Hoiditthroughthegrapevine

The Nightwatcher shakes her head in disgust before she, with a pitying look, whispers the baneful word "granted" that hangs in the air in a luminous green puff of mist until it slowly swirls and dissipates. The next thing you know, the nightwatcher's powerful tail swings in and slaps you right across the face as she slithers back into the woods, leaving one more final luminous whispered message hanging in the air "you're welcome". You think how wondrous it is to be suddenly warmed in the chill night air by the involuntary voiding of your bowels from instinctual terror due to your recent brush with death. You also think how great it is that you'll get to drink all your solid food as smoothies as you spit out a mouthful of bloody teeth that thankfully were liberated from the prison of your jaw from the salutary impact of the nightwatcher's tail. All across the land, similar tragedies are likewise perceived as powerfully uplifting strokes of good luck. Also, with everything being looked on as positively as possible, all work towards human progress stops. All tv stations play the same episode of Dora the Explorer on infinite repeat, because, gall darn it, that's good enough. Drivers of buses no longer feel constrained to avoid hitting pedestrians, pedestrians no longer feel constrained to wear clothing, in short you have unleashed an Apocalypse of unprecedented stupidity. The critical faculty is necessary for the proper functioning of society. If people have a positive outlook on everything, irrespective of the merits of that thing, then there is no incentive to improve things. Everyone eats dirt, poops on their kitchen table, and then as they are covered in feces they join hands with their fellow doltish humans and sing twinkle twinkle little star until the cockroaches take over the world. They at least are somewhat discriminating... I wish the world really was as grand as it sounds like it is in Andy Williams version of "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year".

Two captions for this one. Caption 1: Oh, teeheehee, how silly of us. We thought you said to meet up for "The Scattering". Caption 2: Cultivation: Who would have thought that the ultimate power responsible for the creation of all life as we know it was really just a loaf of bread. Rayse and I have picked out our piece of vitamin enriched cosmic power, which one are you going to take Cephandrius? Hoid: I'm not hungry now, I'll probably just get some crumbs later.... And now for something completely different:

I told you, keep that stuff in Shinovar! (Had this one ready, got ninja'd! Here's another interesting Rosharan vignette in need of a caption.)

I like that theory so much, I found the perfect hat for it: Pip pip and a 21 gun salute for Waynalsium.

"Hey guys, have you noticed that Adonalsium has gotten kind of...dark lately??"

@Ammanas, I didn't read them first, I listened to the audiobooks and reluctantly. I was in my early twenties, back in the days when I'd listen to audiobooks and work on illustrations late into the night and sometimes fall sleep on my keyboard. I get your implied point that they are YA books and I was definitely not a YA when I first experienced them, and I was old enough to witness the mass hysteria, err I mean youthful enthusiasm from outside the phenomena. I do think they are good books, but I still think the John Bellairs books are better. The Harry Potter books have fun characters, interesting settings, good dialogue, and the simultaneous alternate world of wizards is a good plot device, but like @TheOoklaThatComesBefore said there are far better books than the HP series out there. That said, I think that the Jim Dale narrated HP audiobooks are some of the finest audiobooks ever recorded. Just to plug Malazan for you Shadowthrone/Kelenved/Ammanas, I think the first 3 Malazan Book of the Fallen audiobooks narrated by Ralph Lister are 3 of the best audiobooks ever recorded as well, and the full 10 book series is one of the best series of books ever written. So if anyone is looking for incredibly good epic fantasy to fill in Sanderson release holes, Malazan is probably the best thing you could read. It is very adult in content, so you should probably be able to vote before you read it, but it is a high water mark in fantasy, the prose is great, the dialog is superb and the world building is the best in any fantasy series I've read. As far as my username goes, it's a pun on the expression which I thought of because of the song, and though I like CCR more than Marvin Gaye, I prefer Marvin's version of that song because the CCR version is about 7 minutes too long (by about 3 minutes in it's been pretty well established that he's heard it through the grapevine, that she's no longer going to be his, and yes he'll most likely lose his mind probably because there's 7 minutes of song left). Controversial opinion: The best version of the song Heard it Through the Grapevine is the one sung by the California Raisins.

That's one of my all time favorite series too, interesting to hear that a live action movie's coming. Have you seen the Amazing World of Gumball Cowboy Bebop opening homage for the episode Barcode Cowboy? It's freaking awesome!

