TwiLyghtSansSparkles

I am a fan. Should I call an ambulance? The gouge-your-eyes-out-with-a-toothpick wasn't meant to be a suggestion.

I think it's because his hat looks more murderous than he does. Love the cutie mark, though. Also, because someone said "Lighthound…."

I know he has a pre-Calamity backstory, but I no longerr believe Nighthound was ever human. I think Calamity created him from the nightmares of children and the leers young women get in back alleys.

Yes, because Nighthound bleeds creepiness. Lightwards actually wore a Funtimes original design. One of those is menacing; the other is not.

Too late. Remington is after his Lucky Charms and there's nothing the Emperor of Leprechauns can do about it.

"I see you still have those pieces of human jetsam with you," Lightwards was saying, looking at the human trio with open disdain. "The goth, the treehugger, and the backwater bumpkin." Nathan knew that look, that tone. Coming from an Epic, it made every word—no matter what they were—a clear message: "Say anything but 'I'm sorry, it won't happen again,' and I will end you so slowly you'll say it a hundred times as you bleed. He was glad Lightwards' attention was fixed on the three defiant humans in front of him, because he didn't think he could make the appropriate faces for an Epic watching their pain. "At least that moron with the bagpipes is gone," Lightwards continued. "The idiot probably rolled off the edge of the Museum." It was a challenge. A call for one or all of them to make good on their icy glares. And the goth answered it. "Guess he got sick of the gas smell. Ever been around someone whose shirt turned into gas? I wanted to jump off too." "Don't mock the man, Samantha. I think he's a great boss." "You do?" "Of course. That hat is simply magnificent--it makes me think of a joyous leprechaun every time I look at him." Nathan felt himself beginning to smile, felt it tugging at the corners of his mouth, threatening to draw them upward in a prelude to a treacherous laugh. He tried to squelch it, but the smile was there and it wouldn't leave without some tragedy to show it the door. Then he glanced at Funtimes. The good Doctor's grin was the widest he'd ever seen in his short time with her, lighting up her face like an electric bulb in a lantern meant for candles. And every bit of that light was directed at the two women mocking their ally. Lightwards' face went from pale to the color of tomato juice in less than a minute. He no longer looked like the Emperor of Light, or even an Epic, for that matter. He looked like a ridiculous little man in an idiotic blue suit, wearing a bowler hat decorated by an overzealous four-year-old. Nathan expected him to fly into a rage, screaming about his stolen gold in the worst Irish brogue imaginable. He wasn't a ruler. He wasn't a god. He was just absurd. Nathan laughed. And once he started, he didn't think he could ever stop. -------------------------------------- "Enjoy your mouths, ladies. You might not have them forever." That was the worst threat Remington had ever heard—worse even than Trimmer's standard make-a-topiary-in-your-likeness-and-burn-it-at-sundown. The thought of that ludicrous professor—that joyous leprechaun—stealing their mouths and…what? Putting them in a jar? Reanimating them as two of his stupid Warriors? Would their bodies spring from their lips, or would he be stuck with two pair of sentient lips in his army? The thought, and the accompanying laugh, knocked him against a tree. Tears were pouring down his cheeks by the time he felt a pair of arms around his waist. Doctor Funtimes smiled up at him. "I like you, Remington." Samantha was next, and then the hippie. Both received an embrace and a declaration of like. When the Unicyclist rolled in on a unicycle modified with an off-road wheel, she pranced over and threw her arms around him and announced he was included in the circle of people she liked. Traveler watched her while wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. Calamity, that wasn't right either. Epics didn't laugh at "vanilla" jokes. Those rum raisins laughed at one another, at pain, death, or general mayhem. No self-respecting Epic would find a remark from a regular human hippie funny, let alone a newborn eager to prove how far he was willing to go. The dissonance nagged at him, but he couldn't make heads nor tails of it. Once everyone had received a hug, Doctor Funtimes pranced around the group, herding them in like a colorful, glittering Pomeranian herding cows. "Let's go home let's go home! You all get to see where we live and it's going to be so amazing!" With any other Epic, Remington would have disagreed. But she liked the rebels and dated a man who liked to laugh. He decided to keep an open mind. ----------------------------------- "Here we are here we are!" Funtimes' cheer greeted Remington before the sight of the cottage, before he had a chance to release Samantha's hand. And what a sight it was. Every wall was painted a different color, with no regard for matches or complements. In the living room where they landed, a red wall stood beside one of pale pink, which bordered one of bright yellow, with a bright purple ceiling over a rug shaped like a smiley face. Furniture was painted and shaped to look like wild animals—zebras, lions, wildebeests—or else like unicorns, trains, boats, and fairies. Laurie would have loved this. Remington pushed the thought—and the pain—aside as Funtimes skipped ahead, dragging two leopard-print chairs through an open door. She emerged a moment later, bouncing on the balls of her feet as she waved both hands over the sofa, changing it to a twin bed shaped like a smiling train. Two armchairs received a similar treatment. If she'd gotten her wish before— He stuffed that thought down just as the Doctor began speaking. "Okie dokie loki," she said, still bouncing, still grinning. "Remington, Mr. Unicycle, you sleep here. Samantha and—" she broke off in a giggle—"tell me your name when you want 'cause I'm sure it's awesome, you have the other room." She skipped over to Traveler and threw her arms around him. "We have our own room." Traveler smiled down at her. He still looked ready to burst into laughter. Still thinking about that leprechaun, I guess. Not that Remington blamed him. As far as he was concerned, Lightwards was the Emperor of Leprechauns from that moment forward. Funtimes bounced again, then put her hands to her mouth and squealed with glee. She dashed forward, wrapped her arms around the hippie, and jumped up and down. "You're here! You're all so here and it's amazing!" Traveler smiled, his hands shoved in his pockets. "We'd best get some sleep, dear. Who knows what we've got tomorrow." She pulled back, grinning up at the hippie like a child who had just met Santa. Not one of those fake mall Santas that was more likely to hit on your wife, but the real, North Pole Kris Kringle. After a moment, she took Traveler's hand and bounced into their room, closing the door. "Well," Remington told his companions after a minute of awkward silence. "Let's get to bed. No use trying the locks, I expect. She's probably got something up her sleeve we couldn't know about."

