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Mint Heron

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  1. Mint Heron
    "Does this mean I get to be king now?"
  2. Mint Heron
    "Actually as it happens, I had quite accidentally took actions to prevent Amaram from taking actions last night. Too bad his action failed, otherwise I would have been able to complete multiple people's win conditions."
  3. Mint Heron
    "Whoa whoa whoa, Kholin. Why you getting all mad at me? All I did was destroy all the alcohol, get Liss ostracized, and let a herd of chulls into the palace!"
  4. Mint Heron
    "Hi lizgis! How are you doing?" LizgiS's face went white.
  5. Mint Heron
    I looked around, with people dropping like flies. "When does this party end? If it goes on too long, there will be no one left in the court for me to make fun of tomorrow."
  6. Mint Heron
    "AHEM. All cremlings and female cremlings. I have been taking some time to come up with an eulogy for Sadeas." I stood up on top of the last chull that was in the dining hall. I had been keeping anyone from taking it out, as it made a useful thing to stand on. "Sadeas as we all know was one of my favorite people. To make fun of. So his death is quite a blow to my entertainment. And I feel like getting one last jab at him is a good way to conclude our relationship. So what kind of a man was Sadeas? Well- he was a horrible man who would do anything to get power. Or women. Or dignity, although he never quite managed to get the last one. But at the same time, he did do some nice things. Once, he sent his mother a card. Another time, he showed real affection to his wife that he didn't show to the whores. And once he did a glorious trip on his clothes, which was one of my single favorite moments in this court. I had never seen the vivid color on his face before then. He kept the bruise on his knees for at least a week, a true tribute to his embarrassment. However, I do have to give it to him- he helped Dalinar conquer this nation. And that is admirable, even if he did his best to gain as much as possible from doing so, and with as little morals as possible. The sad fact that he died because of his wife, accident or not, is truly hilarious. One cannot help but wonder if perhaps she was at all jealous of the other women Torol had seen before? I cannot say for sure, but it doesn't matter. Learning the exact situation would take some of the joy of guessing how Torol could have died out of this. So, while I will miss insulting his face that looked like a mossy rock, his hands that looked like sausages, his face which could produce the colors of the most vibrant vegetables, and a brain of a chull, I salute Torol Sadeas. I salute your insultability, and I send you with insults off to whatever lies beyond the realm of spirit. May whoever is on the other side pick up on what I saw on you, and continue the tradition of bringing out the most unusual colors in Torol's face, which is truly an art worth learning."
  7. Mint Heron
    "No, I needed Amaram, Ialai, and Sadeas to all die of insults at the same time."
  8. Mint Heron
    I stood in utter shock. "What? Who am I going to make fun of NOW?"
  9. Mint Heron
    I raised an eyebrow at the ruckus. "Well it only took 4 hours for someone to die. Longer than usual at one of these once-in-a-lifetime parties."
  10. Mint Heron
    I woke up from the nap I had been taking. "Clearly this party got a bit boring for me. How about we add a bit more spice?" I put down a fabrial, which suddenly drew all the alcohol in the room towards it, smashing most of the bottles, and causing several lighteyes to give me dirty looks. "Excellent."
  11. Mint Heron
    "Well spotted Amaram! I'm glad you're not disrespecting yourself by being ENTIRELY unobservant."
  12. Mint Heron
    I then proceeded to sing an extremely rude song about Navani's rear end.
  13. Mint Heron
    "Heh, I got that a while back. Got that and perfect pitch."
  14. Mint Heron
    "Aesudan! You should be the next Wit! HA!"
  15. Mint Heron
    I walked back in, munching on a pastry from the long tables full of food. "Welcome back Adolin. Did the girls outside finally throw rocks at you? I figured it was only a matter of time, given how those ones got broken off with. Also, look at all the chulls! They've gotten rid of most of the chulls in here, but the one in the bathroom is still stuck in there!"
  16. Mint Heron
    Huh. How had Aesudan known about my own ruminating upon chasm fiends? No matter. I had so much to do! Liss . “@SE_Renarin_Kholin what are your thoughts on all of this?”
  17. Mint Heron
    "I'm sure I would enjoy watching you try and get that one chull family out of the bathroom."