The Harry Potter audiobooks are better than the books. Jim Dale (the narrator) makes an otherwise middling to above average series absolutely fantastic with the quality of his voice acting. John Bellairs books (especially the Johnny Dixon ones) are WAY better than Harry potter. The Brad Strickland ones that were written after Bellairs death are even better than Harry potter. Cheeseballs are not appetizers, they are meals that happen to be spheroids. Assigned reading assignments are good. Enjoyment is not always the point of reading, sometimes you read to learn unpleasant truths. Everyone should read 1984 so that the dystopian future it depicts can be averted. Everyone should read Lord of Flies to understand why Junior Highs are run like minimum security prisons. Internet neoligisms demean the human spirit. Facebook: cave man talk for vanity unbound. Twitter and tweets: celebration of the use of technology to lower the collective intelligence of humanity to the level of a bird's brain (in this scenario intelligence is not addituve, it's the intelligence of the stupid bird in front). Blog and Vlog: Barf and Varf. Etc. Etc. Really controversial opinion, I think long opinionated rants are fun to read. One more controversial opinion, I think egg nog should only be drunk out cartoony bear mugs (where the mug is actually shaped like a bear's head). I don't know what the SI unit for deliciousness is, but I'm sure a bear mug properly employed increases the deliciousness of egg nog by a factor of ten.

I agree with @Toaster Retribution that a Mraize POV would be awesome, but I would like a POV chapter from Thaidikar even more. The type where we would get glimpses of the ghostblood's larger plans and would be given cryptic hints at Thaidikar's identity, vague yet compelling fodder for speculative theories. I would also really like an Ishar interlude POV. His Spanreed communique to Dalinar in OB was awesome, he's the self-proclaimed god king of Roshar, Nale (and his Skybreakers by extension) still takes marching orders from him and he's the freaking fallen Herald of the bondsmiths. That would be an amazing interlude. An Arclo interlude, or a POV from a different Sleepless would be great. A POV from a minor character either visiting the Nightwatcher or shedding some light on what's going on in Rall Elorum would be great too. A Mrall POV would be good, or maybe even an Adrotagia PoV, as long as we learn more about the diagram and possibly get definitive hints that Mrall is the world hopping Kandra.

You're going to splinter yourself to make Heralds, this should be interesting...

Dear Stickin' around, The problem with your stick is that he was splintered. I think like a raspberry pi. the spren in the Song of Listing about Microwave Ovens has to get to the gym. That is not a very convenient religion for you to cook up if you're going through the volitionally inaccessible reaches of the atmosphere. For more information about the first time a young Thaylen girl didn't pluck her brows and decided to take care of a stray cat try to get to know more about the shadow of my favorite holiday season. I think this fact alone makes sense to you, by chance could you please send me a little bit of a heart charm and the thing that splintered? Sincerely apologize for any reason to believe in the storm Striders, Google. Dear Siri, I wish that I could take more naps. Basically I wish that I could sleep as often and as soundly as either my dog or my cat, how can I accomplish this goal? Sincerely Sleepy in Springfield.

Hopefully we'll see Urithiru with the power on (somebody's got to wake the sibling up), I'm with toaster, winds alight about the Horneater Peaks being in the next book, the mention of Odium's forces gathering at Cultivation's shardpool is too big a thread to be left hanging. I'm always hopeful that we'll get some Aimia (preferably Akinah), but I think that is probably doubtful, probably just more mysterious buildup. I would also love to see Rall Elorim, the city of Shadows, Lift's hometown, but this also seems like it will happen in a later book. Nothing's happened storywise in purelake surrounding kingdoms of Barbathanam, Merebethia, Tu Bayla or Yulay (with the exception of the Skybreaker acolyte prisoner hunt), so it would be nice to see something happening in one of those kingdoms, and I would like to see some more of the Pure Lake, especially the place from the Dalinar's vision where it looked like a castle made of Obsidian was projecting up from the Purelake. And like Dalakaar said, it would be nice to see the kingdoms around Urithiru explored/fleshed out through the story. Lots to think about until fall of 2020 or early 2021...

Hey Ho Ashpren (like the Christmasy intro?), Congrats on the, as the romans would write, M posts! I'm a technical illustrator, and have a natural affinity for diagrams, so sign me up as Mr. T. I'll have to think of a twist...I'm wrapping christmas presents right now, will be thinking about this while I wrap. Also, going to see the nutcracker (or as my father in law likes to call it, the butt-wracker) this afternoon, so I'll have a couple of hours to think about the twist then too.

Done make me upvote you!

