Kobold King

...So I guess he won't be wanting a pet saber-toothed tiger? In all seriousness, I like him. Pony forthcoming--Max is a little harder, since physical descriptions of the man are hard to come by. I imagine every one of us could set off to make a Max pony and all come back with wildly different results.

Phil and Aldo had a falling out since they both wanted to use the title "Epic Shrink," one as a job description and the other as a fairly literal power summary.

Psychiatrist: Good afternoon, Mr. Grisslie. I'd like to talk to you about some of your more violent incidents over the past few months-- Slaughterhouse: Really? Finally, someone who appreciates art when he sees it. Psychiatrist: Ah... sorry? Slaughterhouse: Well, you took such pains to interview the artist! * shakes manacles * Tell me, which was your favorite work? Psychiatrist: Art? Um, I don't know... oh. You mean the victims. * sighs * Slaughterhouse: Which was your favorite? Lisa the Triangle's probably my best work, though there's no denying Tim the Pig's charismatic little face. Do you know how long it took to flatten a human nose to that extent? Psychiatrist: ...Can I amend my previous statement? Let's not talk about your violent incidents. Instead... why don't you tell me about your parents? Slaughterhouse: * grins widely * Psychiatrist: They really don't pay me enough for this.

Voidgaze suddenly spun all the way around, her hair flapping into an unruly mess as she did so. “Uh… names," she stuttered, seeming startled. "We´re talking about names. Apparently Funtimes came up with the name Traveller.” Liar. Lightwards raised an eyebrow, staring at Voidgaze furiously. And he had thought she would be more amiable than the other Thoughttown Epics. She was no better than any of them. No more sympathetic to him or his cause than Altermind. He took another step towards Voidgaze, scowling deep into her eyes. "I would suggest you think very carefully before lying to me, Rita Blue," Lightwards growled softly. He let his voice rise higher, and raised his head to gaze at the others in the forest. "I would suggest you all think carefully before lying to me," he proclaimed, fingering his pistol. A few nearby raptors seemed to sense his mood, approaching Funtimes and her group with mild hisses. "We are united in a single cause--or so I believed. Under my command, this Empire shall blaze its enemies to cinders. My orders will take Oregon by storm, and the rest of the world will follow forthwith. Anyone who stands by my side shall walk with me in triumph; anyone who whispers against me shall be burned into the dust." He let his glare carry over the surrounding Epics. He was receiving varying looks from all of them--the merrier atmosphere from moment before had dissipated. He opened his mouth again-- "Tea and Twinkies, Lightwards," said Simon Regway. Lightwards wheeled around on the Warrior, who stood vacantly with a tray of tea and pastries. The pastries were indeed Twinkies, with expiration dates from around the time Calamity rose. Simon Regway pushed the tray closer to his master; Lightwards stared at him furiously for a moment. I've gone too far, he thought with a sudden start. The last thing I need is a Funtimes rebellion right now. He took a handful of Twinkies and faced the room with a nervous smile. "Ah... forgive me for my little tirade," he said slowly, trying to sound jovial once again. "You must understand, this Empire is of the utmost importance to me. Surely I can be excused for a little... defensiveness when it comes to maintaining its security." Giving a chuckle, he tossed the old pastries to Voidgaze, Traveler, and Funtimes. "Let's have an open chat, shall we? No whispers, no conspiring. We're allies, at least for now--why don't we act like it?"

All righty. I can do that.

I wonder how much of our fanon will ultimately become Ascended. TwiLyght, are you up next in the Museum?

I fear that Chicago Joe's canon appearances will be somewhat underwhelming, considering the level of memetic awesomeness that has grown up around him.

I think we can all agree that this idea was... a hit.

Now that's a fan theory.

Pretty much everyone in the RP needs a psychiatrist, but I doubt any of them will actually get one. I like to whisper too.

Yes, pretty much that. (That made me laugh way more than it should when I'm surfing the Web in a house full of sleeping people. )

That is indeed the only possible Funtimes reaction. And thanks. I like showing that he really is steadily losing his marbles. And this is only with three deaths--he'll be an erratic, gun-toting, dinosaur-riding psychiatric study once CorpseMaker and other future murderers have taken their toll on him.