  18. Mint Heron
    I had forgotten about the reality of chull scat. Not that it made the chaos they were causing any less entertaining, but I hadn't counted on them leaving droppings behind. Sure enough, one of them had also gotten to the salad bar. The chulls certainly had made this whole night infinitely more entertaining. Now, what next? I couldn't just call a bunch of chulls my closing number. I would have to come up with something even more dramatic. Thankfully, with the arrival of some of the last members of the party, there were even more people to insult. Although that probably wouldn't do for Renarin, he was not the kind of person that I would insult. And so I decided to go seek him out. I kicked my chull, and it trudged in the general direction of the remaining Kholins.
  19. Mint Heron
    "Excellent! Thank you, truthless. Chull, would you like a drink?" The chull bleated, and I raised an eyebrow. "Well then. I will refrain from giving you drink."
  20. Mint Heron
    I noticed poor Tearim trying to remove the chulls from the dining hall. I wondered when someone would tell him about the ones in all the other rooms, as well as a few in the hallways, bedrooms, and at least one in a bathroom. That one even had little baby chulls. It would be highly entertaining to see him try and pull that off.
  21. Mint Heron
    "Honestly, this constant cycle of re-explaining what happened is wearing down on my wit. I feel as though your insistence upon getting rid of Adolin was driven by some other sort of factor. Perhaps you really did feel he was the greater threat than Liss. I don't really care at this point. Adolin will come back eventually, and I will continue to be annoyed by Liss." Next, he turned to Sadeas. "Sadeas, did you just offer to help me? How kind of you. Thankfully I have something to do in the next half hour that will be tough to do without a bit of help. I'll refrain from insulting you as I talk to you privately."
  22. Mint Heron
    "Hm, I'll admit something. I heard Aesudan first. And I was already suspicious of you due to a conversation with Navani. I was bouncing around private conversations at the time, trying to figure out what the storms was going on. This makes me feel slightly better about you, but not much better, because you still felt like lying to me was a better solution than telling me the truth. You risked destabilizing a treaty that can have repercussions on the entire world, just for the fear of a few women. Oh, and Gavilar is fine. I think he might actually be enjoying all of this."
  23. Mint Heron
    I leaned down from my chull, and whispered to Klade. "It's really not that hard to made Ialai mad. She hasn't forgiven me ever since I compared her to a rockbud."
  24. Mint Heron
    I heard my King's command, and stood up on my chull. "AHEM. So here's what REALLY happened." "I met with Liss during the night, as we decided to trade win conditions. I, being me, found myself highly unthreatening, and so figured everyone would LOVE to work with me. Other than Sadeas, obviously he never wants to work with me. I also talked to Adolin, a big fan of mine, who also traded win conditions with me. We decided to help Liss spy upon Aesudan, who obviously was quite suspicious. I mean, just look at that dress. Very suspicious. In return, we would help Adolin achieve his win condition, and in the process I would achieve mine!" "But then, Liss leaked out the fact that Adolin wanted to kill someone. He had gotten it in his head that killing the boozy people would save his father from drink. At the same time, she told us that Aesudan had attempted to kill Klade. I am still not sure why she did this. I mean, I wouldn't have cared if she told Adolin that, but told me that Aesudan had actually spied upon Liss. At the same time, the Sadeas's thought that Adolin was after them. I knew he was not, so I assured them as such. Then, Aesudan posted, leading to the accusation coming out that she had tried to kill Klade. But then Gavilar questioned whether my source was correct, so I began to dig. And at that same time, Aesudan revealed that Liss had lied. Then, everyone finished piling upon Adolin despite his- and my- many explanations, and the fact that Liss and her apparent allies caused this entire mess. I'm fairly certain that this means the Sadeas's have it out for the Kholins, although why they would want that makes no sense. Then, to finish up the night, I went with Adolin and released all the chulls into the palace! And now Adolin is out. You are welcome for the explanation." I then sat back down on my chull.
  25. Mint Heron
    I rode statefully into the ballroom, riding a mighty chull. "Yeah, and let's forget the whole fact that he was only considering it, and that I was never going to let him do it. And that he helped me out with this!" I waved my hand at the chull I was riding, who bleated. "I have come to the conclusion that these chulls should run the country now. Look at how creative they are, escaping into the palace! Far more creative than the intrigue going on in this court." I heard a more distant bleat, and chuckled to myself. Next time, perhaps chasmfiends? Something more dramatic than chulls. Or perhaps to make the chulls organize themselves. Now that would be fun. If I could teach them a musical number, perhaps Gavilar would be so impressed that he would declare the chulls as the new highprinces.
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