You totally Naled it! Just Taln it like it is. One thing Ishar, no one could have done it Battar!

@Sorana, I just saw that you were the coveted "Torturer of Heralds" rank and took a screen shot for you.

I don't know how much this has been discussed, I haven't read this whole thread, but Mrall is looking like a pretty good candidate for the World Hopping Kandra. There's this recent WoB from the Skyward release party which is highly suggestive: Hair is difficult for a Kandra to mimic, and the ability to shut off emotions sounds an awful lot like the Blessing of Stability (which endows the Kandra with emotional fortitude, resistance to emotional manipulation, and would imply by extension an ability to suppress/regulate emotions). I honestly never considered that Mrall could be a kandra until I heard @RShara mention it in one of the numerous Felt threads, but this WoB ups the likelihood substantially that WaLDO is in fact BaLDO Mrall.

Hahahahaaha! So good! "Here's a picture of Edgli and her team of lifeless flying Reindeer. I think she said something about having to Return a lot things because of some sort of Endowment Clause." Ok, this one should be fun, here's Cultivation telling off Hoid, what's the caption??:

So pretty simple game, each of the kids in the Family Circus is given a Rosharan Shardic (or near shardic) analog (shown in the diagram below). Then a user posts a caption-less Family Circus cartoon, and the next person has to give the preceding cartoon a caption and then post another caption-less family circus cartoon. Here is the diagram, showing the Family Circus analogs, and to start things out right, it is in need of a caption: * Edited Dramatis Personae update. Dad: Adonalsium Mom: Autonomy I'll update the OP as new cosmere characters are assigned to recurring family circle characters.

Putting the pun in punishment, I sheepishly present to ewe a very baaaad joke. What does a narcissistic male sheep say?

Totally agree with all your points, but I personally am a fan of the Ghostbloods and Sebarial & Palona. A good series needs good villains, and this seems like an excellent pairing to me. Or what might even be better, would be to have Thaidikar be a dark eyes of the 10th nahn, but Sebarial and Palona are working for him. A highprince and his consort taking orders from the lowliest of darkeyes would be a nice twist. Anyway, this is just a speculative prediction, kinda hope I'm wrong, kinda hope I'm right.

On one hand, I agree with you it would be great if Sebarial and Palona were just how they seem ( I like them as characters), but on the other it's just bizarre that he has a James Bond villainesque underperforming underling disposal setup in his private apartments. Sebarial's obviously an eccentric, but a pit covered by planks in a luxuriously furnished room, the contrast there has to be significant in my opinion.

Part of me hopes you are right, how many times does the knife have to get twisted into Shallan's gut? But, I was just rereading the chapter that first made me suspect that Palona and Sebarial might be like the 3-fingered spy and her elderly husband from Cloak and dagger, Chapter 32 Company. It's the chapter were Shallan is recuperating after her battle with Reshiphir under the ministrations of Palona. The Chapter Epigraph is: I don't have the ebook, so I'm going to type this out and emphasize the bits that are particularly unsettling [and add annotations in square brackets]. In text they are light-heartedly dismissed, but I still think that having a pit in your private apartments covered with boards is a super villain red flag: This could totally be a red herring, but before I read this chapter, I had the same view of Sebarial and Palona as you @Govir and @What's a Seawolf?, but the fact that Sebarial is having a shady pit installed in his private apartments, and Palona kind heartedly gives Shallan "citrus" tea, and then proceeds to grill her about what she knows about the unmade, makes me highly suspicious of this pair. The effects highlighted above could just simply be that exhaustion is finally catching up to Shallan, but the drooping eyelids, the yawning, and the absent nodding all sound like an effect of a drug, possibly a truth serum administered in her tea to make sure she wasn't holding anything back about the unmade. One other datum, Palona slips into inane yet reassuring chatter after Shallan yawns and nods absently, maybe this is a sign she knows to look for that efficacious period of the truth serum had run it's course (total speculation but could be the case). One other thing, we as readers know that Ghostbloods all have a visible tattoo that shows their allegiance, and for a lot of the book Sebarial and Palona are only covered by towels making it seem like they should be easily de. This could be intentionally done to up the suprise ante when they dramatically reveal their ghostblood tattoo's during the moment of betrayal. I want to like Palona and Sebarial, but looking at the signs and clues in this chapter, I just can't trust them, and moreover I think this chapter heavily foreshadows that they are at the very least in league with the Ghostbloods, if not the secret leaders of the ghostbloods.

