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Channelknight Fadran

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Everything posted by Channelknight Fadran

  1. Channelknight Fadran
    "Nothing else on him, sir." The aide tapped his monitor a couple times. "We're reading an unorthodox energy signature. He's releasing it steadily." The officer looked to Strohger. "Care to explain?"
  2. Channelknight Fadran
  3. Channelknight Fadran
    "It was okay. Was it you that was making all those... force stairs, or whatever it was?" Feisyyd raised a hand to stop him. "It's fine, Reel."
  4. Channelknight Fadran
    "It will be up to the Council to decide what becomes of you in that regard. I won't obscure anything that happened - but I don't intend to incriminate you, either." Feisyyd examined him. "I imagine they'll want your lightsaber, though." "Master Feisyyd says he's called Royalos," Nayla replied. "We're waiting for him right now." @The Bookwyrm
  5. Channelknight Fadran
    "Relinquish any items you might have on your person," the officer said, holding out a tray.
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  7. Channelknight Fadran
    "We're reading a reverse signature of sorts, sir." It was an aide that spoke to the officer. "Not sure what it is. It isn't even really releasing any type of regular energy." The officer held out a metal tray. "Relinquish whatever it is you're concealing at once."
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  9. Channelknight Fadran
    "Any weapons, armor, or other equipment to declare?"
  10. Channelknight Fadran
    "Confirm your status: three physical beings, two metaphysical. Strohger, Atra; Vancova, Liran; Vanc, Deti; Lome, Teller; Shim." "That's correct," Ayia replied. "Please exit the vessel in single-file. Keep any grasping appendages above your head."
  11. Channelknight Fadran
    Nayla blushed a little. It was something she did a lot. "Regardless," Feisyyd said, returning his lightsaber, "I think you'll have to stay with us for awhile. At least until we're sure that you're not a threat to anyone."
  12. Channelknight Fadran
    "I'm... Nayla." She peeked out from under her hood. "I'm not a cultist."
  13. Channelknight Fadran
    Feisyyd retracted the blade, then fiddled with the hilt a bit before coming upon the hatch for the green crystal. "This is what powers it."
  14. Channelknight Fadran
    "The beam is slightly unstable, but... better than I would have expected from a kyber that you didn't claim yourself."
  15. Channelknight Fadran
    Feisyyd examined it, then ignited the blade to observe the beam. "Interesting."
  16. Channelknight Fadran
    "Very well, then." She held out a hand. "May I see the lightsaber?"
  17. Channelknight Fadran
    She cocked her head a little. "You're quite adept with the Force."
  18. Channelknight Fadran
    "What can we call you, little one?"
  19. Channelknight Fadran
    "Um... hi, Rukk." Master Feisyyd strode towards the... strange child. "You're no Jedi... so where did you get this?" She took his lightsaber.
  20. Channelknight Fadran
    Fortunately, Master Feisyyd caught him first. A quick shifting of a couple fingers stopped the runaway in his tracks, raising him into the air slightly. Nayla was still mid-flinch, but it didn't take long for her to come to. "Um... are you okay?"
  21. Channelknight Fadran
    "He's Shim," Ayia answered.
  22. Channelknight Fadran

    Finished reading through Act II of the Iconar Collective. A strange phenomena has occured: on the Act I doc I left 83 comments/suggestions, but on the Act II doc (which I think is objectively better) I left 270.

    I... think the reason for this is that with Act I, I could very well just go through entire sections and leave a single comment that says "this sucks - change it." With Act II, the pacing and writing itself was decent enough that I was only finding issues with smaller sections, and thus noticing more fine details.

     

    Anyway, we'll see what happens with Act III. I'm actually looking forward to it - it's my most recent works of writing, and therefore my best. It'll be fun reading over it, and perhaps enlightening to find how I can make it even better.

    1. Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Thaidakar the Ghostblood

      Oooh, nice!

      Looking over writing is both fun and annoying to do. I wish you the best with that, Fadran!

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