Ark1002

Ark is an Idiot

A screenplay by Ark1002

Ark: "Hey, guys, what should I do today?"

Everyone on ALQ: "GET ON THE ALLEYVERSE!"

Ark: "Ok, sure, why not."

We zoom in on our hero, typing 17th shard into the search bar. His face is concentrated with a laser focus. Nothing him will stop him from posting on the Alleyverse. He scrolls down to the section labeled community, holding his hand posed over the Alleyverse button. And then he goes to Forum Games and Random Stuff.

Ark: "I'll get to it later."

Everyone on ALQ: *sighs*

We zoom in on the moronic main character, who has just clicked on the thread labeled Hurt and Heal- Cosmere Nations. He begins typing Hurt Elendel, heal no one. Then stops, and moves his mouse to the top. He puts a quote box. In it, he types.

Ark: "Sorry in advance about the long post"

As he finishes his quote box, what seems like a thousand voices in unison rise up, all saying one thing

Everyone on ALQ: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARK

We go back to the idiot, who has proceeded to type two paragraphs. The curtain closes.

Scene two

We return to the stupid thick skulled nitwit typing feverishly. He has written eight paragraphs... on a post that could be done with "Hurt Elendel, Heal no one". Finally, he clicks submit, sitting back.

Ark: "Ah, that was fun. But wasn't there something I was supposed to do?"

Everyone on ALQ: "Yes! Respond to the main plot!"

Ark sits back in his chair, musing.

Ark: "Yes, yes, I really do think there was something else to respond to."

Everyone on ALQ: "ALLEYVERSE!!"

Ark: "Oh, that's it! I'll respond to all the ALQ posts!"

Everyone on ALQ: "YESSSSSS!!"

We zoom in on our hero, sitting at his desk, clicking on the Alleyverse subforum, on All Lights Quenched. He goes to the last page, looks at it. Then begins typing in a quote box.

Ark: "Could someone tell me what's going on?"

We watch as the moron proceeds to type three sentences that don't respond to anyone, and leaves the thread to post on art.

Ark: "Nailed it!"

Everyone on ALQ: *Frothing at the mouth and howling in rage*

We zoom away from the idiot main character as he posts a mildly rude comment on art someone worked hard on. The curtains close.

The End