Nathrangking
-
Posts
3918 -
Joined
-
Last visited
-
Days Won
8
Content Type
Profiles
News
Forums
Blogs
Gallery
Events
Everything posted by Nathrangking
-
My chapter 2 is set to stun!
-
Past due.
-
- Show previous comments 2 more
-
Overall I like it, the pacing and rate of descriptions is much better than the other chapters. What I think is happening is that the blind man has been transported to some other demotion or is hallucinating. The commas shouldn’t affect the pace too much, they would just break up the sentence structure. I might not be entirely accurate, but either way commas are still needed for the grammar to be correct in some spots. The descriptions could be kept if you spaces them apart a little in some areas with thoughts/actions from the blind man. Another question: Will the blind man stay the main character for the entire book?
-
-
-
Is that true?
-
Those cows say moo.
-
Well what's new?
-
Here's a pickle in brine.
-
Want a mine?
-
Get in line!
-
Read the sign.
-
I can think of two explanations here. 1) Braize as damnation may not be common knowledge. Maybe it is a darkeyed superstition thing. 2) In the moment of her eavesdropping she did not process the information and did not have the time to do so later either.
-
I'll take what's mine!!
-
Just go with the theme.
-
Kelsier (correctly pronounced)
-
Gray.
-
Stray.
-
Monet.
-
Tray.
-
May.
-
If you say so.
-
Cerventes and Quixote vote nay!!
-
Chaucer votes nay!
-
Tolkien votes nay!
-
The whole of the multiverse votes nay.
-
Radiants of Roshar Academy RRA for short. Motto- Your glowing is our top concern.
