Thoughts intruded in her mind. Little fears, little doubts--the things she'd trained herself to let go of. Precaution, not timidness, made for the most efficient mind.
But when she was only half in control of it all, they managed to grow: like a tumor--a cancer.
A cold, dark chamber at the end of a long passageway. The alleyway closed in on itself, growing small, dank, and claustrophobic. Shackles hung from the ceiling, and blood stained the walls. Old wounds, long since healed.
You say that you were taught that weakness is your enemy--and yet you're the one who pushed yourself so far to defeat it.
Corpses covered the alleyway. Ji, Lyanor, Verim, Saaphir. Pacis bullets had pierced them clean through. Doubt. Fear, that she'd fall short and lose them all.
You've come so far, Elya. Look how you've survived, escaped, and fled...
The scar on her shoulder reopened, bled, pained--it burned like fire, screaming like a lost child. She sucked in a breath, pressing a fist to the wound.
...to think that it cost you everything.
Black bled to sapphire. Elya cried out in pain as the Angel of Death tore her dagger back out, trailing droplets of blood.
"Why?"
NO.
Elya grit her teeth, drawing on her powers. She grunted--shouted, even--but bound the dream to her will. Fear, doubt, pain--they were not in control. They did not define her. She grappled them; crushing them down and locking them away. No good thing ever came from giving in to their influence.
Strength meant action. It meant initiative, commitment, control. Perhaps in battle, balance was a means to power; a means to an end. But to end it and hide it away otherwise was to split oneself between two worlds. She'd commanded her fear into cowering, pain into bowing, doubt into shrinking away. If weakness couldn't be destroyed, then she'd beat it into submission, and harness what little strength it might have left.
The alleyway crumbled in on itself, fading to obscurity. Colors and perspectives melted away, textures smoothed, lights snuffed themselves out, and shadow creeped about. Commanding the wretched visions, Elya crushed it all into an oblivion. Darkness in every direction--not a single mote of light to be seen.
Her breaths were deep, but even.
"Am I strong enough?"
She hadn't even specified.
No.
Her eyes flung open as Elya shot awake, gasping loudly for air. The hammock creaked and swayed unnaturally, but she kept her balance well enough--that wasn't her worry. Tank top pressed up against her and hair matted in a cold sweat, she suddenly started shivering. She reached for jacket, pulling it back on without any regard for the myriad of bloodstains inside and out.
She collapsed back into the hammock, trying to steady her breahting. Placing a cold, clammy hand against her forehead, she confirmed her suspicions: fever--and a bad one at that. No wonder her dreams had been so vivid.
The rest of her less-than-immediately-important senses returned to her. Her throat and mouth was dry--when was it that she had last taken a drink of water?
There wasn't any left in her jacket. Voices chatted quietly down below--they seemed like a safe bet.
"...Hello?"