Kobold King

Maybe it would somehow summon Calamity to the surface of the planet? Whatever happens, it can't be good.

The other Epics settled into their seats, quietly placing their orders. Most of them, at any rate--the biggest one of them continued eating what appeared to be another greasy sandwich. Where did he get that? Lightwards thought, flabbergasted. It almost looked as if he'd pulled it out from his pocket. He didn't have long to ponder the mysteries of the sandwich-eating man, however, as Altermind seemed intent on getting straight to business. "So, you wanted to talk about our mutually favorite death Epic?" the illusionist began after ordering a chicken dinner. "What do you know of him?" "Not much," replied Lightwards, deciding that some semblance of honesty would be the best policy. "I only arrived in town yesterday, you see, and I've been too busy establishing an empire to make formal introductions. I understand that he makes corpses, but I've never known an Epic who didn't. His name is whispered, proclaimed and screamed all across the city, and I'm growing increasingly certain that our paths will cross before my time here is finished." The waiter handed him a glass of tea, and Lightwards took a deep drink from it. Calamity he was thirsty. It had been a busy day. "I was hoping you could shed some light on the subject of CorpseMaker," he continued. "Is he strong? Does he have many servants? Are the two of you on decent terms?"

Very likely so, though zombie plants aren't particularly capable of carrying out his commands. The more important matter is: could Lightwards reanimate the patty from one of Big Al's Sausage McMuffins?

Yeah, I'm pretty sure a fight would simply lead to another Lightwards death. I'd like to keep those at least once per day for now. He's been deliberately pushing his limit, so he doesn't have a lot of room left. Another human wouldn't be possible to animate right now, but he could probably manage a cow. Definitely a tree. It's the strength of the mind he's dominating, not the body he's repairing, that counts for the limit.

Done. Letting a necromancer choose the restaurant for the evening, and then accompanying him to a steakhouse. #epicfail

"You have one hour," Altermind said after a moment of consideration. "The dinosaurs and rifles stay outside." Lightwards narrowed his eyes, considering. He didn't like the illusionist's insistence on setting the terms for the meeting, but it didn't seem like he'd have a great deal of choice. Altermind was firmly entrenched in the city, and any attempts at actively fighting him would have to wait until the Empire of Light had achieved its own form of security. Besides, Lightwards thought with a sudden burst of optimism, it's not like they can disarm me in a restaurant, of all places... --------------------------------------------------------- He had the twins escort them to the nearest steakhouse, which was a remarkably well-kept place for a post-Calamity restaurant. The girls explained in a simultaneous monotone that the local Epics were enamored in anything related to hunter culture, going so far as to establish their headquarters in a local sports warehouse. Apparently they went to great lengths to keep the steakhouse operational. At this Lightwards spared a glance for his colleagues, who looked thoroughly unsurprised by the information. Judging by the specks of blood that dotted Altermind's sleeves, he guessed that the steakhouse was in for some rough times ahead, financially speaking. The girls stayed outside on their raptors, drawing curious looks from people who knew better than to ask why dinosaurs were alive and well in Portland. The small group of Epics headed inside. The steakhouse was crowded and noisy--they seemed to be in the middle of the dinner rush. Even so, the staff was well-trained in the art of serving Epics, and Lightwards was pleased to find that he didn't have to kill anybody to make himself a priority. They were very quickly brought to a choice dining table, a skinny, cautious, and exceptionally polite waiter assigned to their service. "Bring me a large steak with baked potatoes, please," Lightwards said, not bothering to look at the menu. The steak was for protection--the potatoes were simply because he enjoyed potatoes, and hadn't enjoyed a good plate of them since he left Sacramento. The waiter smiled and assured him it would be out soon before turning to take the Thoughttown Epics' orders. Lightwards leaned back in his seat, doing his best to relax. He kept a watchful eye on Altermind and quickly memorized where all the nearest mounted deer heads were. He decided to savor the dining experience, take his companions' rudeness as it came, and above all else, try not to think about what Funtimes must be doing left to her own devices. If that wasn't a recipe for a good time, he didn't know what was.

