Marci

Baxter would be gratified* by your show of support, but as he's usually incapable of responding minus the sarcasm or inappropriate humor, you'd probably end up thoroughly disgusted with him, and regret having voiced your original sentiment in the first place. *I know I am! Thanks so much for the encouragement.

Congrats, Mandamon!!

If there's room next week, I'd like to submit. Thanks!

Were you thinking there's a time travel element involved? Or maybe the author is an alien himself; that would give him a definite in.

Bingo!

HA! That's debatable, and highly dependent on what condition his condition is in. Regardless, if he went there'd be snark and an obscene bar tab.

Thanks for reading, Robinski. Hints about Baxter's abilities, and what Kim/Sam know about them, have been sprinkled here and there from the very beginning. I've had trouble figuring out how to get these details across without sounding infodumpy or out of place. Most of the hints were dropped in previous lines of dialog. It looks like I've failed in getting across the idea that Baxter isn't actually the one behind every weird thing happening, here. He's not the only one with powers—he only thinks he is, because he can't remember otherwise. He wasn't responsible for the roses, and he was just as under the influence of magic as Kim, though he's never going to convince her of that.

I'd love to participate, but the idea of going alone deters me. Social anxiety ain't no joke, but neither is the cost of single occupancy.

Glad to see you back, Silk! (You, too, Fox!)

Thanks for the support, guys. Let me stew a bit. On a more personal note, I lost my grandfather and will be going out of town in a couple days to pay my respects, so it might be a couple weeks before I feel up to a new submission. Take care.

The story thus far, in my friend's words: And y'all said the exact same thing. Sigh. /o\

Well, I sat down with one of my trusted beta readers this morning and had a good, long conversation about Broken Universe. Between her feedback, and the feedback this group has kindly offered thus far, I have a better idea of what needs to happen. I've already admitted the gap in time between the opening scene and the last two submissions had been giving me heartburn. If I have a problem, and my readers have the same exact problem, then, you know, there's a problem. I had gotten completely hung up on the timeline, because I "needed" things to happen at certain (hugely disparate) times of year. In hindsight, I'm not sure why I was so stubborn about keeping it the way it currently stands. I think I was simply impatient to keep the story moving. Now I have 80K words hanging over my head, and I kind of dread making the needed repairs, because there are OMG SO MANY. With that being said, I'm holding off on posting more of this particular story until I've at least sat down and formed a plan of attack. To be honest, this project is sprawling and ambitious (for me, anyway), and requires a finesse I currently lack. As I told my friend, I'm good at the conceptual, but not all that great at the execution. I have a lot to learn about storytelling. I'll still be around, participating. A few of you have posts I've been meaning to catch up with. Thanks to each of you for your feedback and encouragement!!

UGH. Indeed. The story I'm sharing with the group is particularly near and dear to my heart, which heightens my anxiety. Woooooo! Congrats! Breathing is fun. Good luck on GTD!

Also, Baxter has a lot to answer for, and you probably won't like him much better after reading the coming two chapters. I'm worried about this next submission the most, I think, because it made me uncomfortable—sick to my stomach, actually—to write. As fond as I am of my antihero, he's guilty of much. I'm hoping he redeems himself in the eyes of my readers, but that remains to be seen. Thanks again so much for reading and commenting!

CONTENT WARNING: Chapter 5 features content of a sexual nature. I think the MPAA would give it an R rating, as it’s not terribly explicit. I don’t beat around the bush or handwave, however, so consider yourself warned! -- Previously, on Broken Universe: The otherworldly powers Baxter Phelps developed as a teen have left him mentally scarred. He’s learned to cope through self-medication, and using his powers to cheat his way through life as much as possible. Despite this, he feels like things might be looking up for him. Then a transdimensional portal appears nearby while he’s wrapping up a successful hunting trip in the woods, and the portal’s appearance triggers the return of a slew of confusing and incomplete memories. He enlists the help of his ex-girlfriend, Kim Dehaven, a move that proves disastrous when she is possessed by a strange, menacing entity who appears to know Baxter intimately. The entity taunts him before tendering a warning: he has company coming. Chapter 2 Summary: The aftermath of Kim’s possession, which Baxter promptly forgets. Chapter 3 Summary: Seven miserable, confusing months have passed since Baxter’s run-in with the entity. He shows up late for his daughter’s birthday, and receives some distressing news: Kim is newly engaged to someone else. He doesn’t take it well. Chapter 4 Summary: Kim calls it like she sees it. Chapter 5 Summary: Baxter digs himself a grave. -- I’m looking for feedback on character development, story pacing, and wordsmithing. NOTE: This story, from beginning to end, is heavy on romance. I personally enjoy mixing sex with magic, but I’m aware that isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. Screwy quotation marks are screwy. I tried catching them all, but as I review the PDF just now, I notice there are still a few here and there. Sorry. :| Thanks much for reading!

I'm super freaking apprehensive at this point, but will continue. Thanks so much for the encouragement and feedback.

Cool beans. Thanks, guys!

Gotcha. Point taken!

I want to submit on Monday, if that's okay with the group, and there's room. Soooo... I really want to send out two chapters to meet all y'all's demands for content of a more fantastical nature, but as of right now that would add up to a whopping 6500 words. If I can't cut the text to a more manageable size (which at this point I doubt, because it seems like I keep adding each time I open the document), there'll probably be just the one chapter. Edit: Got it down to 6K for both chapters. Yea, or nay?

Heh. There'll be a good dose of the former in next week's submission.

Yay, thanks for reading again this week! Seriously, man, I hope I haven't gotten you booted from the forums for this post. I appreciate your feedback and comments like whoa!