Quite good! Feedback:
For Kaladin, while reading, especially in later books he seems a little more sad, with some happy parts in between. I feel like the song ends a little too happy, if you know what I mean, but I think it was a good part. Maybe have that nearer the middle and then something else at the end?
Sylphrina: First, not happy enough. Sly is bursting with joy and curiosity and I feel like maybe should be a contrast to Kaladin. She's just a bundle of joy. I think it would also sound better if it was a little faster.
These are just ideas, and I do think that they sound good.