To retrieve the power he invests in them, he has to kill them. Otherwise he'd have sucked the life out of Alice as soon as he realized she was still in the ruined suburb.

That is a good point... Lightwards and Altermind are having dinner together (no it's not like that, you ravenous shippers.) Should I throw in a reference to how late it's gotten?

I think she's got a fair bit of potential as a character. And I haven't given up on an Epic-fighting Alice-Remington duo at some point in the future. I guess so. Though I'm not really connected to anything happening in the Museum at the moment, so it doesn't really matter from your perspective I suppose.

The Unicyclist as a secret agent? Stranger things have happened, I suppose... not in real life, of course, but in this RP certainly. I don't have many precise moments planned out for this game. The last thing I'd kind of planned in advance was Lightwards death sequence, showing flashbacks to his previous deaths. Now I'm trying to figure out how to re-introduce Alice, but that'll probably be at least a couple of in-game weeks in the future. It could always happen sooner though, if there's a good opening.

Remington Springfield: he was badchull before it was cool. Any idea when we might get insights into his backstory?

Excellent! I will place these codes in my vault. Also, I'm going to very disappointed if Remington doesn't have at least one uber-badchull scene where he kills a major Epic.

I'm glad it was a hit. Next I was thinking of catering to myself a little bit and doing Lightwards, or else recreating a scene from the RP. According to Theorymaker's first post detailing Kathy, from the first page of "What Happened in Oregon": Granted, I'm not sure whether she kept the costume or not for the whole RP.

Rocky roads? Butter pecans? Gelattos? Sorbets? You guys wait here. I have the strangest urge to visit Ben and Jerry's all of a sudden.

I just now realized that I wrote that Kathy and Travis were most likely vanillas, but that Kathy is a full-blown Epic with a costume and everything.

Um... mainly because I didn't actually notice he was described with a beard at the time. It was before Funtimes' illuminating introduction to the character. My pony codes are currently on a crashed computer, but if I'm able to recover them, the first thing I'll do is fix him with the most magnificent beard the creator has stocked.

Yer the boss, boss. I love the face, but I'd be interested to see what new mane color he'll be given.

That would be great, if it's not a big problem. Those are some of my favorite ponified Epics so far. Thanks!

I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was still trying to figure out how to add Batman to Equestria when I heard my sister watching a Daring Do episode from the other room. And of course, how could I resist a shot of Doctor Whooves looking horrified by Calamity? I'm not as pleased with Scorch in the last panel. I threw that pony together very quickly, and to be perfectly frank I didn't even try to find his character description. So he looks more like the Devil here, which is appropriate I suppose. Since I might try to put together more of these--including, possibly, a group shot--do you two still have the pony codes for Lucentia, Nighthound, Nathan, and Funtimes?

Thanks. I might make more. I'm not sure yet. I used General Zoi's Pony Creator in conjunction with The Super Speedy Comic Squeezy 6000, a web application which can be unspeakably buggy sometimes, but is overall really awesome and easy to use. Since I had trouble getting the text to work right on the SSCS6000, I used Microsoft Paint to add it in. If I did make more, any suggestions on which Epic I'd do?

Gah! This has taken most of the morning to make. I need to find a better comic creator. Anyway, here it is. Mares and gentlecolts, fillies of all ages; I give you, the tale of Altermind, Mental Illusionist of Portmane! Also in the "What Happened in Equestria" series: Loop de Loop the Sushi Mare Professor Card Null and the Dinosaur Heist Berry Sperry and the BEST PARTY EVER

The Mistress has been outshipped, has she?

Nope. The spatial distortion is fixed; her death would not undo the various anomalous effects she has produced. Calamityville and any pocket universe she has created would stay separate. I love the Deathgale pony, by the way.

Being trapped in a pocket universe with Möbius, Slaughterhouse, Lucentia, and Nighthound would be nightmarish on so many levels.