I’m a bit late to the Yumi and the Nightmare Painter discussion. It took me a while to read it; I have a five-year-old and a three-year-old, so I don’t have a lot of reading time.
But, I wanted to point out this bit:
That small passage hit me like a shot through the heart and tears welled in my eyes. It made me realize that I long for someone to say something like that to me.
Without going too much into my personal life, there are things about myself that I’m working on, trying to change and improve. I’ve had only limited success so far, and I’ve backslid a lot. These backslides have been used against me by my loved ones—not necessarily maliciously, but still. The fact that I’m trying has either gone unnoticed by them or it hasn’t mattered to them; results are all that matters.
I don’t want to paint a picture of myself as some innocent victim in what’s been going on with me. I am not. But this passage made me realize how desperately I need someone to tell me that they see that I’m trying. That would ease the burden I feel, would give my efforts more value than I alone can give them.
But I cannot ask for someone to tell me this: If I ask them to say it to me, it will lose all meaning. And I am not posting this for people to reply with sympathy or to tell me that it matters that I’m trying (see previous sentence). I simply have no other outlet for this thought.
I have never related to people who’ve said that a work of fiction has profoundly affected them—not even reading about Kaladin’s struggles in Rhythm of War (I am also a sufferer or chronic depression). I’m glad they experienced that; I just never had. Reading this, however, impacted me with such force that I have not experienced before.