TwiLyghtSansSparkles

There were three one-star reviews, and they were all from people who hated dinosaurs and Abraham Lincoln.

Well, if Lightwards can bring dinosaurs back from the dead, I see no reason why he shouldn't resurrect Earth's mightiest warriors, too. I mean, seriously, people.

It is official. Nathan and Funtimes are now the Ludicrous Duo and there is nothing you can say that will change my mind. "Hi!" Doctor Funtimes pulled away, still clutching his hand, and waved at Lightwards and the new Epic. "I'm Doctor Funtimes! This is the Traveller! He's new!" She threw her arms around him and squeezed, and all Nathan could do was hug her back. It didn't feel natural quite yet, but he didn't have the urge to pull back and apologize for touching her. Perhaps he'd get used to it. "Right," he said, guessing at what she meant by new. "Haven't had these powers long, but that won't make a difference. Hasn't yet, at any rate." He smiled cockily at the new Epic. He wore his dark hair gathered into a ponytail, and if the glint in his eye was any indication, he and Lightwards hadn't had the best meeting. Yet there was something else about the new Epic that made Nathan want to shy away—something familiar and not at all welcome. Something in the way he carried himself, the tilt of his smile. Funtimes hadn't let go of him yet. She saw it too. Whatever he saw in the new Epic had been visible to Funtimes, and she didn't like what she saw any more than he did.

As long as you're consistent and realistic within your own limitations, it's allowed. Said the player with a character who thinks Calamity is the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

Someone keeps bringing its corpse back to sell more tickets, and it's not George Lucas this time.

I represent that remark! I resent it too, but I represent it more!

Lightwars: Episode I: Revenge of the Vulture Not too far into the future, in a beautiful state far from the hellhole of Newcago, lived a necromancer and his pet vulture…..

And there we go! Up to you guys when and where they appear—I'm thinking they'll be close enough to be seen, but like I said, it's up to you. They can appear right between Lightwards and Nighthound, if you wish.

Nathan could hardly believe what he was seeing. Had he been studying the map of Portland and not searching for ways to avoid doing so, he wouldn't have seen it at all. It sat on a built-in shelf in the closet, barely visible through the door that hung slightly ajar. A bright orange hunting cap hung off the book's edge, obscuring all but the very last word of the title: -Sat. Carefully, quietly, almost reverently, Nathan set the cap aside and took the book down. Block letters spelled out the name of a friend he hadn't seen since just after Annexation Day: The Revenge of the Baby-Sat. Calvin and his stuffed tiger grinned mischievously at their babysitter, unseen from the stairs. Nathan smiled in disbelief, then quickly glanced over his shoulder. Funtimes was still across the hall, or down the block, or somewhere in Minnesota—wherever she was, it wasn't his room. Lightwards was nowhere to be seen. The Sadrys had done a remarkable job of keeping the book safe from Epics like Steelheart. He and others in his regime had objected to the idea of an ordinary six-year-old becoming Stupendous Man at will, even if the escapades had been strictly imaginary. With another glance over his shoulder, and a quick one down the hall, Nathan closed the door, pulled the covers over his head, and cracked open the book. "Who made this mess in here?" That first line took him back to pre-Calamity days, when he could sit and read whatever he liked with a glass of milk and a plate of cookies on his nightstand. He had never dreamed that milk and cookies would become a rare treat, or that Calvin and Hobbes would be virtually unheard of. For a moment, nostalgia was so powerful that he nearly closed the book, but it had been too long. Too long since he'd seen Calvin. A loud thunk jolted him from the page. Nathan quickly marked his place and hid the book under the covers, but didn't get to his feet. Footsteps made their way down the hall as a second crash sounded from the rooftop. A door opened. Two voices, just low enough to keep him from comprehending the words, shared a brief conversation. Lightwards and one of the zombies, then. Funtimes would be shouting at the top of her lungs. Only when Lightwards raised his voice did Nathan hear: "I don't want to hear anymore thinking from you, Donald. It doesn't suit you." His door, then the front door, closed a moment later. Nathan waited, not daring to touch the book. Any second now….any second…. He blinked, and Funtimes was in his room. "He's gone," she whispered. "I noticed." She giggled. "I'm gonna go see who it is." "Want me to come?" The slightest trace of a frown touched her lips—which, perpetually grinning as they were, was nothing short of astonishing. Her smile returned so quickly Nathan couldn't be sure whether he had imagined the frown or not. "I'll tell you if they're fun." She vanished. A moment later, Nathan heard her door, and then the front door, open and close. He raised an eyebrow. She really was intent on letting him keep the teleportation power, if she was worried about a few zombies seeing it. Then again, Lightwards' zombies were smarter than the average undead, so it was a valid concern. A few minutes later, she entered his room by the door again. She still wore her customary smile, but there was an edge to it—less like that of an absurdly powerful imp and more like that of a warrior assured of victory. "New Epic," she whispered, taking his hand. Her voice was so low he could barely hear it. "You're the Traveller." "Of course." Why was she reminding him of it? Was it another idiosyncrasy of hers, or did she have a reason? "The Traveller. That's you." "I'm the Traveller. I picked the name, remember?" She grinned. Was it his imagination, or did she look relieved? "Take us to him," she said at a normal volume. "Off we go."

Working on a scene right now. I figured I'd let the happy couple get acquainted before bringing in the…um…you know, I'm not sure whether they're entertainment or just plain weird.

They're all pretty logical (though not nearly as awesome). Funtimes has a weird one, but it's not hard to find. Like, you wouldn't have to hire a Ukrainian polka band to cover Katy Perry songs (which has happened) to use her weakness. It's a little more common than that.

More creative censorship? Observe: "Nathan tried to make his way out the door, but a loud chorus of chattering reached his ears. 'What the….' His exclamation trailed off as he saw the obstruction. A crowd—no, army—of penguins, all wearing baseball caps and carrying suitcases, blocked his path. "'Well, it looks like i'm not going outside today,' he said, and went back to watching TV."

Hahaha upvote for puns. Sounds good. Funtimes will be out the minute she thinks there's a party afoot, dragging a reluctant Nathan along.

*gasp* I forgot to ship Alterwards? I must correct this grievous mistake! You're Beautiful, an Alterwards story:

What about Altermind? He could literally make everyone see black censor bars where they need to be.

We're talking about creatively censoring Funtimes. Grading on a MASSIVE curve here.

Creative censorship is much easier when the character in question can defy the laws of physics. On a more family-friendly note, I'm all for bringing Nighthound to the suburbs.

She can't transform living things. She could, however, turn his clothes into a swarm of rabbits, which would be almost as terrifying. (Do rabbits come in swarms?)

We'd have to get creative with the censorship. VERY creative. More than conveniently placed shrubbery and penguins.

"It all started when the Great Noodly One sent me out into spaaaaace and a UFO manned by sentient newts all named Jerry picked me up and they bathed me in chili! And then the Great Noodly One himself decided to kill all the newts so they turned me into a giant cat and I shot strawberry milk out of my paws and then I made armor out or pancakes and that's when I woke up!" Big. Blank. Stare. Yeah, it'd devolve into ten pages of increasingly flimsy excuses. The liaison idea ... Think of the CHILDREN!!!! and the other players. We don't want to scare them off hen they all get back.

We could combine 1, 3, and 4 into a midnight stroll where Lightwards and the Traveler talk strategy while the inhabitants of Portland settle down for the night. My extended dream sequences tend to get weird.

Well, a Travelwards ship is a possibility.... Although I'm more of a Lightmaker shipper myself. But yes, I agree that a subplot would help alleviate the boredom.

Heh. We like to write. A lot. :/ How far are you?