Nathrangking

I hope that you enjoy! Let me know what you think as you read. The PDF is fine that was intentional as was the focus on vision. This is meant to be surrealistic experimental piece hence some choices. If you want to read as updates come in follow the thread and if you want vote in the poll.

I have told people that I could spin off the chapter as a separate story if ever I felt like it though now I don't. As far as sympathy if this chapter did not do it more is on its way. The PoV's and uncertainty are key to this story which is neither of the things that you suggested.

*Dematerializes, escapes his grasp, and rematerializes .*

*Sends him on his way.*

*Points at the fully stocked hidden shelf of beers behind the kegs.*

No problem at all I much prefer high quality reviews to quick reviews. Now to unpack as I do! "The writing is very poetic and bordering on flowery - it makes following what is happening a little difficult which might be the point. I'm assuming you are going for what Brandon referred to as stained glass, rather than a clear pane" This is intentional and relates to the surrealism that you see throughout the released materials. "The narration is switching between an omniscient narrator and his own perspective in chapter 1 as well as the prologue, though I didn't notice that in the second chapter - is this intended?" It seems as I go along my skill improves. The subtlety of chapter 2 is that the omniscient narrator is doing much of the heavy lifting here. Though I sprinkled the perspective of the man far more conservatively. "Some context information is being given a little too late for the previous sentence or paragraph to make sense, such as when we are told he shouted after the fact - silence greeted his shout is an example, as is his reaction to the release forms when he asks in outrage what is this before we are told what the problem is, and the answer came in part way though the dialogue from the nurse, and it makes following what is happening a little hard to follow I rather liked some of the descriptions, such as seeing with his left hand, I thought that was a nice touch, along with several others Unclear if he actually is seeing these metaphoric descriptions, or feeling the things described as flowing from him, etc., as he isn't reacting to them - is he perceiving his dialogue becoming snakes which fly filled with poison? That seems to reduce in scenes where he is wearing the glasses, so are they his own attempts to make sense of a world he can't see? On that, it's strange how he was seeing the surreal world - or it was being described, as he doesn't react to it - before putting the glasses back on, which makes me wonder if he has become infected by something, or if he really is just deeply traumatised. Also, the sudden shift into the medival-esque setting was again surreal, though perhaps his seeming under-reaction to that is again an indication he isn't fully whole" This is where a combination of fleshing out a blind character and dealing with the surrealism comes into play. It should raise questions. As far as the world prior to his wearing of the glasses it may or may not be connected to what happens later. "Not exactly sure what was happening with the kingdom - was the nephew's forces attacking the king? Where the invaders the civilians, the men and woman and children being the invaders?" They are the civilians. "it took rereading it to realise it was again metaphors of his throat being seized, and his crown that fell" This was mixture of metaphor with the throat and reality with the crown falling. "trying to figure out if the nephew actually had vanished" He left the room explicitly. As to what is happening and what will be revealed RAFO. Follow the thread to see updates as they come and vote on top. Bonus points if you can tell me the chapter's inspiration. @Shard of Thought Any specific thoughts on the topic? Bonus points if you can tell me the chapter's inspiration.

*Points him to the kegs of beer in the corner.*

I gave him a bushel of apples. He'll be fine.

*Borrows Wayne's lucky hat.*

* Steals Wax's duster.*

Tis a blackhole to end blackholes.

That day was not yesterday!!

That day is not today!!!!

*Hugs* We are here for you!! Life can be rough especially school!! This will pass and things will get better!!

*starts dancing the samba*

*Stands back and watches*

Nice!

*Whining!!!!!!!!!!!!*

*Whines*

I shall have my turkey on rye with tomatoes, lettuce, and pickles!!!!!!!

No worries !! Just keeping my readership informed.

What if I want turkey?

*Winner.*

On chapter 2 what do you opine?

And they are miming.