Granted! The Nightwatcher proclaims that you are now a Skybreaker of the 3rd ideal, the surges of gravitation and division are yours to command. You meet your spren, a cute little rip in the air blinking stars at you and you decide to name him Twinkle. But before you can lash yourself up into the sky, the Nightwatcher informs you that your 3rd Ideal, the ideal of dedication, has been sworn for you. You are dedicated to following the will of Nalan, Herald of Justice, and treat his commandments as law. Just as the full significance of this begins to sink in, your external moral code pops up from inside a bush, chewing on what you think might have been a chicken, and his head rotates your direction as he says: I was almost done with this post when you 'd me @goody153. Granted. The Nightwatcher has given you a Pathian earing and Harmony hears your petition, and creates a special splinter of his dual powers just for you. It's a perfectly balanced mixture of preservation and ruin, you can summon this sentient bipartite projection of power at any time. Excited to try out your new powers, you summon your di-spren, and are shocked when a little cartoony angel appears on one shoulder and little cartoony devil appears on the other. The angelic and devilish spren immediately begin bickering about what course of action you should take, it seems that they are telepathic and feel that it is their duty to dispense advice on every single thought that goes through your mind. Frustrated at your inability to think with the constant dualistic arguements going on inside your head, you attempt to dismiss the spren, but you can only summon them whenever you want, not dismiss them whenever you want. Eventually, you are unable to do anything, frozen by the well articulated conflicting arguments against and for every thought that crosses your mind. But, you do glow, so you do get radiant powers. Crap, ninja'ed by @Winds Alight Granted, you always know what the right decision is in any given situation. Your bane is that you lack the moral fortitude to make the right decision, so you spend the rest of your life as an emotional wreck, devastated by your consistent inability to do the right thing. But the Nightwatcher feels bad for you, so you also get the power to shoot donuts out of your fingers. I wish that I was wealthy enough to afford a trip on the SpaceX flight slated for 2023 that is going to fly by the moon, and that I could take a large collection of items up with me to do experiments in zero gravity (like steamer trunk sized collection of things).

I actually think he's going to be a pivotal character, and that his true character is far different from how we've seen him presented so far. My gut feeling is that he is a senior member of the ghostbloods, possibly even Thaidakar. The scene were Shallan meets with him and Palona in his quarters in Urithiru while he's having his floors redone was vaguely sinister and ominous. Why is he really having his floor redone, what's he hiding? I think he plays the crass buffoon to hide in plain sight, so to speak. The other high princes were quick to dismiss him at the Alethi war camps because of his pull my finger kind of jokes while he was quietly building a second center of economic power. This is intentional misdirection, and the fact that he is willing to project such an unflattering public persona is a clear indicator to me of the lengths he is willing to go to to achieve his ends (most likely power through wealth). The fact that the Ghostblood bunker is in Sebarial's warcamp seems to me to be a significant detail. The tenement style building was built with a basement (which is incredibly uncommon and expensive because of the highstorm flooding) and this was built on top of a pre-existing basement structure. This seems like something that at the very least a capable administrator like Sebarial would be aware of. Also, the trophy case collection might in fact be Sebarial's private collection of Cosmere trophies. As evidenced by his quarters in Urithiru, he is a collector and he relishes rare and exquisite items. And since his true genius is in administration, he might be that rare type of collector that sees conquest as the employment of the proper people to secure the items in question, like a wealthy british colonialist from the 19th century that paid someone to go out and secure a tiger pelt for them. I'm going to be rereading Stormlight again pretty soon, and I'll keep my eye out for signs that Sebarial and Palona are more than what they seem. If he really is Thaidakar, then having Shallan stroll so blithely into his confidence must have made him quite happy. I think there will be a moment when Shallan is very vulnerable, and these surrogate parental figures will betray her, kind of like the scene in the 80's movie Cloak and Dagger, where the kid who played Elliot from ET discovers that the kindly old man and woman that have been helping him out are really the evil super spies. Here's a video of that Scene, I saw this when I was a kid and this still gives me chills when I watch it: *EDITED: Added a bit more to the middle portion, I actually really like this theory. The thing that makes Sebarial sympathetic is his relationship with Palona, but that's a closed circle. Horrible, Machiavellian villians can still have a single person that is outside of the cruel logic of the ends justify the means that applies to everyone else. What is the use of power, wealth and prestige if you don't have anyone to share it with. I think Sebarial is like Dr. No, but instead of having a white lap cat, he chooses to have Palona by his side while he gets ready to roll in the dough while the world burns.