WARNING: Some people may find these mean. Please don't downvote me for that, I did not make these up, I just want to share them with those that will find them funny.
1. Why did the fish fall off the bike?
Because its a fish.
2. Why did Sally fall off the swing?
Because she has no arms.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Not Sally.
3. Why was the boy sad?
Because he had a frog stapled to his face.
4. Roses are red,
violets are blue,
sunflowers are yellow.
I bet you were expecting something romantic, but it's just a gardening fact.
5. What did Woody say to Buzz?
A lot, there were three movies.
6. A horse walked into a bar.
Several people got up and left as they spotted potential danger in the situation.
7. What is brown and sticky?
A stick.
8. How do you confuse a blonde?
Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
9. Ask me if I'm an orange.
"Are you an orange?"
Nope, I'm a person.
10. Whats red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint.
11. What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
12.Whats green and has wheels?
Grass. I lied about the wheels.
13. What do a duck and a bicycle have in common?
Both of them have handlebars, except for the duck.
14. What do a helicopter and a banana have in common?
Neither of them are police officers.
15. What do you call a dog with no legs?
It doesn't matter what you call him, he isn't coming.
16. What do you call a fly with no wings?
It's still a fly, though the irony is unfortunate.