DramaQueen

After wandering Nath's mind for a while, Queen realized something odd. She could sense some emotions, but they were all negative. Where was his happiness? Joy? Love? Trust? Peace? There was only fear, confusion, hatred, and weakness. This must be the problem. How do I retrieve emotions? Queen found a sort of irony in that, while a lack of emotion was the reason for Nath's problems, an overload of emotions was hers. In a flash of realization, Queen suddenly had her Plan A. If it didn't work, she'd find something else, but it was all she could think of. She needed to let out her feelings, while Nath needed more feelings. Perhaps there was a way to balance it out. She found the area in Nath's mind where the emotions were supposed to come from and settled in a comfortable position, both mentally and physically. She blocked herself off from all exterior senses, removing herself from her physical body, which stayed still, sat upon a rock near Nath. Queen first reached into her own mind, removing all walls, barriers, and protections, leaving herself completely exposed, and, as she wasn't really there physically, she would receive no notice if troubles came, but she trusted that Fadran would be able to communicate with her if necessary. Queen sorted through her thoughts and emotions, a jumbled mess of confusion. It was odd, when she was alone and broken after Journey's death, her emotions were so simple and easy to deal with, yet she was cracked and fractured. Now, she was as complete as she had ever been, but her feelings were so complex that she felt she never could identify what she was feeling. She found the darker, negative emotions and set them aside. Nath already had plenty of those, he didn't need hers, too. He didn't need to feel her embarrassment, pain, or sadness, so she tucked them into the corners of her own mind, though not without properly sorting through them first. Yes, she was focused on helping Nathrangking, but that didn't mean she wouldn't do what she could to help herself, as well. Embarrassment; she knew where that came from, but she realized that, not only was she embarrassed that Fadran saw her thoughts, she was embarrassed about the way she handled it. Pain was a bit harder to identify the source of; there were many instances she could think of that would leave her with this. She didn't have much physical pain, just the normal aches and bruises, so that wasn't it. Emotional pain on the other hand...that was something she had an abundance of. The majority of it was still from Journey's death, though there was also plenty from seeing the others suffer. That was why she had trained in medicine; she wanted to be able to help ease the pain she felt when seeing others in pain. A selfish reason, but at the same time, extraordinarily selfless. Her sadness was the hardest to find the source of. She was sad about Journey's death, about the pain of her friends, but she had already clearly sorted those into her pain category. With a jolt, she realized that the cause of her sadness was the fact that Fadran almost certainly knew her feelings for him, but she was still completely in the dark about him. When he spoke to her mentally most recently, he had said that she would always be his friend, but that didn't necessarily mean that that was all...right? Having sorted those emotions, she was ready to move on to the happier, yet more difficult, emotions. Yet another contradiction. Happiness, joy, love, peace, trust...where to begin? Might as well deal with the hardest one first, she thought, delving into the most contradicting emotion of all: Love. The source of pain, concern, and confusion, yet, without it, where would she be? Safe, yet bored. Alone. She couldn't do that again, and that outweighed the negative consequences of allowing oneself to love. Many people had earned her love throughout the course of her life; her parents, her little sister, Tchanta, Journey, and, of course, her friends in this group, including Fadran. Especially Fadran. Queen shook her head, trying to sort out her confusion. She still loved Journey; though he was gone, her feelings for him were not. They hadn't changed or diminished at all. So, how could she allow herself to love Fadran? Yes, she had loved others while she loved Journey before, but that was the love of friendship, family, and trust. Not...whatever this was. Could she even call it love? The same kind of love she had for Journey? Or was it still the same love as the others? Perhaps it was equivalent to the crushes she had had as a young girl. But...no. Her feelings for Fadran were much more than that, yet it was still so different from what she felt for Journey. Not lesser, just...different. Different from anything else, but it was still definitely love. Queen didn't feel like she had really figured out that emotion, but she was much closer than she had been before. She was easily able to sort through the rest of her positive emotions, but she still felt overwhelmed by them. Taking a deep breath, she somehow opened her mind up even more than before. Nath would have been able to faintly sense her before, but now she poured herself into his mind. All of her strong positive feelings flooded from her, sending her experiences of love, joy, and trust into Nath's emotion "chamber." With a jolt, Queen realized that this meant that Nath knew everything she felt. The oddest part was, she didn't care. She had unconsciously known that sharing her emotions with Nath would also mean sharing her private thoughts and opinions with him, and she was fine with it. She trusted Nath and knew that he would keep it to himself, that it could be their shared knowledge. Besides, it was the only way Queen knew to try to help him. The emotions bled back, in part, to Queen's own mind. They were simpler, more manageable, yet somehow still just as strong. Like...she had been carrying a large pile of rocks, then gave it to someone else, after which she had picked up just as many rocks, yet it was easier to carry, knowing that someone had the same amount as her to carry. Feeling better about both her own and Nath's futures, Queen returned to her physical self. She uncrossed her legs, leaned back, closing her eyes against the sun, and smiled a peaceful, joyful smile.

