific task.