Channelknight Fadran

well

 w h a d d y a    k n o w

I don't like YA fantasy anymore

(Exceptions: Rick Riordan's stuff, Skyward saga, Hunger Games)

And I get that the whole thing about having a bunch of twelve-year-olds save the multiverse is there so a bunch of twelve-year-olds can get into reading. As a kid I sustained myself entirely on Brandon Mull - Five Kingdoms was my first real foray into high fantasy.

But now that I'm an adult? It just... hurts to read. There're always these grown adults sending these children into battle and making stupid decisions to make the kids seem smart and epic. And then some god-level monstrosity finally reawakens from his slumber and is defeated by the power of friendship.

Why am I thinking about this? Maybe because I'm watching Rebels? I really like the series, but the fact that they keep sending Sabine and Ezra into these tough-nut situations on their own usually breaks the immersion a bit for me. Some episodes less so than others - like the one where Ezra infiltrates a squad of Imperial Cadets, because Kanan is all "this is the dumbest idea I've ever had we need to pull him out of there" - but a lot of the time it's like "our plan is to have the mandalorian child run down a whole platoon of stormtroopers as a distraction" and I'm like ??? Child soldiers???

(I do really like Rebels though; not crapping on it or anything)

Maybe I'm thinking about this because I was thinking about some fantasy pet peeves I have - all of which tend to show up in YA fiction at some point or another:

• "We've got company!"
• "I'm not leaving here without [][][]"
• [Two sword fighters glaring at each other while their swords are crossed... like I can't hold eye contact with anyone for the life of me and you're telling me that these people hate each other so much that they can't bear to look away for one second?]
• "Believe in yourself. BELIEVE" (somehow they passed this off in The Lego Movie. I guess Morgan Freeman just has that effect)
• [Wisecracks amid the final battle between the protag and antag, including "oh yeah? well -"]

Objectively the worst thing to ever come out of any of these stories are when the twelve-year-old children form lifelong romantic bonds with each other. No, Harrison the sword boy and Verdi the tank top girl are not in love. No, they did not find their other half at the ripe old age of thirteen. If it's written by a christian then neither of these kids know how babies are made, and you're telling me that they're going to kiss at the end of the story and get married in time for the Era 2 sequel? If your prepubescent tweens are going to be kissing then you need to get an appointment with a psychologist. Meeting your future spouse at that age is called arranged marriage, not true love.

(I have some opinions about the very end of AtLA, in case you cannot tell)

And then these children are beating up the bad guy's soldiers left and right? "It's because they use their wits to fight, not just their muscle" man shut up. No tyrant-king of this fantasy world is going to maintain control over his empire with a bunch of brainless monkey guards. No army consists of a billion muscle machines and three characterized elite warriors. It's like in the Kenobi show how the good guys will whack a stormtrooper in the face and they'll just drop their blaster because reasons.

You want to show the protagonists being capable and thinking on their feet? Give them fewer guards to worry about. Instead of twelve on two make it four on three with tight individual v individual combat. You'll never establish the least bit of tension if the sword child can take out two dozen bad guys on his own.

I know, I know... it's YA. It's written for children. No one's forcing me to read any of it. It just bothers me that there are grown adults who are making the decision to send children into battle because they're their "last hope" or some crap like that. Like maybe if the child has some super powerful magical abilities and is practically incapable of dying (Mob Psycho 100 my beloved), but giving them a slim chance of success on some elite mission? It's not worth endangering these kids over, and it's probably even less worth endangering the mission by leaving it up to a bunch of kids.

Basically, I'm being very conscientious about what happens with my younger characters in the Iconar Collective.

Show of hands:

Who would actually care (or even notice) if I left the Shard forever without notice

I may or may not have read most of One Punch Man in the past... two days? Three?

(I started from where Season 1 left off and finished it this morning)

I always find it funny when a pilot in Star Wars is absolutely putting their entire body weight into pulling the throttle on a starship in order to steer it into some tough maneuver, because it implies that the cockpit has direct mechanical control over the whole ship.

Like for smaller ships maybe, but for cruisers and star destroyers? You can't convince me that the guy at the bridge is directly hooked up to the engines via pistons and axels.

And then when they get hit by ion torpedos they're like "power's down; we don't have steering!"??? You can still steer a car without gas if it's in neutral, and there's not a lot of friction in space. But Fadran you need engines to steer - look at any space scene in Star Wars and tell me if any of the steering comes from the engines.

Whatever. That's just how it be.