The Awakened Salad

Sloppy

Truthless stuck her heart back together with bubblegum.

*Eats a carrot*

The pair embraced.

Why do I get the feeling that Hoid would find this hilarious. He’d either be competing disguised as someone else or hiding in the background having the best time of his life.

I’ve seen a video where a guy goes to sleep next a to leopard and doesn’t get eaten. So... we have that. And cats can be all fluffy and snuggly and affectionate if you get to know them .

Salad asked why everyone was calling themselves narrators.

But cattttts!

Enchanting

*Bows awkwardly but then trips* But seriously, I’m going to send a shipping container of gratitude to your house or something. Knowing that I made someone happy(?) with my writing is probably one of the biggest compliments you can give me. Though I’ve never been called a madperson before . (I’m not taking offense, don’t worry). I actually haven’t gotten around to reading Snapshot yet. I’ll push it forward on my reading list.

Yes, we must keep going! The Slip-ups were asked to play at the town’s most prestigious event: The Bubble Blowing Contest.

He’s sworn enemy, Ha, frowned disapprovingly. “Haha,” Ha said.

Chapter One: The Salad Paradox “We’ve got a new mission,” Ene said, hanging up the phone and stuffing it into her pocket. “An individual named The Awakened Salad has had their head explode, but claims to be lying on the floor in a confused state. That can’t be possible it they’re dead.” Her partner nodded. Ene checked her phone. “Apartment 16a, White Sands Avenue. The individual doesn’t seem to be dangerous.” The pair set off down the street towards the apartment. People avoided their gazes as they passed by, noting their shining PSIU badges. The Paradox Special Investigations Unit. At last, they reached the apartment. Ene tried the door, and it swung open with a loud creak. Odd. Had the effects of the paradox already started? The hallway inside was dark. A sickly green light shone from the exit sign across the hall. Ene stepped inside, her footsteps echoing in the too-quiet room. It’s too quiet, Ene thought. This is wrong. When a paradox started, it only affected the individual that caused it and their immediate surroundings. It slowly spread out, and if not stopped, could keep going until it consumed the entire world. But... she had only received the call ten minutes ago. It couldn’t have spread throughout the whole building this quickly, right? She checked the elevator. It was broken. In the real version of this apartment building — the version where the paradox wasn’t happening — the elevator would’ve worked. But in an area being affected by a paradox, most things were reversed. Ene sighed and started up the stairs. Sixteen flights of stairs later, Ene finally stood outside 16a. The paradox distortion was stronger here. Colours were inverted, and it was almost pitch black. No one was around. What could be waiting for her behind this door? There was only one way to find out. Ene twisted the door handle and stepped inside. (Ene for some reason you’re really good at triggering my writing inspiration. Sorry for kind of godmodding you as well.)

There were many bubbles in the future.

I wasn’t expecting to feel sad right now and then this came along . *uses a happy emoticon for some reason*

That sounds really cool! Except my head would probably explode as each paradox was explained and I’d just be left as a confused mess lying on the floor!

*Wins more than whoever posted last*

That made me laugh out loud

*Wins 110%*

Suddenly, a group of banana peels decided to start a rock band.

Travel

After much procrastination, I’ve completed the Golden Deer route in Three Houses. I didn’t find it as engaging as Blue Lions, but it was still a solid route. Onto Crimson Flower! (Yes I started up another playthrough immediately after I finished Golden Deer. Poor Radiant Historia’s been pushed back onto the procrastination pile.) I don’t even know what I’m going to do when Animal Crossing New Horizons comes out. Everything I’m playing will be dropped as soon as it releases.

And hit Renarin by mistake.

*Wins with a terrible acrostic poem* W is for waffles I is for Investiture N is for Nalthis S is for Salad What does it spell? *Wins*

Ironeyes Marsh. If this takes place in Northern Scadrial, imagine the look on people's faces as Death himself struts down the catwalk. Also, Szeth-son-son-Vallano, Truthless of Shinovar, wore white on the day he was to kill a king absolutely destroy the competition in a beauty pageant.