I was about to suggest that she's powered by the pure creepiness that fuels her brother and allows him to heal from fatal wounds. (That's what that black mist is, right?)

I'm okay with just about anything, so long as it's after everyone has a chance to get settled in for the night. Morning, or while they're all asleep would work fine.

Team Funacid. That fits the group just as well as the Ludicrous Duo fit Nathan and Funtimes. I plan on having them teleport at the end of the post I'm working on at the moment.

Sam could be a black rose and Aldo could be a playing card, maybe?

I wish there were words for how much I adore that description. Actually, I wish I was a decent artist so I could draw a web comic of The Joyous Adventures of Lightwards, the Jolliest of Leprechauns.

It's eating its own tail, so that's something.

Funtimes eats bacon donuts. Nighthound feasts on the sorrow of the multitudes, washing it all down with the tears of orphans.

Wow. It's Doctor Funtimes in a single image. Words cannot express my love for it.

Remington would be a rifle, Nathan would be a mask or a bad poker face, Scorch would be a flame, and Funtimes.... Is there a .png file somewhere of a massive glitter explosion in the shape of a kitten or a smiley face?

Public Alert: I am an Epic now. Below is a short summary of my powers and my ponified self. You have twenty-four hours to do likewise, or you will be involuntarily ponified.

Good question! Why should I stop? Why not ponify every character in this RP, existing and not? But why stop there? Why not ponify the universe? …. Be right back. I need to figure out what the sun would look like as a pony. Thanks!

I'll be making ponies until I'm done with grad school.

How about Bulgarian techno? She can always hand-feed them grenades, if they get too restless. EDIT: Since he's been mentioned, although still unclaimed, I made a Trimmer pony. "Oooohhhh, you wanna mess with me? Well, I'm gonna make a TOPIARY shaped just like YOU! And then I'm gonna set FIRE to it! Hahaha, you're going DOWN!" ….. I think I have a problem.

Agreed. I'm not exactly sure how they'll respond to each other at the moment, but I'm excited to find out. If he says the word, she will make it. She wants to smooth over some of the feathers she ruffled with the lighter incident, although no one can stop her from installing a speaker system that plays only Ukrainian polka music. Especially this gem.

I like it. Any other thoughts?

"Traveler? Doctor Funtimes?" Looks like we're being summoned, Nathan thought with no small degree of irritation. He had hoped whatever business Lightwards was attending to would keep him occupied for some time—most of the night, at least. Had he not intervened, Nathan had no doubt the fight between the so-called Emperor and Nighthound would still be raging, the only difference being a few more deaths and resurrections on Lightwards' part and more casualties among Portlanders. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he had assumed this mission would be similar. Apparently, his assumption was wrong. "Doctor Funtimes?" Oh well. At least the plants and the distant murmur of a river muffled his voice somewhat. If Lightwards ever annoyed him in the future, Nathan could pretend not to hear him and claim the jungle's background noise as an excuse. The thought of ignoring him—of ignoring any Epic—purely for his own benefit was both exhilarating and terrifying. Would Funtimes protect him if he did that? Silly him. She had doused Lightwards in gasoline and turned his introductory speech into a make-out session. Of course she would. Funtimes giggled and put her hands on his shoulders, her whisper barely carrying over the sound of water and rustling leaves. "Okay, on three, we go behind him. One…" "Behind him?" "To surprise him, silly! Two….three!" On her count, they appeared behind the necromancer and what appeared to be a pair of twins, both mounted on dinosaurs. Funtimes jumped before he could react, gripping his shoulders with an enormous grin on her face. "Surprise! Happy Unbirthday!" ----------------------------------- The dinosaurs were restless. Remington felt more than saw it. There was a tension in the air, mingling with the smell of air and leaves and moisture, the sense of predators stalking prey—with him as the prey this time, him and the other two. Three, if he counted the Unicyclist, but Remington hadn't seen him since leaving Funtimes with an adequate supply of ammo. A raptor stared him down as he passed, big snake-eyes glinting in the moonlight. There was hunger in those eyes, and sharp teeth in that still-closed mouth. Remington wanted to shoot the thing while it was still unmoving, but Lightwards wasn't the sort to hesitate before meting out his sick sense of justice. Remington would be a zombie himself in ten seconds flat if he shot without provocation. On the other hand, if Funtimes approved…. No. That Epic was too unstable. Too strange. She might protect him, or she might decide his eyes would look prettier with a vacant stare in them. There was no way to tell with that woman. Traveler would go along with whatever she decided, so he couldn't expect any protection from his corner. He heard a voice calling for Funtimes and Traveler. The transformer's voice followed a minute later with a "Surprise! Happy Unbirthday!" that would have been deafening in the museum. It was still loud in the jungle, but less so. "C'mon," he told the other two. The goth carried a book and the hippie a diorama of some sort. Neither was armed. He doubted either knew how to shoot and vowed to rectify that. "Let's get you away from that thing," he said, nodding at the lizard. If you so much as think about touching one of them, he thought, that slontze'll be scraping little pieces of you off the walls.

Hmm….what to do, what to do... I know! I'll ponify Prof!

Upvoted mostly for the gif. It describes college in one simple image. On another note, yikes. Hope you get a break soon—not just for the RP, but more so you'll have a minute to breathe! :/