"Just the one then," Phoenix replied, taking his shot. "My head's already killing me I shouldn't add to the problem." The lady to his side poured him a cup of steaming tea, which Purple "Jeffy" Phoenix began to gulp down with enthusiasm. "So you've only recently joined up with Lightwards?" he asked between sips. "I was with him just yesterday when they raised the museum. It's probably best if I not go back until I've cleared some things up with them, but I am still interested in allying with the Empire. Might I ask you and your assistant to act as intermediaries?" Aldo took another shot of scotch for himself and smiled. "Absolutely--we were sent to retrieve one of Lightwards' wayward Warriors, but as she seems to have skipped town, we would be pleased to bear some good news to our esteemed necromancer." "Right," Cricket said in a surly manner, unwrapping a candy bar she pulled from her pocket. "That's the thing about powerful Epics--you really don't want them to associate you with whatever's ailing them in life. Best to feed them a continuous supply of sunshine and lollipops." "And this is Sammy...and the Unicyclist.....and....you? I know your name is awesome but I don't know it yet." Revolution smiled and took a step forward. "Revolution Sunburst Jones," she said simply. The responses varied. Remington raised an eyebrow as he stared at her; Sam just gave her a grin. Lightwards' jaw dropped in complete bewilderment; Traveler looked completely taken aback. Doctor Funtimes gave out a loud and dramatic gasp, her hands pressed against her cheeks and her eyes glistening. "That. Name. Is. Incredimazable!" "Thanks," Revolution replied proudly. "I--" The hug caught her off guard. Funtimes grabbed her waist like a clingy younger sister and started jumping up and down, letting out high-pitched squeals and giggles. Revolution did her best to laugh, but the embrace was sudden enough that her chief reaction was a gasp of surprise. Finally, the jolly Epic pulled away, still gushing quietly. "Blueberry, these are my friends," she proclaimed. "They're awesome and have awesome names. Friends, this is Blueberry. She's neat." Revolution brushed glitter off her shirt and straightened her ruffled hair. "Pleased to be of your acquaintance, Ms. Blueberry," she said finally. "Revolution Sunburst Jones." Lightwards felt his jaw drop, but quickly replaced his shock with rage. She's lying. Revolution--why, that's not even a name! Funtimes was entirely taken with the moniker, and quickly rushed to the hippie's side giggling like a young child and hugging her servant close. It does explain how she's survived this long, he thought darkly. She's clearly adept at locating and pleasing the most powerful Epic in sight. He turned away from the sight of Funtimes and "Revolution" hugging, only to find Traveler and Voidgaze close together, apparently whispering. He heard only a snippet of conversation as he stepped closer. "...thinks it's real," Traveler whispered urgently. "It was her idea, I swear." Lightwards frowned, but didn't speak. Calamity, were his allies already conspiring against him. Clearly that's what "thinks it's real" referred to; the thin veil of camaraderie that Funtimes and Traveler insisted upon. It was a hoax, a set up, a trap to leave him frenzied and alone... or was it a reference to the illusionist Altermind, who had no doubt cast his hallucinations in every shadow to watch him lay his plans... He found himself absently rubbing at his chest, breathing heavily. His hand pressed against where bullets had penetrated a mere day before. He swallowed and regained control of himself. It gets a little worse every time, he thought with a spike of fear. I can't let the deaths I've faced keep me from my goals. Paranoia is not my friend--at most, it is a very slippery ally. "Might I ask what the pair of you discuss over there, all to yourselves?" he asked instead, trying to sound innocent. "I do believe this is a group meeting, and whispers are not conducive to trust."

* GASP * I must rectify this lack of ponies at my earliest opportunity! Once I've read Flashpoint's bio and re-read Max's posts, there will be an equinization like no other!

That makes sense. As for a potential meeting place--how about the Sadry dwelling? It's still in a pristine condition, and it doesn't technically lie in any one Epic's territory. Lightwards could mention it as a nice little house in the suburb where he first forged his alliance with Funtimes. Also... is there a bio somewhere for Flashpoint that I missed? I can't find one. :/

That's an interesting idea. They could provide a consistent source of random encounters throughout the RP if TwiLyght approves. Very well, I'll get something written up then.

Personally, I'd have been thrilled for people to have started friending me mere hours after I made my account. Who goes next in Oregon?

No response yet--here's what I said, in a conversation titled "Ahoy There."

I will take the Ring PM into Mordor Traveller's PM box. EDIT: Message delivered.

...Do you think someone should send him a PM with the link to this thread? He's probably confused about why a bunch of ponies are friending him before he's even posted. I find that the ponies do affect the way I envision the characters. For instance, it's pretty much my headcanon now that CorpseMaker rocks a sweet brown turtleneck, when I only gave him one in the latest comic because I couldn't find a new cutie mark for him.

I seriously want to PM Traveller and say "Don't worry about Altermind or the necromancer. Your secret is safe with me. ; )" Thanks. Am I the only one who thinks of ponies instead of people when I read Oregon posts?

Oregon will fall when the Question is asked. To christen this new incarnation of our favorite question, shall I present our first pony?

Thank you both. Oh darn. Didn't think of that. I guess I'll just have to post the comic again-- There. With that out of the way, on to your Lightwards question. As long as traces of his DNA remain, he can resurrect. Incinerating him won't work, because microscopic genetic fragments will survive the heat and allow him to come back. Even in a nuclear blast, you could scrape enough protein molecules off a wall for him to resurrect. Even if you completely annihilated every molecule in his body, I guarantee you that he'd have left enough loose hairs and skin cells behind him to provide an alternative route for resurrection. You pretty much have to use his weakness if you want him to stay dead.

All right-y, I made a memorial comic depicting Scorch's death. If this one is well-received, I might be persuaded to do one of these every time a player character dies... assuming I maintain loads of free time. Before I post the link, I should point out that the wonderful "Mech Hangar" background was found here. Here is the comic.

...Alright, I'm sold.