Sometimes, the only way in my experience to deal with these sorts of things is to sit down, and talk. Let her know how you feel, and what you would rather happen. That way, at least she knows, and there's at least a chance that things will improve
Wow. That's real rough. But sometimes, there's nothing we can do except grit our teeth and power through this kind of crap. Hope you find your jeans. Hope others can be more helpful.