Queen feels something from Nath, and, considering his state, she takes it as permission to search his mind for the door she hoped existed. She began wandering the halls of his mind, somehow able to sense what was behind each door without opening it and without detail. @Nathrangking

"I'll...see what I can find." Nath? I need you to respond. Please? @Nathrangking

Queen chose not to respond with words, though she did send a wave of emotion to Fadran signalling her forgiveness. She searched through Nath's experiences, then cautiously entered his mind, careful to make it clear that she was there. Nath? Can you respond in this state? I need to find a way to help you, and the only place I can think to find that is in your mind. I'm looking for some sort of...door. It'd be locked for both of us, and hopefully be where your missing parts are. Queen turned to Fox. "What is it? How can it help us?"

Queen felt Fadran in her mind again and, by instinct, threw her wall up. Then, she sensed that he wasn't trying to get in this time, he was giving her something. She tentatively opened up a crack, and a flood of emotions and experiences poured into her mind. None of it was Fadran's, though. It was Nath's. Why is he showing me this? She asked herself, then sent her words to Fadran. Why are you showing me this? Is there something I can do? Something to...fix him?

"Think it'll work?" @Condensation

Absolutely. Consider it ignored.

"Yes." Queen relaxed once Fox had taken the medicine. "Does anywhere else hurt? Feel off? Anything?"

No. Never.

You guys are torturing me enough for both me and Condensation. I can't even read some of those!

Queen hesitated, then ate a bite of the medicine. A small headache was more than a fair price to pay to help Fox.

*covers ears and eyes, running away screaming*

Congrats @Sorana!!! 'Twas a battle well-fought!

I don't like any caffeinated drinks. If I had to pick one, it'd probably be Mountain Dew or one of the refreshers from Starbucks.

Queen had heard Fadran approach her while sitting on the rocks, but just ignored him, hoping he would leave, until Fox and Nath appeared. Queen stood, but stayed behind for a bit until she noticed how confused Fox was. She dashed toward her, pulling her hat from her head and rummaging through the toolbelt. Tchanta scampered from her head to her shoulder, watching Queen as she pulled out some sort of flashlight. "Fox, I know you don't know me or any of us, but Herial over there can help Nath. I can help you. I need you to look in my eyes so that this won't blind you." She proceeded to shine the bright light into Fox's eyes, testing the dilation. "She's concussed." Searching through her toolbelt more, Queen emerged with multiple herbs, a flask of water, and a small, light bowl. She carefully poured the water into the bowl, then ripped some of the herbs, putting them in the lukewarm water. She searched around herself until she found a good stick to mash the leaves and water into a paste. After she had done so, she handed the bowl to Fox. "I need you to eat this if you want to feel better. Again, I know you don't remember me and have no reason to trust me, but I promise you that this will help."

Queen shoves her hands in her pockets, forcing herself to keep moving, not react to his voice. Queen! Tchanta shouted, sounding alarmed. Queen, what are you doing? I can't face him right now. I need to be alone. To think. Tchanta fell silent, though Queen could still sense her discomfort and concern. Queen kept moving until she stumbled across a cluster of rocks, where she sat down, concealed.

Queen froze. He was apologizing? What had he seen? She didn't respond, instead walking away from him, fighting back the tears that were there for unknown reasons. She walked with a brisk pace, passing the rest of the group, headed...somewhere. Anywhere besides here. She shouldn't have agreed to this. She should have asked for combat magic training, then she'd be able to fight, and her private thoughts wouldn't have been compromised.

Then what is it?

No, you are not, Lord Ruler. Where did this come from??? One of my favorite lines from the Mistborn trilogy: Another one of my favorite lines, from Alcatraz:

WINNIE FOSTER? FROM TUCK EVERLASTING? If so, you spelled it wrong.

That's incredible. You are a goddess. All hail grammar daydream queen Condensation! I'm sure you can sing. I'm sure you can sing, too.

I hadn't even heard of any of those brands besides A&W... Also, I have a baby cousin with the initials ANW, which, when you say it out loud, sounds a lot like A&W. So that's cool.

Queen felt Fadran enter her mind. She suddenly realized that her barriers would be no match for Fadran's mental powers. He had been working at this for years, maybe decades longer than she had. Frantic, Queen tried patching and strengthening the wall, but her anxious pace only made the cracks worse. She tried shoving the thoughts she wanted hidden to the darkest corners of her mind, but the effort brought those thoughts to the front. The thoughts she hadn't even let herself discover. The reason she was acting so different from her normal self, especially around Fadran himself. She hated to admit it so soon after Journey's death, but twirls, she was starting to develop feelings for this guy. She had to conceal that from him. If he discovered about her what she had only just learned about herself, without giving her time to process those emotions, it would be disastrous! It could ruin the friendship they had developed over the last little while. Using that as her inspiration, Queen did...something. She didn't know what she had done, but her mind cleared of all thoughts. Unfortunately, it was temporary. The thoughts leaked back into her mind, like swirls of mist on a summer day. Unwelcome, yet there nonetheless. In a last, desperate attempt, Queen tore down the wall, flooding Fadran with all of her thoughts, feelings, and impressions, hoping to overwhelm him so that he wouldn't notice the thoughts she wanted--no, needed--to hide.